ISSUE #20

TL;DR (Too Long, Don’t (Wanna) Read)

• Salvaged Relics, Vol. 1 Delayed Until This Summer

• Rise of the Flightless Updates

• Letters from the Void #2 Updates

• Into the Gutters: 2 Chainz’s Voice in his Head Made Him, so What did he Make?

• Gutter Buds!

  • Something Old: Beasts of Burden

  • Something New: Go back Reluctant Hero, Malloch the Damned #1-2, and BIGFOOT KNOWS KARATE: God Killer

  • Something Borrowed: Surprise!

  • Something Blue: Wheel of Webcomics Zine Bundle

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  WHAT’S THE WORD?

  Core - a central and often foundational part usually distinct from the enveloping part by a difference in nature; the usually inedible central part of some fruits; the muscles of the mid-region of the torso; an arrangement of a course of studies that combines under basic topics material from subjects conventionally separated and aims to provide a common background for all students.    

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  Salvaged Relics Coming Now Live!

  

  Salvaged Relics, Vol. 1 is being delayed until later this summer, so Edward (the curator of the collection) doesn’t overwork himself. We love a mindful king, so no complaints here, but in case anyone is disappointed, here’s a little preview of my story from the book:

  Content Warning: Mentions of suicide and dysphoria

  Shed the weight of your body and find the universe within. Workout Room. 11 PM.

  The words stare at me in all of their papyrus font glory. It’s sad to think that a little piece of paper between my fingers could be the solution to my problems. At this point, I’ve tried everything, so some mystic mumbo jumbo is where I turn towards. 

  My fingers tap my phone screen for the umpteenth time. It’s only 10:00 PM. Katrina should be awake, but she still hasn’t seen the message or my accompanying picture of the slip of paper. Disappointed, I move my gaze up to examine myself in the mirror.

   A sigh immediately escapes my lips seeing the same old Grey; the same pixie cut, same dull green eyes, the same slight double chin, the same broad shoulders, the same protruding gut, and the frustratingly same lack of a waistline of any kind. It’s a body that immediately shouts “I’m a guy!” to everyone and some days, I just can’t stand the sight of it. 

  I’ve been out as nonbinary for nearly three years, but the shame has subsided little. When I see my ideal self, I see a slender, little fairy, but with a few curves here and there, and a slight, firm chest that is both beautiful and rugged; a being that screams “call me they!”. Unfortunately, that fairy is trapped inside a big, hairy troll. 

  I play with my red hair tinged with a few gray strands—what Katrina calls my cinnamon sugar—as I revel in my fantasies. I think about what if I had figured out my nonbinaryness sooner. Would I have been able to shape my body more to my liking if I’d known younger? I used to have late-night study sessions in college where my peers would and I would discuss Kant and Camus while eating a tower of pizza. I’d wake up the next morning, take a run, and maybe eat salad that day then be just fine. But, at 35 years old, it’s so hard to make this body do anything it doesn’t want.

  I guess that’s why I even entertained that poster on the apartment complex’s community board. It claimed “You can’t lift the weight from your thighs until you lift the weight from your soul” which immediately elicited an eye-roll. Being a philosophy major, I’d often laugh at those spiritualist, life coach types who claim to have special higher knowledge that can heal everything from a broken heart to high blood pressure. They were delusional egotists just looking for the next sucker to spread the gospel of removing negative vibrations through yoga or some nonsense.

  But lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about that famous Camus line:

  There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Deciding whether or not life is worth living is to answer the fundamental question in philosophy. All other questions follow from that.

  My thoughts have been creeping toward the “no”. I’ve tried keto diets, Weight Watchers, and ridiculous acro-zumba-ballerina-type dance classes, but nothing seems to get me closer to what I see inside. I fear everyone will forever see me as a man who paints their nails got thrown into a blender with a lipstick lesbian.

