Hi friends,

It’s been a minute since I wrote about who I am and what this newsletter is about. You may have subscribed because you saw that I occasionally write about neurodiversity, or sobriety, or my devotion to fried food.

Then you went about your life and the next thing you knew you saw ‘Ren Riley from Wavy Thoughts’ appear in your inbox and immediately you wondered “What is a Ren? What is a Wavy Thought?!”

Fear not, dear reader, I am here to explain. Here’s a little Q&A answering some questions I’ve seen from readers over the past few months (thank you!).

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and why you started the newsletter?

I’m a northern English AuDHD millennial (Yes, it’s ‘bath’ not ‘barth’. Yes I crave routine but can’t stick to it. Yes, my back is killing me.)

I discovered I was neurodivergent a few years ago, in my late twenties. As Hannah Gadsby says, finding out was like receiving ‘the keys to the city of me’. I grew up feeling like a little alien wearing pigtails and a pinafore dress.

Now I feel far more comfortable in my own skin, and that is down to years of working to understand myself and stopping the negative self-talk and the constant wishing that I was ‘normal’. There is no such thing as ‘normal’ and I don’t want to be anyone other than myself. What a realisation!

I’ve been able to unmask pretty heavily too because I exist in such safe and supportive environments. I’m a very lucky person in that regard.

I started Wavy Thoughts as a way to process everything. Writing things down is the only way I can understand what I am thinking, so why not also share those ramblings with you lovely people?

As a result of sharing my experiences, I have connected with so many wonderful people on topics such as unmasking, echolalia, routines, social anxiety, special interests and more - it has been a joy to find my tribe here.

How did you recognise your autistic burnout? What has worked for you in preventing it happening again?

I experienced a pretty sizeable autistic burnout two years ago. It’s hard to explain how much of a different person I am now compared to back then. I knew something was wrong when I no longer made sense when I spoke and I’d just start crying randomly at nothing. When the random crying at nothing happens - mayday, mayday!

A GP helped me understand that it was autistic burnout. I was post-diagnosis but still living like I did pre-diagnosis (with a mindset of ‘I can do absolutely anything and I just need to push through discomfort’). I really believed in ‘No pain, no gain’ and thought that I could train my brain to get rid of all of my so-called flaws (aka my autistic traits).

Turns out I was doing too much social stuff, not taking enough breaks, I didn’t have a clue about my own sensory needs or my own limits. Learning the concept of actually having needs was mind-boggling for me as a chronic people pleaser.

Psst… I have written over 70 newsletters mainly about my experience of being AuDHD, including unmasking and burnout. The entire archive is available on my Patreon and the last three months of newsletters are free on my Substack page!

Can you tell us about your creative routine and how you manage to write a newsletter every week?

My aim is to write a little bit every day, but most of the time it doesn’t happen, mainly because of my energy levels. I’m proud of Wavy Thoughts because I haven’t missed many weeks in over a year, though I’m learning that if I do, that’s ok! I’m not in trouble!

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. After going through burnout and the death of someone very close to me, I realised that life really is too short and I sprung into action this past year, all guns blazing. It’s slightly inconvenient seeing as I’m also trying to learn how to slow down to avoid burning out again!

A good writing evening looks like sitting at my desk, with a hot drink, a small bowl of chocolate peanuts (which I have a bit of an obsession with) and the cat nearby. I have enough energy to think clearly despite it being later in the day. If my executive functioning is doing it’s thing and I feel I can lock in, I can probably write 500-1,000 words. I couldn’t have kept up the writing of this newsletter without the support of my wonderful partner who gently reminds me to try to write every evening. It’s easy for me to forget to write.

A bad writing evening looks like avoiding my laptop, ruminating on a million worries, staring into space, feeling like I’m not ‘good enough’ to be a writer, comparing myself to others, feeling very sorry for myself, and eating more chocolate peanuts (like I need an excuse).

I get through it by reminding myself that I need to write. I can’t not write. Writing and creating art most days have has such a positive impact on my mental health. To do neither would be irresponsible of me. I wouldn’t be looking after myself and my needs.

Why did you start drawing and making art?

I’m going through a slight hyperfixation this past month which has seen me, a person who has said all their lives that they are ‘not a very visual person’, to experimenting with all sorts of different materials, from ink scribblings to watercolour to acrylics, charcoal and pencil sketches.

It all started with the inky scribbles in this newsletter. Then I raided my local charity shops for art books and having really taken to learning about modern art. Out of nowhere I’ve got an aim to one day visit MoMA - the Museum of Modern Art in New York! Now I’m wanting to buy a high resolution scanner so I can upload my art in good quality. This time last year I had no desire to ever know about anything to do with art. Isn’t life full of potential for lovely surprises?

What are you future plans as a writer and your plans for the newsletter?

Write more stuff! The newsletter will still feature posts about my experiences of being neurodivergent, but I’m also going to broaden the topics a bit like I have recently with the art themed newsletters. Soon I’m going to take you on a bus tour of Greater Manchester, for example. Get your Day Savers ready!

If you want to support me as a writer and creative, pop over to my Patreon to check out the two tiers of membership I have set up over there.

• The first tier is £3 a month and gets you access to the entire Wavy Thoughts archive.

• The second tier is £6 a month and gets you access to the archive, plus bonus newsletters about my book writing journey and my creative practice, digital zines and any ebooks I make this year.

If you don’t want to commit to a monthly subscription but you do want to support, you can buy a digital zine, one-off access to a single newsletter or you can simply tip me £3 if you just want to show support.

Click my scribbly face below to check out my Patreon page.

I hope you enjoyed this one! Let me know in the comments if you did - I love hearing from readers.

As ever, take it easy.