Today's Joke
Some choice in-flight announcements:"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move...
Purim Joke
My dear son, Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. You won’t know the...
Today's Joke
A group of tourists from Israel is visiting many of the famous sites in England. This afternoon, they are visiting Runnymede. Their guide tells the party,...
Today's Joke
Howard Rosenberg was a leading District Attorney in New York known for his work ethic and his wit. He had dedicated over a year to a murder trial that was...
Today's Joke
Miriam Sapperstein had been gaining weight steadily for many years and her doctor recommended that she go on a doctor assisted weight loss program. Every...
Today's Joke
James and his long-suffering wife Sofia are lining up in their local bank when two thiefs run into the bank. Each is wearing a handkerchief around his mouth...
Today's Joke
"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand."If I wasn't under...
Today's Joke
A group of senior IDF military officers were being given a tour at a new high tech military intelligence facility. Itzik, the intelligence officer hosting...
Today's Joke
Two rival businessmen meet in the Warsaw train station. "Where are you going?" says the first man."To Minsk," says the second."To Minsk, eh? What a nerve you...
Today's Joke
Old Morty Epstein was testifying as a witness to an automobile accident. The following exchange took place between Morty and the lawyer:Lawyer: "Did you...
Today's Joke
Moishe Feldman, a young lawyer, decided to go out on his own and open his own law firm.He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques but...
Today's Joke
Heshy and Izzie have breakfast together every morning at the local bagel shop.“You won’t believe what happened to me last night,” says Heshy.“I was so...
Today's Joke
The children at King David Elementary school were lining up for the class picture and their teacher, Rabbi Epstein was trying to persuade them to pose...
Today's Joke
A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop in Israel where Yaakov and his friend Yossi were waiting."Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch...
Today's Joke
John, an engineer, was on a business trip in the Amazon with his company and two coworkers, when they were all captured by a local tribe and were about to be...
Today's Joke
Sometime in the 1970s a shipment of meat arrived in a town in the Soviet Union . The townspeople line up at the town store to wait to be given their rations....
Today's Joke
Robert White's investment business was expanding and as a shrewd and diligent business owner he decided to hire in-house counsel to save some money. He began...
Today's Joke
Tony, a strong young man who worked at a New York construction site, was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of...
Today's Joke
Two men, moderately proficient in Yiddish, were lamenting the fact that there are Yiddish expressions that you can't translate well into English, and that...
Today's Joke
Berel and Schmerel had put on a few too many pounds recently and they realized it was time to do something about it.“That’s it, I’m going on a diet!” Berel...
Today's Joke
Moishe and Miriam Kaplan moved away from the city to a farm as that had always been Miriam’s dream. Moishe was having trouble making ends meet on the farm so...
Today's Joke
Lionel is flying from New York to LA. He boards his plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a heavy, mean-looking, giant of a man sits next...
Today's Joke
In the middle of a concert in Israel, the lead singer asks the audience for some quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in...
Today's Joke
Moishie and Yankie Applebaum, aged five and three, fight too much for their parents' liking. One afternoon, their mother sent them to their rooms yet again...
Today's Joke
Rabbi Weinstein was teaching his 3rd grade class the story of Lot and his wife. Rabbi Weinstein described that when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom she...
Today's Joke
Two old friends met by chance on the street.After chatting for some time one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll...
Today's Joke
The President sat down with his cabinet to discuss a proposal from the prime minister of Israel. "The prime minister wants to challenge you to a game of golf...
Today's Joke
Ethel and Herman Goldstein have a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, Ethel goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells Ethel to tie a...
Today's Joke
David and Shira Stern had a wedding to go to and needed a wedding gift. “Do we really have to shell out more cash for another wedding I don’t want to go to?”...
Today's Joke
Adam woke up suddenly, sweating all over. ”What’s wrong”, asked his wife Chana. ”Are you OK?” “I just dreamed that I died!” responded a shaken Adam. “And it...
Today's Joke
Moshe is taken to hospital for a series of tests and not long after, Doctor Morris enters Moishe's room. "Moshe," says Doctor Morris, "I'm sorry to have to...
Today's Joke
One day, Yaakov is in middle of davening when Arthur, the town "grouch," passes by. "Why in the world are you praying?" asks Arthur. "You're wasting your...
Today's Joke
It was the first day of school. The previous principal had just retired and Rabbi Schwartz the new principal just started. As Rabbi Schwartz made his rounds,...
Today's Joke
After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Chaim Yankel fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer. Several weeks later, he came...
Today's Joke
Late one night David Stern was driving from Tel Aviv to northern Israel and he stopped at a 24 hour gas station that had a makolet to get a freshly-brewed...
Today's Joke
Moishe Wasserman went to the kosher meat restaurant by his house and the head waiter came over and greeted him with a smile. "Good morning sir, may I take...
Today's Joke
One day, Smadar, a waitress at a Yerushalayim restaurant wanted to put her matchmaking skills to the test with one of her regular customers, a man named...
Today's Joke
Dave Rosenberg recently made Aliyah to Israel and was still getting used to the new bureaucracy. One day, he received a very strongly worded "second notice"...
Today's Joke
A rabbi, a priest and a minister are discussing when life begins. The priest says: "In our religion, life begins at conception." The minister says: "We...
Today's Joke
Talia Rosenberg, a young mother was preparing breakfast for her two young sons Moshe and Shmueli, 5 and 3 years old respectively. They were arguing over who...
Today's Joke
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on 92-year-old Moishe Applebaum who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation....
Today's Joke
Little Itzik Goldshmit from Kibbutz Kfar Giladi in Israel was visiting his American cousin who lived in Florida. One day a farmer was driving along the road...
Today's Joke
Rivkah Epstein was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get...
Today's Joke
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Mediterranean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same...
Today's Joke
Moishe and Miriam had been married for 60 years and had no secrets except for one: Miriam kept in her closet a shoe box that she forbade Moishe from ever...
Today's Joke
Itzik Stern is not very well and is taken to a hospital in Yerushalayim. As soon as he arrives, he's checked over by a specialist and is quickly sent to...
Today's Joke
Sally Epstein went to the police station with her friend Channah to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. Sally said,...
Today's Joke
A rabbi was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.The group had surrounded a...
Today's Joke
Einstein dies and goes to heaven, only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry,...
Today's Joke
Shmuel and a couple of his non-Jewish acquaintances from work are playing poker when the police raid the game. Turning to one of the non-Jews, the lead...