Dear Friend,

Hey there, how’s it going?

I’ve been a program manager for close to a decade now, and while people often comment on how organized and generally helpful I am in keeping the proverbial ball rolling across projects and tracks, I don’t really believe them and usually just laugh it off. Modesty is part of it, sure, but a lot of it comes down to taking good notes (mostly to cover my ass) while being persistently politely obnoxious about reminding people to work on their action items before they (or I) get called out.

And while I’m decent enough at turning this into a career, for the most part I actually can’t plan for shit in my personal life. A big part of that comes down to my inability to commit to decisions and to figure out what I want — a problem I've had since I was old enough to make my own decisions. I don’t tend to jump toward the things or the life I want, instead I just jump away from what I don’t. My decision to attend RIT wasn’t because I fell in love with it (I’d never even visited campus). It was because — and this is me being a teenager — it was the farthest away from my parents at the time. To be fair, RIT also offered the biggest financial aid package, so there’s that too.

Near the end of my college years, my mom got sick, so my dad and I went to Hong Kong to see her for the summer. My dad decided to stay longer to be with her, and so I stayed too. When it came to finding jobs, my approach was less a method than a shotgun blast — spam my resume everywhere and hope something would stick. And I know this is a privilege... that one way or another, things have worked out for me so far even without much planning or decision making.

When I was at IGN, my mentor Scott told me, “You’re not young anymore, so stop hedging your bets and just give yourself a deadline to go for what you want!” It was the best advice I’ve never taken. I just don’t know what I want — I never fucking do — and that’s why grad school isn’t for me, and why I’m paralyzed every time I’m at Safeway, staring at the wall of 78 types of pasta sauce right in front of me.

But credit where credit’s due: I am pretty good at saving money and meeting my financial goals. (That’s how I was able to buy my car in cash, after all.) While I may not be creative enough to dream big and to know what I want, I’m at least boring enough to be super consistent. I don’t have the foggiest idea what my 5- or 10-year plan is, but can I set aside $200 a month for 10 years to save up for a car? Uh, shut up and take my literal money!

I recently heard about a book called The 12 Week Year in a YouTube video, and it sounded intriguing. At its core, it’s just a rebranded take for quarterly planning (or OKR, ugh), like how intermittent fasting is just millennial-speak for skipping breakfast. But the idea of coming up with a goal and then tackling it in just 12 weeks sounds fairly doable. If anything, it reminded me of the 10-week quarter system at RIT, which my nostalgic scatterbrain truly enjoyed.

And coincidentally, there are precisely 12 weeks left in the year. So with this book's guidance and some actual time blocking/dedication, let's see how I can plan my way through the end of this year.

And here's the rest of it…

Thanks for reading this and being with me on this journey. Reply or comment and let me know what’s going on in your world! You can also check out past issues of Dear Friend, here.

In/Out List

Inspired by The Verge, I figured this might be a good way to keep track of my latest and ever-changing interests…

• Out: Listening to one artist per week (during my commute)
• In: Listening to one album per week (Black Parade)

• Out: Sub-“10 minute” YT videos
• In: Longer deep dive videos (What is Democracy?)

• Out: Time-based Interval Run
• In: Distance-based Interval Run

• Out: Schadenfreude for Trump
• In: Schadenfreude for certain musicans

Here’s the rest of it:

• The photos I took this month
• Interesting enough to share but not enough to write about:
  • How I’m Planning a 3-Month Sabbatical (This planning vid is actually helpful)
  • How to rage bait Americans
  • Why This Cyberpunk City is Dying
  • Death Cab for Cutie - Stone Over Water
  • Follow the Money, not names: how “The Party Switch” really worked (PS: I really like her channel in general)
• Don't forget, I’m on Bluesky! Chat with me there!

— Love wins