Today's Joke
A new flood was predicted and nothing could prevent it. In three days, the waters would wipe out the world. The head of Buddhism appeared on worldwide media...
Today's Joke
David Epstein was a wealthy philanthropist in his community and often received visits from those seeking tzedakah at his house. One evening, David received a...
Today's Joke
After 10 years of marriage, Chaim and his wife Rivkah already had 8 kids. When Chaim was forced to move because of his job, he was having a very hard time...
Today's Joke
The New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed Hebronics, as a second language. Backers of the move say the city...
Today's Joke
Freda is getting worried. Her husband Bernie walked out of their house earlier that day and hasn't returned. At 9pm she goes to her local police station to...
Today's Joke
During his sermon one Shabbat morning, Rabbi Lewinsky heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people. It was so distracting that he...
Today's Joke
Morty Applebaum was laying on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son David, the surgeon. Morty said, "David, think of it this way: If...
Today's Joke
Yaakov, a farmer living in Israel's lush Galilee region was giving a tour of his farm to his new mother in law. The newlywed farmer genuinely tried to be...
Today's Joke
Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a chairman position for Microsoft Europe. The 5000 candidates are all assembled in a...
Today's Joke
Chaim Yankel rented a sports car for the day and was speeding down the highway when he was pulled over by a police officer. Chaim Yankel didn't have his seat...
Today's Joke
A group of Israeli university students was taking a criminology course when the instructor told the class about a man who was described as a “mystic” who...
Today's Joke
Congregation Beth Israel was not a wealthy one, so Rabbi Silverman was dependent on his congregants for upkeep and maintenance of the shul. One time he asked...
Today's Joke
Teacher: "Define energy." Johnny: "I don’t remember the complete definition but I remember the last few words." Teacher: "Ok, say the last few words then."...
Today's Joke
When the ice-maker on his refrigerator broke, Shmuel decided to go to Home Depot to find the part to fix it himself. Because the sun was so bright that day...
Today's Joke
Things you shouldn't say to a traffic cop who pulled you over: I can only give you my driver's license if you hold my beer can. Is your gun a 9mm? Wait until...
Today's Joke
Some ways to annoy cops: 1. When he talks to you, act like you're deaf. 2. Does he complain about your speed? Tell him you were too drunk to notice. 3. Touch...
Today's Joke
Little Yitzi Goren was walking home from school in Jerusalem when he came across a police officer who had a dog in the back of his van – a K-9 unit. "Is that...
Today's Joke
Shloimy Shwartz had an adopted son who, at the age of only 14 was 6’1” and was a basketball prodigy. The boy was applying to an elite basketball camp, and a...
Today's Joke
Chaim Yankel and his wife Chaya Mushka lived on a farm in the famed city of Chelm, just yards away from the city of Minsk. Their land had been the subject of...
Today's Joke
One day Chaim Yankel Sapperstein decided that he wanted to learn how to do the laundry. He started with his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the...
Today's Joke
A rabbi and an Imam were discussing the best positions for prayer on a Jerusalem street, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Standing with your feet...
Today's Joke
One sunny day Chaim and Yaakov were driving down the road in Chaim’s car when he suddenly drove right through a red light. Yaakov thought this was a bit odd...
Today's Joke
Little Sammy and Davey were bragging about their fathers to one another. "My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?" "Yes," said...
Today's Joke
For the first time in his life Moshe Gold, a busy jeweler receives a letter telling him he is to be on Jury Duty. On the appointed day, he joins many other...
Today's Joke
Dave and Samantha Levy were on their first trip to Israel. They rented a car, had all of their guidebooks ready and had a full itinerary for their 10 day...
Today's Joke
Rabbi Felder went to his shul office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the parking lot. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be...
Today's Joke
Ira Kantor was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. Ira opened...
Today's Joke
Shmuel Shuster went straight from many years of Yeshiva into college. His parents were concerned that he might not have the necessary background in the...
Today's Joke
An army unit in the Israel Defense Force finished some training exercises and had a little down time before boarding their bus back to their army base. Just...
Today's Joke
Eli couldn’t contain his excitement – this was the first time in his life that he was going to ride an airplane. The plane took off and everything seemed to...
Today's Joke
Dr. Rosenzweig was a knowledgeable medical practitioner but struggled with his bedside manner. One morning, Dr. Rosenzweig walked into his office where one...
Today's Joke
"Our family can trace our ancestry back almost two thousand years to the great Rabbi Akiva," said Moshe Stern to his classmates at recess. Moshe turned to...
Today's Joke
Rabbi Epstein was a particularly tenacious Rabbi and couldn't stand seeing Jewish people getting drunk. So one day he went into a particular tavern...
Today's Joke
Two of Yerushalayim’s most eccentric characters are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now...
Today's Joke
It was Pesach and two Jewish attorneys, Saul and David, who worked downtown met at a food court to have lunch. Saul and David proceeded to produce matzah...
Today's Joke
Rabbi Goldberg was just a couple of months into his new job at Beth Israel Congregation and he decided it was time to visit the shul’s Sunday school. The...
Today's Joke
A man riding an Egged bus in Jerusalem was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, he turned to the man next to him and...
Today's Joke
At a nursing home, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains. "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of...
Today's Joke
Dovid was getting ready for his first day of preschool and was a little bit nervous. Of course his parents were nervous too – their little boy, all grown up....
Today's Joke
Four friends from Yeshiva High School were enrolled in a Talmud studies class at New York University and had all managed to earn A's so far – after all, they...
Today's Joke
A farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open....
Today's Joke
Izzy rings the bell of a very wealthy person's house in New York and when the owner comes to the door, Izzy greets him. "Sholom Aleichem, Mr. Goldstein,”...
Today's Joke
David and Mazal Hadad were proudly sending their son Yossi off to the Israeli army. But they did have one concern: seeing as though this was his first time...
Today's Joke
Shloimie Rothman, a Hatzalah paramedic, was being interviewed by a local Jewish magazine. "What was your most unusual and challenging call?" the reporter...
Today's Joke
Chaim meets Arnold at their social club and asks how Abe's funeral went the other day. "It went OK, Chaim," replied Arnold, "but at the end of the Rabbi's...
Today's Joke
Winter vacation was over and the teacher asked little Moshe Rosenberg about his family trip. "We visited my Bubbie in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher...
Today's Joke
A Kurd enlisted in Hamas and announced that he was ready to be a suicide bomber. They equipped him with a gun, an explosive belt and a cell phone. The Kurd...
Today's Joke
A thief was on trial. Judge: "Did you steal?" Defendant: "Your Honor, please understand that I just happened to be passing by and then..." Judge...
Today's Joke
Moshe applied for a job after being dismissed by his previous employer. "So tell me, Moshe," asked the interviewer, "do you have any other skills you think...
Today's Joke
Three children argue over whose father is faster. The first says, "My father runs 100 meters in 9 seconds." The second says, "My father runs from Jerusalem...