  I shake my head and grab the fake porcelain sink in front of me. My eyes return to my reflection and I let out a deep breath to begin my dialogues. They’re a tool I use whenever my thoughts get dark and muddy like this. I know it’s dorky, but I always find a reflective surface and imagine I’m talking to a version of my favorite philosopher, Socrates. However, my Socrates is a drag queen named Hemlock who does a sort of fan dance while questioning the audience’s beliefs. 

  

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  Rise of the Flightless

  

The contributors of Rise of the Flightless decided this edition needed a subtitle, so we went with…

We should have some new contributors to announce soon, and I’m like a little kid waiting to give their parents their Christmas present; I’m so excited about who’s agreed to join the colony. Follow the campaign so you hear about it first!

Letters from the Void #2

Exciting things are happening for Letters from the Void #2! Felipe Thowsend finished up the main cover for the issue, and we announced three writers: Jerna Van Vooren, Fraser Campbell, and Anas Abdulhak.

More information about them can be found in our latest update.

Things are moving slowly, but surely. Following the campaign is the only way to get updates as they happen, so don’t forget to digitally smash that button!

INTO THE GUTTERS

Who is 2 Chainz? 

I picked up 2 Chainz’s The Voice in My Head is God, not necessarily for any spiritual enlightenment, but as a curious fan of hip hop. I’m like a mental collector of these books; I don’t need to own them, but I like to read them all. Sometimes, there are interesting insights as I travel through the mind of an industry giant, but other times they get really weird. 2 Chainz’s book falls into that latter camp, but I think it’s worth discussing not only due to its strangeness, but because of the deeper mindset it invokes.

The thesis of this book is that one’s intuition (which is God speaking to and through you) will lead to good things happening. Hearing this Voice and doing the opposite betrays oneself because it leads away from what is true and good. The times when 2 Chainz didn’t listen to this Voice, things went horribly wrong for him, so he shaped his career to best cultivate this alleged intuition. If he weren’t so surface-level when telling his story and delivered more than everyday self-help tips, this book would have, at the very least, been a light read about a big-name artist and a beginner’s guide to creativity.

But, I found myself scratching my head at the contradictory beliefs and lack of awareness in certain scenarios. This is not meant as a take-down of 2 Chainz or a critique of him as a person, but I do think how he views his success and talent is something worth discussing. It begs a question that is vital for creatives and something that seems to repeatedly pop up with successful individuals: where does our talent come from?

Who is the Voice?

2 Chainz attributes nearly every great idea or positive choice in his life to the Voice of God in his head. Everything falls back to intuition–some innate knowing or inspiration–he even explains that his stage name “fell into my lap”. He doesn’t quite know where it came from, and believes these moments are communion with the divine. Chapter after chapter of reading this artist explain that his songs, fashion sense and even food choices all came from this Voice, my mind kept returning to one question.

If all of this is true, then who is 2 Chainz?

To me, humans are a complicated mash of biology, choices, experiences, memories, and a little je ne sais quoi. If the essence of 2 Chainz, from his persona to his songs, is the Voice of God, then what makes him himself?. I was distraught pondering this because the book’s tone is meant to be inspirational, but it simply isn’t. The reader is supposed to take this as a call to faith, to listen to their inner truths, but 2 Chainz subtly shows a deep sense of shame and anxiety. Everything good is due to God’s guidance, but everything bad is because he didn’t listen. Truthfully, the book never digs in enough to explain which thoughts are due to the Voice and which are because of individual desire. The responsibility for 2 Chainz’s whims shifts based on how he feels about them afterwards, but he also doesn’t realize that’s what’s happening. 

This is most apparent in chapter 13, when the memoir talks about his father’s admission into a hospital and eventual demise. To prevent self-harm, his father had to be handcuffed to the bed, so he would stop attempting to pull out the tubes of the respirator. As an ex-convict, 2 Chainz’s father had an intense fight reaction to being restrained, so this was a nightmare situation. In the book’s strongest passage, my heart broke for the rapper who wanted nothing more than to end his father’s suffering. Overcome with emotion, he freed his father and then later had the nurse unlock the cuffs multiple times. Each time, his father pulled on the tubes and had to be cuffed once more.

