Postcard 014 - A Selfie
I rarely enjoy being in front of the camera.
That isn't to say I don't like pictures of myself, but I think that in many parts of my life I prefer being a facilitator or supporting character rather than in the spotlight. When I was in a band, I played drums. When I was in theater, I often directed or produced rather than acted. But, I really like this photo for many different things it represents.
On one hand, I look at it and I see growth. For the better part of the last decade plus, I've more or less had a uniform — black skinny jeans (uniqlo) and a black tee (probably Outlier) with Common Projects (either mids or chelsea boots). Jackets were where I really got creative, but even those have a limited range. I'm not going to go into the psychology of why that is, but I will say that looking at this photo and seeing converse, looser Outlier pants, and my new favorite Craig Green overshirt definitely feels like progress. Yes, all these things are still black (aside from the shoes), but finally leaning into other shapes and silhouettes is the kind of progress I'm excited about (feel free to laugh).
The other thing I see in this photo is friendship. There is a plane ticket in my pocket (I have a new appreciation for safari shirts and french chore coats), as I took this photo moments after getting to a hotel in Stockholm to cap off a 20+ hour travel day. I was there for a week of wedding festivities to celebrate people that I've known, lived with, and worked with for over a decade. It was my first time in Sweden, my first time at such an intimate wedding (40 people), and my first time going on a "group vacation" in a long time. I'll remember that week and that wedding for the rest of my life, and when I look at this photo I see the mix of exhaustion and excitement I had for being at the tipping point between the journey to the wedding and the start of the wedding week.
The last thing I see in this photo is someone who, for the first time in a long time, is living a life that he's not just excited about, but proud of. I know that a past version of me in this photo would look very different in a lot of ways, if he even made it to that wedding. Today, I'm very grateful to be that person I see in the photo.