When Schools Grieve
The typical American high school is the size of a small town. My old school, Lincoln, floated between 1500 and 1800 students in my decade there. I think that framing is important for understanding the role of a high school principal and why I don’t find that job desirable. A principal is the mayor of a small town with all the complications and competing constituencies that job entails. They wear at least a half dozen hats. As the face of the school, they are the front line for flack from the community. They’re the person parents call when they are upset and too often they are bearers of bad news.
We got some bad news this Friday morning about a former student passing and it made me think about the collective grieving that happens in the small towns we call schools. One of my closest friendships here in the Gulf was cemented the summer my father passed away during the heart of the pandemic. I flew back from Seattle two days after he passed. Because of the pandemic there wasn’t an immediate service—there was nothing I could do in Tacoma and school was scheduled to start back here. That fall, I was miserable and racked with guilt. But several colleagues rallied around me, even brought my sad blubbery ass meals and my bonds with them were cemented.
This year we have a new teacher at our school. He, like me, is Black, beardy, and has roots in Mississippi. His mother suddenly passed the second week of school and he flew home to be with his family and for the service. When he came back, I made sure to check in with him. He is still grieving.
Both teachers and students bring their grief to school.
Throughout the pandemic families across the planet lost loved ones and elders. But I don’t think we took the proper time to mourn those losses, individually or collectively. The parents, the aunts & uncles, the grandparents we lost often were denied proper funerals. I keep reading about people struggling with student behavior in the post-online teaching era and part of me thinks a chunk of that is grief and loss manifesting:
Eighty-one percent of superintendents agree that student behavioral concerns are worse now than before the pandemic, with 35 percent saying the situation has gotten “significantly worse.” Ninety-two percent indicated that student mental health crises are worse than they were in 2019, with 57 percent saying the situation has gotten “significantly worse.”
Despite widespread agreement on the severity of behavioral and mental health challenges, 79 percent of superintendents say they lack sufficient staffing to fully address the student mental health crisis, and 74 percent point to staffing shortfalls as the biggest impediment to progress on managing student behavioral issues.
If Covid made adults emotional messes, of course students are experiencing the same.
The amount of standard issue emotional tumult and internal conflict in groups of teens is already high. Adding the trauma of loss to that… that’s why the news about the most recent passing hit me hard this week.
I got word over night Thursday and woke up to the notice for the all-staff standup meeting first thing in the morning. This is a routine I have grown familiar with after teaching for nearly two decades. I emailed my principal and said I had received the news and didn’t plan to attend the meeting because I didn’t want to be a sobbing mess in front of my colleagues.
I went to my classroom to prepare for my World History class. The mood in the entire school was subdued all day. Kids in tears, adults in tears, people ducking in and out of the counselor’s office. My principal came to my room to check on me but she looked like she needed someone to check on her.
A couple of students came to me with tears in their eyes on Friday and I told them it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be angry. Whatever you’re feeling right now is 1000% valid. But I also need to remember to take my own advice and give myself the space to feel all the feels.
Bits and Recommendations for the Week
I am working on an op-ed for my local newspaper back in Tacoma about the trial of the officers that killed Manuel Ellis. Ellis is a Black man that was murdered by police in 2020. His death predates the death of George Floyd but because of jurisdictional conflicts, a coverup by the officers involved, and the refusal of police to cooperate with the investigation, the investigation and trial were delayed repeatedly. Jury selection began on Monday. I will link to whatever gets published after it runs. If you have no idea what any of that was referring to I suggest you check out The Walk Home from KNKX; episode number one is linked below.
Last week, I mentioned I was re-reading Chomsky’s Manufacturing Consent. There’s a part in the book that really stuck with me about how US media covers elections and events elsewhere and given the upcoming election in Latin America, it’s worth laying out. In brief, when the side viewed to be friendly to the US wins, the press will dismiss electoral irregularities and frame the election results as “progress.” But when the side who wins is not aligned with US interests, the press focuses on irregularities and misconduct that otherwise would be ignored. Chomsky was writing about the way the media covered events in Nicaragua, which had a socialist government, with those in El Salvador, where the regime was supported by the Reagan administration. But I am keeping this passage front of mind with upcoming elections in Ecuador, Argentina, and Colombia next month.
As always, if you have any thoughts or feedback about the newsletter, I welcome it, and I really appreciate it when folks share Takes & Typos with their friends.
As always, if you have any thoughts or feedback about the newsletter, I welcome it, and I really appreciate it when folks share the newsletter with their friends.