To me, this goes against the idea of listening to the Voice in one’s head. 2 Chainz felt he had to do something; he felt compelled, even if it would be for the worst. Was that the Voice? Following the book’s logic, this should have been a moment where 2 Chainz explains how his inability to listen led to something bad, but he doesn’t. I don’t want to diminish his anguish–this situation is traumatic–but it's here where the truth slipped through. It’s this expression of powerlessness from the same chapter that I think is most revealing about his ideas of Voices and intuition:

“I had been accustomed to controlling things, fixing things, making things better. There was nothing I could do.”

Psychologically, humans tend to attribute their successes to their own efforts, while others got there because of luck, privilege, or even cheating in extreme cases. Inversely, people tend to attribute others' failings as inherent to them, but their own failings to misfortune. 2 Chainz confuses these tendencies by attributing his success to a higher power, but his failures to his actions. His sense of humility is so extreme that it borders on self-flagellation. I’d even argue that he’s preaching a sort of Calvinism. What’s interesting is that 2 Chainz isn’t alone here. This is something that successful people seem to do all the time.

Magic Socks, Toothbrushes & Alpha Waves

For centuries, possibly millennia, artists have attributed their talent or creative compulsion to outside forces. Sometimes this is a muse: a physical manifestation of inspiration, either as a person or object. Sometimes this is just the vague idea of inspiration or the subconscious ego. Some would argue that this is an essential step to making authentic art.

Lewis Hyde explains in his study on gift-giving and art, aptly titled The Gift, that “All artists work to acquire and perfect the tools of their craft, and all art involves evaluation, clarification, and revision. But these are secondary tasks. They cannot begin (sometimes they must not begin) until the materia, the body of the work, is on the page or on the canvas.” He further argues that “Premature evaluation cuts off the flow.”

This is a concept I’m undecided on. I find that waiting for inspiration and compulsion sometimes leads to never making anything or balling oneself into a tight wad of anxiety because the muse has yet to visit. To me, making art despite being uninspired is one of the markers of a developed creator, even if it ends up being “bad” art. However, I recognize that it's also important to dig within the self, and find ways to cope with the mystery–the uncertainty–of why a creator wants to create. But, these methods can go to strange places… 

Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes is known for having an extremely superstitious mindset. In his own words, he eats the same meals at the same times every gameday, and won’t let his wife buy shampoo if they run out the week of a game. Since his rookie season, he’s also worn the same pair of red underwear each game and only washes them if his team loses. After an amazing NFL debut (in which the underwear also debuted), he decided not to mess with the system. These superstitious beliefs among athletes aren’t done just for the sake of consistency either; sometimes they’re done for self-improvement.

J.J. McCarthy, who was the University of Michigan’s quarterback from 2021 to 2024, threw two interceptions that were returned for touchdowns in his team’s semifinal loss to TCU. It was a heartbreaking end to a season where McCarthy had to earn his starting position. Looking to not be eliminated again, McCarthy made some changes to how he played. First, he began meditating against the goalpost before each game to eliminate any distractions and anxieties. The second is something I still can’t believe I heard on live television: he started brushing his teeth with his left hand (his non-dominant one) because, allegedly, it makes you have alpha brain waves. Despite the unproven science, the changes in routine did correlate with McCarthy having a stunning season and winning the national championship. 

Conclusion

While all of this is odd, what’s important is what all of these men truly desire: control and explanations for the unexplainable. 2 Chainz says it plainly when he recalls his father’s death, and I believe this need extends to his creativity. He doesn’t know why the things that seem natural to him have led to fame and fortune. In a way, that suggests it might not be under his control and could fly away at any moment. That’s a terrifying thought to grapple with, and I can see how it would be more comforting to believe that it stems from God giving gifts.

