In case you missed the news, I'm now a Nebula award winner! My nine co-writers and I were pleased and, I think it's fair to say, somewhat astonished by our win in the game writing category for A Death in Hyperspace. I can't say what was in the voters' minds, but it feels to me like a vote for small, weird, indie works of the heart, and it's just lovely. With so many of us on the ballot, we don't all get enormous lucite cubes (the Nebula trophies) but my certificate's in the mail. I really like this overview by Stewart C Baker about how A Death in Hyperspace came together, if you're curious.
Awards are strange beasts. I've had four Nebula nominations now, and three of them are for game writing (as is my only win), even though games are not the bulk of what I do or what I'm best known for. There are so many dynamics that go into it all. It can also be an odd thing to cope with; the emotions that accompany being on an award list can sometimes take us by surprise and be more complex than one might think. (This is probably especially true for those of us with imposter syndrome, and fear of taking up space, and mortifying terror of showing off). I actually struggle with all of that more than I struggle with disappointment over not being on awards lists (which happens most of the time! I've never been nominated for a Hugo, for example.)
Not being on an awards list is the default expectation, to me, so it doesn't sting at all. And I've never been disappointed when I’m nominated but don't win; it truly is an honour to be on a ballot in the company of one's peers. What makes it all more complicated, of course, is the feeling of obligation to the work and to the team behind it. We want our books, games and stories to have the best chance of finding readers (and, frankly, paying for the groceries) and while awards don't always translate to a bump in sales, anything that might introduce your work to one more reader is welcome.
Anyway, what I really want to talk about this week is occasioned by the fact that copy edits have landed for Mercutio, which is very exciting. At this stage, my editor (Jane Johnson) and I have already worked through any structural issues (characterization, plot, etc) and we're happy with what's on the page. So another editor has gone through line by line and checked for clarity and consistent style. (I cannot get into the habit of putting an S at the end of toward to save my life, even though I made a concerted effort this time!) Copy editors also check for any hiccups in the plot (a character being described one way on page 10, another on page 74), and they check on things like timelines (always an area where I'm prone to make errors, since I revise so much and tend to write novels that take place over many years.)