Definitely Maybe 2028, a $20 Million Vending Machine, and Supreme Court Loyalty
Politics Is Absurd
I Just Write It!
October 2, 2026
LOYALTY.
Trump says he doesn't want loyalty from his Supreme Court picks. He just wants “good decisions.” The gift shop clerk would like some clarification.
DEFINITELY MAYBE 2028.
J.D. Vance says it's obvious Ted Cruz is running for president. Vance, meanwhile, just happens to be going everywhere Cruz is.
HAVE YOU SEEN HOW FAR EUROPE IS?
Congress directed military financing toward Ukraine and European allies. Trump has a simpler geographic theory for sending it to Latin America instead.
TRY SHAKING IT.
Put taxpayer money into the DHS appropriations machine for border security, drug interdiction or fallen-officer memorials. Somehow, a Trump promotional ad drops out.
NO. I MEAN FOR THE POLL.
With just 26% approving of Trump's handling of the economy, everyone agrees they need a better economy. They just don't necessarily agree on which one.
