Are you bored of Hollywood’s constant regurgitation of old IP? Of yet another familiar title from your childhood — or somebody’s childhood — showing up on screen as something “new”?

Guess what? Hollywood has heard you!

Well, sort of.

Consider this recent story in Variety:

“Don’t Call It a Sequel. Or a Reboot. Or a Remake. Why Certain Words Trigger Hollywood”

Here’s more:

What do you call a movie that takes place after the events of a previous film, features the same characters and has the same creative team?

That’s not the set-up to a joke; it’s a real question that’s plaguing marketing executives at studios. As audiences grow wary of Hollywood’s tendency to revisit and recycle, words like “sequel” and “reboot” have become taboo.

Oh, THE WORDS have become taboo, is that right? The words. Hmm.

Audiences have been trained to think ‘sequel’ means homework.

Because it is.

“People want something new, so when you put a ‘2,’ ‘3’ or ‘4’ in the title, it gets a groan,” says veteran marketing and distribution executive Marc Weinstock, who recently consulted on A24’s “Backrooms” and executive produced “Scary Movie.”

“’Reboot’ just sounds like something was underperforming so we’re going to redo it. ‘Remake’ is the same. People think, ‘Oh, you’re just recycling stuff we’ve seen before.'”

So when there’s a gray area, studios have been testing out new ways of framing a movie in marketing materials.

Orrrrrrr they could just make fewer sequels, reboots and remakes so they don’t have to play this semantics game.

Instead, we’re still treated to a barrage of stories like this: Universal and Imagine Entertainment are developing another version of 2000’s “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” with Jim Carey returning in the title role. They can call it a reblossoming, or perform any other verbal gymnastics for all I care, it’s still a sequel.

Why does Hollywood always seem take the wrong lessons when gauging what audiences actually want?

Other examples

Netflix recently announced a new TV series about a competitive figure skater who falls for a hockey player called “Icebreaker.”

Wishing all parties involved the best. But the skating isn’t why people flocked to “Heated Rivalry” and turned it into an unexpected hit.

But it’s easier to rely on reductive takeaways — the horny hockey show pulled in big numbers for HBO Max, so let’s do a version of that, but straight — instead of understanding, beyond the surface details, why people are so captivated by “Heated Rivalry.”

Similar issues are happening on the film side.

“Backrooms” and “Obsession” are a pair of indie horror movies making big money at the box office. They both come from filmmakers who, until now, had zero Hollywood pedigree. They were ultimate outsiders who have become newly-minted insiders.

Here’s Richard Rushfield of The Ankler on this phenomenon. He mentions another horror film, “Iron Lung,” another indie made on a small budget; it came out in January and has done well at the box office:

Let’s back up, because there are a few reasons these movies have done well. It helps that they are well-made and that the filmmakers already had an established following on YouTube.

But also: The movies are very specifically not based on other shit.

They are not adaptations or remakes. They are original stories. That’s what audiences want.

I guess the necessary disclaimer is that “Backrooms” is based on a web series writer-director Kane Parson initially posted on YouTube. But that’s his original idea — inspired by conversations he saw happening on Reddit — that he then expanded into a feature film. To me, that still counts as original.

But does Hollywood see this and think: Hey, there are all these screenwriters with original scripts we’ve been passing over — too risky! — while we were busy greenlighting IP. What if we go back and see if there’s anything promising in there that can be made on a lower budget? What if we solicit new submissions?

The truth is, not all of those scripts will be good. But that was always true. But development is about taking a mediocre script and finessing it into something entirely watchable.

And yet, that doesn’t appear to the be the focus right now, as lest according to The Hollywood Reporter:

As Hollywood appears poised to pivot to digitally native creatives like Parsons and Obsession director Curry Barker, Reddit is emerging as a focus point (alongside obvious suspects like YouTube and TikTok) for agents and execs seeking the Next Big Thing. Indeed, one agency veteran says that assistants at their agency have identified “a bunch” of subreddits and short stories that they think could lead to compelling ideas.

Someone hold me back! Because a shortage of “compelling ideas” is not — has never been — the problem. Getting someone to greenlight scripts with these ideas is.

Here’s Reddit’s head of marketing:

“We really foster and encourage brands or movie studios or directors to use the tools — organically as well as the paid marketing tools — to drive scale and to get in front of those audiences.”

Note his aside: As well as the paid marketing tools.

I mean, Reddit isn’t stupid. I get why it's encouraging sweatily desperate executives to believe this is some magical solution. That this is where the future the lies.

I’m not saying Reddit isn’t a decent gauge of audience interest right now.

What I am saying is that there are many skilled and talented screenwriters who have scripts ready to go right now (or can get busy writing them) that tick all these boxes: Reasonable budget, original idea, and possibly even a bunch of people on Reddit who would be interested in said story.

“Reddit will save the movies” certainly feels like an excuse. Development executives are supposed to be able develop movies from scratch. That’s the job. Or at least, it was.

We can predict how this might play out. Ideas will be plucked off of Reddit and YouTube and put into development, money will be spent and in some (many?) cases … nothing will come of it.

Because at some fundamental level, you can’t reinvent the wheel.

Audiences will buy tickets if you give them a reason to go to the movies. We want to be bewitched. Or at the very least, treated to competent entertainment. There is no shortcut to that end. Just good old fashioned development and a commitment to making movies.