Shall we try again?
Introducing the next iteration—dispatches to follow!
Introducing: World Cup Dispatch
Okay, enough folks expressed interest that I'm going to try to do daily-ish updates from my World Cup binging experience. That said, I don't want to flood...
WWC 2023: Who are we rooting for?
My boss asked me the other day “Who are we rooting for?” and I really had to hold myself back. I only started this job a month ago, it’s not time to let the...
Happy Women's World Cup Kickoff!
What's this? The Women's World Cup began this morning-ish at 3am Eastern time and you haven't heard a peep from me about it? Yes, that's right, I'm afraid. I...
World Cup Kit Competition
Today is the day!!! The World Cup kicks off in Qatar with the host team facing off against Ecuador, kicking off any minute now (at time of publication). In...
In support of a World Cup in the Middle East? Excel-lent Football Facts 3
In support of a World Cup in the Middle East? Excel-lent Football Facts 3 My aunt shared this opinion piece from the New York Times with me this morning and...
Heidi Klum Pitching Her Incredible, Preternatural, Ascendent Worm Costume to the Design Team
ICYMI: For her annual Halloween party this year, Heidi Klum became a worm. And I can't stop thinking about it. I even ended up writing this vignette of Ms....
Excel-lent Football Facts 1
The FIFA Men’s World Cup is 50 days away and as someone who loves soccer/football (for simplicity, I’m going to call it football for the rest of this...
Please retire, Dianne Feinstein
Did you miss me? Sorry, it was a busy month. But we're back, with more numbers, graphs, and ranting. A few weeks back, Nancy Pelosi announced that, at 82...
Who Wants to Be a Billionaire
I made a joke a little while back on Twitter that, given the choice between having my bed magically made up with fresh, clean sheets every day or a one-time...
The Bachelor Ever After
Tonight on get ready for a Theoretiquette unlike anything you've ever seen before. The most obsessive wiki-spreadsheet-scraper begins their journey to find...
The geologic time scale will f*** you up
Okay, I’m gonna be straight with you here. This one has a high probability of fucking you up and/or making you re-evaluate your entire existence. If you are...
Countries that suck the most at the Winter Olympics
I had a different newsletter scheduled for this week, and frankly I’m pretty excited for it, but I realized at the last second that I was really missing an...
How to beat Pixar at its own game
Pixar has produced 24 beloved movies since its debut in 1995. For over a generation, Pixar has dependably produced adorable, marketable animated films and...
Reviving Theoretiquette
Hello cherished subscriber!! Remember when I started my little newsletter two years ago? Of course you don’t, it’s been nearly two year, or, emotionally, a...
Theoretiquette is Leaving Substack
Dear subscribers, You may have noticed I haven’t sent a newsletter in some time. That’s simply because I haven’t had the time to do so. I got a new job and...
What Now?
I don’t have a reader question for this one, I just want to share my thoughts. Sorry, not sorry. Joe and Kamala won. This is true and exciting. And also...
Confusion Standard Time
Dear Theoretiquette, I always see you talking about time zones and stuff on Facebook, but to be honest, I don't get it. Can you explain what all this is...
Early Aught Dramas Are The Solution to Everything
Dear Theoretiquette, One of my direct reports at work seems to be really struggling working remotely. She’s a natural extrovert, and I think not being able...
Unsettling Stallions
Dear Theoretiquette, I've been troubled by something since I was in elementary school, and maybe you can provide some clarity. See, elementary school was...