For better or for worse, I am not one to suffer in silence. I feel a sense of relief when I’m honest about what’s going on in my life, instead of just pretending that everything is okay.

There are times when it feels embarrassing; especially because it seems like I’m always not okay. It’s like, damn girl, when are you not going through it? Yawn!

But that’s where I am. Consistently not okay.

I mentioned in my last newsletter that I was having iron issues again. I was able to get two infusions, and check “at-home stool testing kit” off my chronic illness bucket list. I’ve been gluten free for the last three weeks and feel like it’s helping with my overall sense of wellbeing. (If you have any fav gf snacks, please share!!!)

At the end of last week, I felt like I was one step closer to figuring out what the hell is going on in my body. And then my doctor threw the word “tumor” at my mentally ill ass and it felt like I got kicked back to square one.

A few notes here: This tumor would likely be 1) benign/non-cancerous and 2) on my pituitary gland. It would explain why I have such high levels of prolactin and cortisol; it could also be why I’m such a moody, irritable bitch.

If I do have said tumor, it would be totally unrelated to my iron issues — neat! If I don’t have said tumor, I guess it means I’m just a stressed out, moody, irritable bitch.

At this point, I believe every woman has or has had at least one unexplainable tumor, cyst, or growth inside of their body that medical providers just sort of shrug at. Like, yeah, we don’t know why that’s happening but let us know if/when symptoms start getting bad!

It’s only been a few days since my doctor told me I should see an endocrinologist and I’ve already made several jokes about ALLEGEDLY having a brain tumor, because dark humor is the only way for me to offset an OCD health spiral.

Over the next month or two I get the pleasure of navigating a new journey with the U.S. healthcare system, one that is sure to be as morally corrupt and expensive as I’m used to.

I am still planning to launch Nervous Systems this fall, however, as always, reserve the right to change my mind if it starts to become too much. In all honesty, I could use the program myself as I recalibrate my needs and boundaries in this season of overwhelm/fatigue.

Either way, I feel like this “launch” is going to look pretty different than what I had initially anticipated.

For those who missed it, Nervous Systems is a group program I’m co-facilitating/creating with my sister, who is a therapist and yoga instructor. It’ll incorporate somatics/nervous system regulation with systems building.

It’s a culmination of everything I’ve learned and taught over the past five years of running my own business as an uber sensitive, neurodivergent, and chronically ill girly.

I made it for the folks who continue to run into the same problems in their business: disorganization and disregulation, lack of structure and boundaries, a revolving door of overwhelm, burn out, crash outs, and resentment.

It’s the necessary (and often overlooked) foundational work folks need to create a business that actually works for them.

I’ll likely be taking a hiatus from this newsletter to get right with god (be nice to myself/watch Bravo).

P.S. Thank you thank you thank you for all the well wishes re: Type C’s 5th bday last month! I’m so grateful for this community.

xo Andrea