hey y’all,

i’ve been having trouble writing again. i’m glad that i have a class coming up soon. having structured learning helps hold me accountable. i’m in a strange season of life at the moment, and it has me thinking about patterns. i always struggle to write in the summertime. my body is wound so tightly, and i feel my voice dying in my throat. i get so afraid of what i might say that i don’t say anything at all.

i wrote a piece for labor day, and i couldn’t get myself to publish it. i thought, what if this doesn’t land? what if someone screenshots this and posts it on a secret cancel page? what if, what if, what if?

since i’ve been journaling consistently for the last 2 years, i’ve discovered that my season of slowness is the summer. i just can’t make the words flow, until the calendar turns over to september. it’s entirely somatic. i only ever realize it again in hindsight, when i check the date and see that august is behind me and relief has come.

i haven’t been idle, though, during this writing drought. i have finally stepped away from the non-profit career and am settling into the unknown, a day at a time. i’ve been iterating on my ceramics practice. i’ve been dreaming up what the future might look like, even a year from now. i’m beginning to ask “what if?” in a new and experimental way.

what if it’s okay to iterate in public? what if it takes time for an idea to fully form? what if you tried something? what if you want someone to see your new branding, because you’re proud of it? what do you think will happen if you let someone see the thing you’re proud of?

let’s find out.

xoxo,

kuya von