Red-state rallies, disappearing campaign cash, a 1,500-foot wall — and Europe’s diesel
Politics Is Absurd
I Just Write It!
October 4, 2026
ALABAMA, TEXAS AND ALASKA IT IS.
When the midterm message isn't landing, GOP strategists find a solution: send Trump somewhere the cameras can still find plenty of Trump hats.
WHAT THE HECK...?
Michael Whatley checks the North Carolina campaign account while Roger Marshall quietly discovers that Kansas is suddenly a very good place to make a withdrawal.
PUT A 30-FOOT WALL ON TOP OF THEM.
Big Bend already comes with 1,500-foot natural barriers. Trump finds the missing 30 feet — just before the court finds him.
QUIET! WE'RE PROMOTING THE COUNTRY!
CBP goes looking for border-surveillance, drug-interdiction and memorial money. Turns out the supplies have moved to a much better-lit location.
NO. FOR THIS.
Trump tells Europe its diesel prices are too high and asks for emergency reserves. The American pump beside him clears up whose emergency he has in mind.
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