Archive (Page 7) • Sameach • Buttondown

August 21, 2024

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that...

August 20, 2024

Bush was very curious about how the Jewish people knew everything before he did. So he called the FBI and asked them to figure it out.One week later they...

August 19, 2024

Max, a union head, is addressing a union meeting at a certain unnamed Israeli government-owned company."Comrades - Chaverim! We have agreed on a new deal...

August 18, 2024

An office employee, knowing his boss was off for the day ,transferred the office telephone to his own cell phone and took it with him to play golf.The boss...

August 17, 2024

Mr. & Mrs. Goldberg had just got married. On their way to their home, Mr. Goldberg said to his new wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left...

August 16, 2024

The Israeli representative at the United Nations General Assembly began a speech recently with the following anecdote:"Before beginning my talk I want to...

August 15, 2024

A police officer stops Yankel for speeding and reckless driving and asks him very nicely if he could see his license.Yankel replied in a huff, "I wish you...

August 14, 2024

An old crippled man was just about as close to death as possible. His family of five--a beautiful wife and four children--stood around his deathbed awaiting...

August 12, 2024

Two women were riding a bus and arguing about the window."If this window is open," one woman declared, "I will catch cold, and probably die!""If the window...

August 11, 2024

Moishe and his teenage son Michael were having another heated conversation. “You just don’t understand me, Dad,” Michael cried, "I need excitement,...

August 10, 2024

David Goldstein was in the heavenly court with the Almighty Himself presiding along with the angel who was assigned as his defense attorney and the angel...

A rabbi told his congregation, "Next week I plan to give a sermon about the lying. To help you understand my speech, I want you all to read Exodus chapter...

Old Moishe Rosenberg was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter from the local Jewish newspaper who was on hand asked him, "Mr. Rosenberg,...

A tourist is traveling in Northern Israel with his tour guide Dudu when he comes across an ancient synagogue. The tourist is fascinated with the synagogue,...

Professor Hadari was teaching advanced map reading in his earth sciences class at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. After explaining about latitude,...

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Mr. Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period."Mr. Goldblatt,"...

Harry Rosenberg was known as a brilliant trial lawyer. He once defended a bus driver against claims that his negligence had caused injury to a young man's...

Moishe got a new job and one afternoon soon after he started, he entered John Cooper’s office and declared: "Boss, I know everybody in the world."Obviously,...

On the fast of Tisha B'Av after shacharis, Rabbi Menzies sees a very worried looking Morry Schwartz walking towards him. His face is white and his eyes are...

The kids filed back into Mrs. Carter’s class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on...

The time is the French Revolution.Yossi lived in a small village and one day, his friend Roberto came to see him after returning from a trip to Paris. Yossi...

Recently, my husband put his car in reverse and accidentally drove it into a wall. He took it to his mechanic, who replaced the dented bumper.A few days...

A fellow with a very sore shoulder went to his doctor for a consultation."It looks like it's just inflamed," the doctor said as he looked at the x-rays. "A...

Patient: "Doctor, can you tell me what are your fees?"Doctor: "For the 1st visit I charge $2,000 and the 2nd visit is free."Patient: "Okay Doctor, then this...

I went to see my doctor this morning. "Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!" I raged."So why are you telling me?" the doctor asked."I can't...

A young nurse is watching an operation for the first time. "Excuse me, please," she asks the doctor. "But what are you doing?""This woman swallowed a golf...

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags....

During the 'rush hour' at Houston's Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem.Since they needed the gate for another flight, the...

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time everyone come out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so...

Three men are in the middle of a desert when their car breaks down. For their hike to town, they each decide to take one thing with them.One man takes a jug...

Passing an office building late one night, the lady saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."She did so, and after several minutes she heard a...

A Joke A Day Disclaimer

Despite Sameach having once been called A Joke A Day, ajokeaday.com is not owned or operated in any way by the makers of Sameach. The name was changed from A...

After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, maggots, think about this," bellowed...

George W. Bush was getting off Air Force One in Israel, when he walked passed Moshe Rabbeinu, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moshe and said, "I...

An Israeli and an Iranian are sitting under a tree.A caterpillar falls on the Israeli, who looks at it in disgust and flicks it onto the Iranian. The Iranian...

A Rabbi dies and goes up to the gates of heaven. Before he's let in, the angel in charge has to consult with G-d for a long period of time if he deserves a...

Mary McDonough was at the airport in New York, scheduled to board an El Al plane to Israel to visit her husband Jim who was working for the United Nations...

Dave and Cyndi Epstein were on a trip to Israel and decided to rent a car so that they could drive around and see the sites. As Dave pulled into a crowded...

Itzik Hadar was driving home from his job in Tel Aviv when he was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Two days later—same ticket, same cop.“Nu,” the...

Berel and Shmerel are neighbors. Not exactly friends, but not enemies either. "Frenemies" they would say.One day, Berel and Shmerel are in a bank, when,...

A man walks into a Mexican bookstore in Times Square.Man (walks up to cashier): Do you have that book Trump wrote about the Mexican banishment?Cashier...

David and Rachel Epstein’s once happy married life was on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Sarah.For seventeen long years she...

Moishe called Dr. Finkelstein's office for an appointment."I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks.""But I could be...

The big red "F" stared back at young Moishie on his exam paper.Moishie’s friend Shmueli looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a low...

David asks his teacher, “Can someone be punished for something that he didn't do?"The teacher answers, "No, of course not. That would be unfair."David...

Russian President Khrushchev visited a monkey zoo and was photographed there. In a newspaper's office, a discussion is under way what should be the caption...

The KGB is interrogating a Russian suspected of being an anti-Soviet."What would you do if they opened the borders?" the KGB agent asks. "I would climb a...

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke...

Maurice and Isaac found themselves sitting next to each other in a New York bar. After a while, Maurice looks at Isaac and says, "I can't help but think,...