“We couldn’t possibly do anything about the ref being denied a visa. Or whatever it was you’re suggesting with regard to Iran. Yes, yes, we’ve dismissed Balogun’s red card, but that’s only fair, don’t you think? Thank you. Do you have any martinis in glasses made of martinis, by the way? I’d love it if you could get the kitchen working on that. Thank you.

“Sorry? What’s that? What does Belgium have to do with this? Did Belgium get the red card? No? Then why are they complaining? Well, why would we send them any information? It’s not their decision to make; after all, this is about fairness.”