Today's Joke
An elderly golfer paced anxiously up and down outside the emergency room in a hospital near the local Golf Course. Inside, the doctors were operating to...
Today's Joke
My son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I said, "Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the...
Today's Joke
Lawyer: What happened then? Witness: He told me, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.” Lawyer: Did he kill you? Witness: No.Please Daven for the...
Today's Joke
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand...
Today's Joke
An American, a Frenchman, and a Russian were having a conversation about the best feeling ever. The American said, "The best feeling is when you come home...
Today's Joke
I had always prided myself on being an "on time" person. One morning I overslept and rushed around getting ready for work. As I ran out the door, my husband...
Today's Joke
A stockbroker walks past a kid selling lemonade “Hey mister, do you want some lemonade?” a little girl calls to him. The stockbroker is just getting out of...
Today's Joke
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire...
Today's Joke
An elderly man rear ends a young man driving an expensive sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out of his car and confronts the old man. “Look what you did to...
Today's Joke
At two in the morning, the phone rang at the governor's mansion. An aide found himself talking to a local attorney, who insisted that he must speak to the...
Today's Joke
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? New employee: Yes, sir. Boss: We are also keen...
Today's Joke
Two men knock on Rabbi Levi's door. "What can I do for you gentlemen?" said the Rabbi once he opened his door. They explain to him they have an argument and...
Today's Joke
A man was filling out a job application when he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered, “No.” The next question, intended for...
Today's Joke
A criminal lawyer tells the defendant, “I have some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asks the defendant. “The bad news is, your blood is...
Today's Joke
First year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with...
Today's Joke
A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly...
Today's Joke
An old man lived alone in the country. It was spring and he wanted to dig his tomato garden, as he had done every year, but it was very hard work for the...
Today's Joke
A man wins $10 million in the lottery and gets interviewed afterward. The interviewer says, “Congratulations on your win. If you don’t mind my asking, how...
Today's Joke
The son of a Saudi mogul goes to study in Europe. One night, the phone rings at the house of his parents. Dad: "How's your life going, son?" Son: "It's going...
Today's Joke
A local newspaper mistakenly printed an obituary for the town’s oldest practicing lawyer. He called them immediately and threatened to sue unless they...