I (Pag) have been putting off writing this newsletter in a meaningful way for months. And although I doubt anyone noticed, I’ve turned to it now as a return to my duties and to my heart. I went away this summer for a long time because I got my heart broken.

Heartbreak is a fickle thing. It’s slippery with fits and bouts of scabbing over and then relapse. I like to pick at my wounds, and this one I obsessed over. It was a betrayal which stunned me in both its form and its content, a dialectical tornado of seeming to prove every fear I have about myself and to offset that fear by refusing to react in the way my Id was telling me to. So I fled New York City and with it, partygirl.

Being plunged into numbness and self-hatred and distrust cut off my connection to my loved ones, my creativity, and my Self. It was a novel spiral for me, proving that I could always sink lower than I had known myself capable. And if you were wondering what was at the bottom: nothing worth seeing. The center of the earth is in fact and unsurprisingly darkness incarnate. I didn’t remember who I was, where I belonged, and what I should be doing. Breathe was automatic but living was not.

And while this all was happening inside of me like a pot of water on high heat trying not to boil over, I was lucky enough to find myself connecting with and being inspired by friends both old and new. I swam through Zakynthos’s caves literally towards the light and literally hand-in-hand with my friend Natalie. I hiked Berkeley’s hills with my friend Julia, who pushed me to go higher and faster when I was out of breath and begging to slow down. I braved playing all new songs in San Francisco with my friend Elizabeth, who didn’t mind fumbling through them with me. I reconnected and reminisced and laughed until my sides ached with friends old and new San Francisco’s dive bars and bookstores, in Los Angelos’s clubs and museums, in New York City’s movie theaters and restaurants, in Philadelphia’s breweries and parks. Across the country, I screamed at World Cup games during the day and I watched Love Island (UK season 5) late into the night. And at the end of the summer, to cap it all off, Sam and I drove across Pennsylvania, finding ourselves surrounded by forest and farm, in awe of Fallingwater.

Yes, the foundation for my life these past few years shattered but slowly and steadily, I could feel my cells healing and the path reassembling piece by piece. And each time I got home from one of my trips, I remembered an old part of myself or discovered a bit more of who I want to be. It’s hard to know who you are when you’re facing someone trying to burn down your house from the inside. I feel blessed and lucky that I have been able to rebuild, surrounded as I am by an incredible batch of smart and talented people forever inspiring me with their own brilliance.

And so that is where I was and now I am back, and with my return, so is partygirl. And if you didn’t know, which you may or may not as I am barely on the Internet anymore myself, here’s what we released/did this summer.

1. Live at Prototype 237, double single: If you want to hear the partygirl power ballad, this EP is for you. Including our live closer, desirable, and one of partygirl’s first songs/deep cuts, your eyes, this was recorded via live session at New Jersey’s love Prototype 237 in the summer of 2025. There are Youtube videos for desirable and your eyes here!

2. New Orleans, a single: Crazy, sleazy, proggy, sweaty, this song is probably the best when you listen to it drunk and angry. Or when you want to feel powerful and righteous. It’s classic crazy-girl partygirl. Who am I to say how you enjoy it? There is also a YouTube video.

And here is what’s coming…

1. B-sides, double single: PRE-SAVE now, out September 23. We’re announcing next week. You think we’ve been emotional? Wait until you hear these… Oh and there’s a music video shot and directed by our very own Jenna Love while we were on our Midwest tour. It’s amazing

2. October 8th show at Trans-Pecos. We’re celebrating the fifth anniversary of COPY, the zine. I think we announce next week.

3. October 30th Halloween party at the Shell. Same as last year, but bigger and better. We’re doing Lady Gaga. Come party…

That’s all for now. Thanks for bearing with me. We’re so back, I promise.

<3

pagona