19/07/26

I tell him the things I have learned about the places I thought I could trust, he tries to listen

his body feels strong

maybe there’s nothing I can do

they say they don’t need perfection but maybe they are lying

maybe all they want is ease

more and more ease until the end of time

hand them a jewel you formed with your own flesh and they can be proud and happy and fulfilled and easy all thanks to…

yes I was feeling something

I have tried to make them as comfortable as possible and they say small things about the imperfections and I wonder why they feel this need

I want to be wrong

how do I know

what if it’s like this every time until the end of time until the end of time until the end of time

there is nothing beyond a constant letting go

I want hours and hours to make an image

I want hours and hours

I want hours and hours

I want hours and hours

give me what I want

I get into bed with a mantra

I tell myself the things I need to know and I tell and I tell over and over