I’ve always known I don’t like being told what to do. Growing up, peer pressure was never an issue for me. If all my friends decided to jump off a bridge, I’d likely be at home, doing whatever I want to be doing.

There’s a reason I don’t use words like “should” and “need” and “have to” in my work. It’s because my demand avoidance is rampant. If someone tells me I have to watch a popular show, I will likely avoid it for years, if not forever; I won’t know why, or have any logical reason for my resistance, but I will feel extremely justified in my refusal.

There are times when this innate desire for autonomy works in my favor…

I don’t really fear being different or taking risks. I’m pretty good at setting boundaries, and rarely experience FOMO.

I don’t need people to understand or approve of what I’m doing as long as I understand and approve of what I’m doing. I can do what I want. I mean, my entire business is built around doing things your own way — it’s the reason this newsletter is called Rebellious Systems.

The downside, however, is that obligations in life are unavoidable. Even though I am “my own boss,” I still have clients to “answer to.” I am legally required to file my taxes every year. Sometimes there are things I do want to do, but any sense of obligation creates an immovable wall.

And this makes working (and life) really, really difficult. Unnecessarily so.

People assume systems are inherently restrictive. It’s likely why a lot of neurodivergent and creative people avoid building them.

But the systems I’ve built for myself help me create the space and freedom I need to do good work.

I try to make things feel optional, or like I have choices in the midst of an obligation:

• I don’t time block, I let my energy and internal motivation dictate what I work on when

• I don’t set rigid, immovable deadlines for my own launches or internal projects

• I don’t beat myself up for procrastinating or waiting until the last minute to do things; sometimes, it just happens…and if it gets done, well, who cares?

• I do my best to set boundaries and expectations with clients in my contracts and throughout our time together, making compromise and adjustments a little easier

• If something doesn’t feel good and I have the power to change it, I do (which is why I do walk and talk consultations now instead of Zoom calls)

• I don’t hold myself to arbitrary “best practices” when it comes to running a business. I changed my website and color palette twice last year because I wanted to; fuck brand continuity lol

• I give myself permission to create my own intentions/objectives/desired outcomes when it comes to workshops, courses, templates, or coaches

Being this way can be very annoying — for me, and likely for the people closest to me.

Sometimes people are in awe at my ability to unburden myself from obligation.

My behavior has also been labelled as stubborn, confusing, or irritating…

I accept this resistance is part of life; it will likely always be present for me. Fortunately, I have different ways of coping with it — multiple tools in my toolkit that I can choose from. These tools don’t always make it easier, but they can make completing day-to-day tasks possible.

If you’re in need of systems support without the shoulds or have-tos, I’d love to chat with ya. But only if you want to.

Peace, love and workflows,

Andrea