Q: What does a book's back cover sound like if you read it out loud underwater?
A: Blurb Blurb Blurb!

Reading is cool and fun and good, even though reading books has apparently fallen out of fashion according to some statistics I've read recently. I presume it hasn't fallen out of fashion among YOU though. I suspect if you're reading this, you're probably someone who likes reading more than your average bear. (Although I hear they're big fans of Salmon Rushdie.)

Not everyone! I had a friend who pinged me just recently to say he read some of my newsletter even though he's not much of a reader. Credit where credit's due: Even most people who like reading don't like it enough to want to read this. (This.) (THIS.) (One of our stupid recurring jokes around the house is, "Let me say this, ... This.") So I always appreciate anyone who makes time for my nonsense.

But generally speaking, I'd be willing to bet that most readers of this newsletter (YOU) read more than the average American, and I'm not sheepish (EWE) about saying that's an evergreen (YEW) observation. It's also a lower bar than ever, because I was shocked to learn just how many books the average American reads annually while researching this week's column:

• A Need To Read

The median American has read just two books in the past year. To be fair to him, it's hard to read when you're stuck in the middle of the highway. But one-third of Americans read no books at all last year, opting instead to read AI-generated Facebook posts, backs of cereal boxes, and an increasingly panicked series of text messages from their friend who has just realized they are at the wrong airport.

This is a shame, because reading offers many benefits. Albeit not the cool kind of benefits like health insurance or having sex. Then again, I have seen some women complaining about not being able to find a man who reads, so you never know, maybe they'll offer health insurance.

Reading is a great source of stress relief, and can offer you a brief respite from the world. Sure, you might prefer to escape the world by leaping through your magical wardrobe to Narnia, but magical wardrobes are expensive and books about them aren't.

Book readers also tend to live a year or two longer than non-readers, although admittedly they probably spend at least that long reading so that probably balances out. And in those later years, book readers are less likely to experience cognitive decline, as long as you don't count the descent into madness when people are still waiting for the next Game of Thrones novel.

and last week’s Banner column:
Top 10 Tips to Beat the Heat: Presidential Edition

DON'T BE MEAN

I didn't just use the median number to kick my column off with a bad pun. In many cases, it's a more representative number than the mean average. I recall reading a Martin Gardner book ("Aha!") in my youth that explained the difference between the mean, median, and mode, three different answers to "what number applies to the average person?"

(I realized I'm about to overexplain this statistical math thing which is a big minus for some people, so if that leaves you nonplussed, feel free to not waste your times with the next section and divide your attention when you could just skip to the following bit which you'll find exponentially less boring.)

HE DID THE MATH (HE DID THE MONSTER MATH)

The mode looks at what's true of the most people, which is great when there's only like 3 options, but once you start dealing with lots of different numbers, the mode can be determined largely by how you group those numbers up. Like, more people read 0 books annually than any other single number. Also more people read 0 books than 1-5 books. But if I grouped it at 1-20 books, that would be the biggest category. So modes always feel dicey to me with grouping since it's easy to manipulate. And meanwhile saying "the average American reads 0 books" also feels wrong, even if it's arguably the mode.

The mean is the arithmetic average where you just add everything up and divide it by the number of people. It's the number that most people default to when you say, "what's the average". It's also often misleading because a few outliers can throw the whole thing out of whack. That's why the US average (mean) income is ~$40k higher than the US median income, because Elon Musk's income last year was over $300 billion. It's basically "Spiders Georg", and in this case those of us who are reading ~50 books a year are Readers Georg bringing up the US average to 8 books a year.

But in many cases, including this bookcase, the median is a more representative number. The median is the absolute middle if you take all numerical responses and arrange them in order. This has the benefit of not being affected by wild outliers at either end of the spectrum, and also doesn't require you to make any grouping judgment calls like the mode. It's the kind of average person where 50% of America reads more than them and 50% reads less, and in this case, that person is reading two books annually.

Yeah, Martin Gardner explained it more succinctly, but he's not writing this newsletter (mainly because he's dead)(well no, mainly because it's my newsletter. plenty of better mathematicians are still alive and also not writing my newsletter.)(heck, some of them may be reading my newsletter.)(although possibly they skipped this section because they knew they knew)(pizza pizza)

WE ARE THE ELITE

Anyway, my point is that the Average American reads just two books a year (and neither of them are mine), and I suspect that most of you, like me (because why else would you read this newsletter), read more than that. Apparently we are in the minority, which explains why whenever you try to find information on the Internet half the time it's likely to be trapped in video format which I hate because I read a whole lot faster than I listen.

It's no secret that I like reading. I even like writing! (As far as you know; just don't ask Debbie how much fun I am when I have a book on deadline.)(You can ask me how much fun I am, and the honest answer is, not that fun.)(I'd say an average of 2.7)(But a median of 3.4)(Depending on what I had for dinner. Obviously on nights when I eat Chinese noodles, I have lots of fun.)(Oops, I forgot what I was going to say in this paragraph.)(I got distracted by food, which only happens always.)(Maybe I should use my noodle instead.)

So I appreciate those of you who, against the larger national trend, continue to read many books on a regular basis. And I appreciate those of you who, even if you don't read a lot, still read this newsletter, which is even more against the larger national trend. (In fairness, these days I am often against the larger national trend.)

THE SMALLER LOCAL TREND

For all the grand ambitions in the world and also in my past, sometimes it's nice to just find your little cozy niche and cozy in and try to enjoy yourself. Even better if you can find other people and enjoy each other. I never manage to get together with friends as often as I mean to (or median to), but time in good company (especially accompanied by good food) is always well spent. May we all have some well-spent time in the coming fortnight.

Meanwhilst as always, I thank you for reading (in general, but mainly this newsletter specifically), will be back in two weeks with another column, and if you only read one book this year, reading just two more will put you ahead of the median American. And another half-dozen will put you ahead of the mean American. And if there’s one group of people we’ve got to beat, it’s the mean Americans.

Never the Mode American,
Seth