This morning I caught myself impatiently rushing around the kitchen, decluttering, making coffee, putting away dishes, already feeling frazzled and overwhelmed. In the background, my mind was busy too: familiar self-judging chatter and the beginnings of that pessimistic spiral into Everything’s a mess. I really need to get my shitakes together.

Then I noticed I was getting worked up about feeling worked up. There was some anxiety in the mix, and I could feel myself reaching for my usual ways of trying to shift into something more positive, something with a better attitude.

Then I had a different thought: Hmmm... what if I just let this be here, keep moving with my day, and see what happens? Maybe it’s no big deal that I’m not feeling great right now. Maybe it’s OK to not feel OK.

So that’s what I did. And something shifted. A few minutes later, I noticed I was more present, more settled, and simply puttering around the kitchen.

Sometimes resilience means letting discomfort be there without immediately trying to change it or make it go away. We can notice what we’re feeling without judging ourselves for it or turning the feeling itself into a problem.

Not every uncomfortable internal state is a four-alarm problem that has to be solved immediately.

Try this

When you notice yourself struggling, pause before trying to fix anything. Instead of “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” try something like: “This does feel hard. And really, it’s OK to not feel OK. I can just hang with it.”

Then notice what happens.

If you’re supporting others

Before reassuring or problem-solving, try simply acknowledging what’s hard: “Given what you’re dealing with, it makes sense that you’d feel this way.”

Sometimes resilience looks less like changing what we feel and more like making a little room for it.