This avoidance is how 2 Chainz takes setbacks as opportunities and protects his psyche (somewhat) from the fear of losing everything. While Mahomes and McCarthy’s beliefs are mostly harmless, what’s interesting about 2 Chainz is the extremes and contradictions he takes following his practice. He alone is responsible for the choices that led to negative outcomes, but also can’t think about them too much to preserve the idea of the Voice. I can only imagine the anxiety that weaves through his soul. In terms of The Gift, he’s entirely sacrificing the evaluation that’s supposed to come after the voice of inspiration hits. His lack of reflection is how The Voice in My Head is God is so surface-level, yet convinced it’s saying something deep.

The Voice is a limitation more so than a breaking of chains (two chains?). Creating is a personal endeavor and often a leap of faith. I’ve read countless anecdotes of an unplanned idea popping up midst writing that completely changes the direction of the story and makes it better than it was originally intended. It’s this dive into the unknown and finding sweet treasure within oneself that makes art such a fulfilling endeavor. Vulnerability, no matter how scary and painful it can be, should be a part of the experience, and relaying that to a Voice removes that internal conversation. It’s a feeling I think about a lot and is partially what inspired my comic in the first issue of Letters from the Void.

While 2 Chainz is undoubtedly successful, but he’s never been the top dog of the rap world. I struggle to name a song from his heyday that isn’t a feature for Jason Derulo or another, bigger-name rapper. I wonder if this need to ascribe the Voice as the arbiter of his success kept him from truly reaching his potential. While seeking humility is a noble goal, The Voice in My Head is God shows that it can be taken too far.

It is a trait that should be measured with Aristotle’s eudaemonia–a sort of middle ground where the good from two extremes is utilized for the highest virtue. It’s ok for a creative to take credit for the amazing things they’ve done as long as it doesn’t become toxic. Walk hand in hand with the doubt, converse with it, and let the great art be made together.

GUTTER BUDS

SOMETHING(S) OLD

Beasts of Burden by Evan Dorkin & Jill Thompson

Jill Thompson is easily one of my favorite artists, and the style of this book just adds to my love. Beasts of Burden is a collection of short, spooky stories about dogs and a cat fighting supernatural forces in their neighborhood with a solid emotional foundation. Great writing and great art are about the most you can ask for in comics, so I highly recommend it!

SOMETHING(S) NEW

Check out these campaigns by friends, colleagues, and things I just thought looked cool:

Reluctant Hero - Dark Slice of Life Manga Series - Volume 1

Unlikely childhood friends, Asta and Lola both embark on new chapters of their lives at university, Asta enrolling as a film student with a strong appreciation for caped crusaders and Lola in her second year of Psychology. Asta, feeling adrift, joins the Martial Arts Club and befriends Mallory, a fellow devoted comic fan. Mallory suggests they play out their fantasies via a student action film, however Mallory's intentions are revealed to be far more sinister.  

Malloch the Damned #1-2 - The Gay Son of Satan Horror Comic

He's handsome. He's brooding. He's clever. Good news, fellas. He's very gay. None of that's nearly as interesting as the fact that Moe Malloch is also the son of the devil.

Literally. Satan's his dad.

Moe Malloch was living his best afterlife until he came out as gay. To everyone's shock, Satan threw him out of Hell. Of all the atrocious things humans do, being a queer son of Satan is the worst?

BIGFOOT KNOWS KARATE: God Killer

While on a quest to find a lost ice giant, Bigfoot is caught in a battle with the gods! An elderly Odin has been murdered, and Benny is the prime suspect! BIGFOOT KNOWS KARATE: God Killer is a 26 page, full color comic book that that brings forward the history of our cryptid warrior. This is a one-shot story, perfect for new readers to the BIGFOOT KNOWS KARATE family.

SOMETHING(S) BORROWED

Honestly, I didn’t have anything borrow from the library this month that I loved, so here’s a picture of baby geese I saw this month. 

SOMETHING(S) BLUE

Wheel of Webcomics Zine Bundle

With the tumultuous nature of social media these days, we all need to find ways to promote our work and uplift each other. The curator of this group shared their zine bundle in the Comic Book Yeti Discord, and I immediately wanted to support the initiative. Help them build a better online space for indie comics!