Today's Joke
Edward is an insurance agent who is sent to the United States Army recruiting office to explain to new soldiers their government rights, and especially the...
Today's Joke
Moishe had reached 60, so he went to see Dr. Myers for a full check-up. When he had finished, Dr. Myers said, "Relax, Moishe, you’re in very good shape. I...
Today's Joke
Benjy finally gives in. After weeks of nagging by his wife, he agrees to meet up with Dovid. Dovid was his elementary school classmate who he'd never had a...
Today's Joke
Four different types of engineers -- a mechanical engineer, chemical engineer, electrical engineer, and computer engineer -- were riding in their Jeep....
Today's Joke
After having dug to a depth of 1,000 meters last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1,000 years and came to the conclusion that...
Today's Joke
Itzik Smadar showed up to Tel Aviv Traffic Court to fight an expensive parking ticket he received. Itzik testified to the judge that a uniformed Policeman...
Today's Joke
Moshe Rabinowitz, known as a picky customer, comes to a small food shop and sees a new delivery of fresh fruit. "Give me two pounds of oranges and wrap every...
Today's Joke
Shmuel had a bad car accident involving a large truck. Weeks later, in court, the trucking company's high priced lawyer was questioning Shmuel. "Didn't you...
Today's Joke
Avi goes to his shadchan and says, "I must complain about that date you set up for me last week." "Oy!" says the shadchan. "So didn't your date with her go...
Today's Joke
Morty Applebaum had a very unpleasant appointment scheduled with an IRS auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr....
Today's Joke
A Yekke – an uptight Jew of German descent – decides to take the train from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. He books his trip weeks in advance and tells the travel...
Today's Joke
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So...
Today's Joke
A Jew gets pulled over for speeding. Jew: Is there a problem, officer? Officer: Sir, you were speeding. Jew: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license...
Today's Joke
Marty Mittleman was coming back from his nephew’s bar mitzvah party where he may have had a few too many l’chaims and he rear-ended the car in front of him....
Today's Joke
Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three...
Today's Joke
Avi Epstein went off to college and unfortunately the dorms didn’t allow pets so he had to leave his beloved dog Nudnik back at home with his parents. He...
Today's Joke
A man is walking up the steps to his house when he feels the barrel of a gun against his neck. "Give me your money," the gunman whispered. "You can't do this...
Today's Joke
Rivkah Epstein walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,” Rivkah said. "What's your secret...
Today's Joke
Young Stevie Gold was nearly 12 years old and although he had a lower than average IQ, he was a dutiful and caring son. One day, he was having a chat with...
Today's Joke
One afternoon, Moshe, Dovid, Itzik, and Daniel — four students at Hebrew University — are drinking coffee in Moshe’s room. Suddenly, Moshe puts down his cup...
Today's Joke
A group of 40-year-old buddies – Dovid, Moshe, and Chaim — discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at...
Today's Joke
During an impassioned sermon on reward and punishment and our inevitable death, Rabbi Goldstein said forcefully, "I hate to break it to you but every member...
Today's Joke
Morris goes to the rabbi and says, "I committed an Aveirah and I want to know what I can do to repent." "What was the Aveirah?" the rabbi asked. "It happened...
Today's Joke
Bernie Cohen retires from the New York office of Merrill Lynch after being a broker for 30 years. A friend asks him what he intends to do in retirement....
Today's Joke
Louis Brandeis graduated from the Harvard Law School at age 20 with the highest grade point average in that school’s history and, after other academic...
Today's Joke
An older couple had a son who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path, so...
Today's Joke
Harvey Himmeleman was making his first visit to Israel. He came to Jerusalem and wanted to visit the Kosel but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember what...
Today's Joke
The Ramat Gan Zoo was thrilled with their new acquisition: a kangaroo. They’d never had a kangaroo before so they had to set up a brand new enclosure....
Today's Joke
Shoshana Epstein just received her learner's permit and she offered to drive her parents to shul for the Shiffman bris. After a hair-raising ride, they...
Today's Joke
A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle. At the end of the tour, the guide asks him how he enjoyed it. He admits to being a bit...
Today's Joke
At a training session at a new fire station in the North of Israel, the team was assembled around the fire station’s lunch table. Captain Hadari, the...
Today's Joke
A wealthy Texan had an impressive ranch. He had a huge swimming pool where he kept a shark. The rich Texan loved to throw lavish dinner parties and would...
Today's Joke
The Epsteins were mourning the passing of their beloved grandmother. She always had a soft spot for Chaim, a perpetually unsuccessful businessman in their...
Today's Joke
Unfortunately, crime was increasing in the city of Chelm, so the local population decided to start a police force and they put forward three of their...
Today's Joke
Several centuries ago the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community so...
Today's Joke
Two high school classmates happened to bump into each other on the street after not having seen each other for over 20 years. In the middle of their...
Today's Joke
Sam Goldman was excited for his very first big court case. His client’s wife went missing and being that everyone knew that his client and his wife were in a...
Today's Joke
The principal at Beis Dovid High School, Rabbi Epstein was speaking to his vocal parent body at a meeting that they requested. Rabbi Epstein assured them...
Today's Joke
A mall manager has three spaces to rent, all in a row. A prospective lessee by the name of John Smith shows up and says he wants to rent the space on the...
Today's Joke
A non-Jewish fellow named Brett walked into a Jewish bakery and smelled the fine smell of challah baking and couldn’t resist and had to have one. He brought...
Today's Joke
A Rabbi was giving his weekly sermon on Shabbos during davening. After a considerable amount of time had passed and the Rabbi was still speaking, the...
Today's Joke
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she...
Today's Joke
A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. David, Sam, and Joe get hired. They...
Today's Joke
A collection of funny attorney anecdotes:ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does...
Today's Joke
A man is just about to take a book off the shelf when his cell phone rings. ”Hello,” says the man answering it. ”Hi,” says a high woman’s voice. “This is...
Today's Joke
Two beggars are sitting on the pavement in Ireland . One is holding a large cross and the other a large star of David. Both are holding hats to collect...
Today's Joke
Jose and Carlos are beggars. They beg in different areas of town. Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about $8 or $9 a day....
Today's Joke
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and...
Today's Joke
A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, one of the guides, tripped and...
Today's Joke
A young Navy officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he...