Last month, I wrote about “Discovering Option C” — an embodied choice that led me back to Charlotte, NC this year. I hadn’t intentionally chose the phrase “option C” to reflect the nature of my business/name, Type C, but I will accept and claim that wink from the Universe.

Since then, I’ve been reflecting on how often I find myself at odds with what I want and what I need/feel.

I want to go to that event but I feel tired and need to rest.

I want to take on another project but I already feel overwhelmed and need some spaciousness in my schedule.

I want to move to Iceland and own a farm of mini horses but I need to take care of Kitty and she would very much not appreciate an international flight.

You get the picture…

FOMO or No Go?

Over the weekend, I was faced with a similar dilemma: I wanted to go to my friend’s housewarming party but I felt drained and needed rest.

Now, let me start by saying I am not someone who easily gives in to social obligations or FOMO. I feel like I am too old and my time/energy is too valuable to show up to optional things I genuinely don’t want to go to, even if I momentarily feel like I missed out on something.

This was different. I love this friend. She has shown up for me more times than I can count, and I genuinely wanted to show up for her this weekend. But going to a group social event felt dishonoring to my own needs, and I knew I wasn’t going to show up supportively that night.

So I did what I do best… obsessed over my options anxiously.

The way I saw it, I could: A) Ignore my needs and force myself to show up inauthentically because I want to be a good friend. Or B) Prioritize my mental health and physical needs but be a bad friend to someone who has only ever been a good friend to me. Basically, I could be “selfless” or “selfish.” And either way, I’ll probably end up feeling like shit.

Sometimes ‘Option C’ is saying YES and NO simultaneously

As I was going back and forth about which option I should choose, I thought about a recent post I read by , one that mentioned my story about Option C. (At this point, we’re getting very meta lol):

Chetna Unfolding

A Generative Space Between

When I met my Bansuri (flute) teacher almost a year ago, I promised him and myself that I would remain devoted and diligent with a daily practice. And so far in my journey with Bansuri, I have been. Up until this month… There have been multiple occasions recently when I’ve wanted to bash the windows with her stubborn ass bamboo…

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2 years ago · 15 likes · 6 comments

In it, Chetna writes about the frustration and helplessness that can bubble up when we’re stuck in a cycle of binary thinking.

“There is only Option A, which says this about me, or Option B, which says this about me.”

BUT DON’T FORGET TO EXPLORE OPTION C!!!

Sometimes, option C is rest.

Sometimes, option C is saying “not yet.”

Sometimes, option C is something you won’t know is possible until you ask.

Last weekend, once I gave myself permission to think outside of my anxiety-driven, binary thinking, Option C became really clear — I can say yes to showing up for my friend (and myself) while also saying no to the gathering.

I called my friend to ask if I could stop by earlier in the day to drop off some goodies and catch up while she made party preparations. I was honest about wanting to make time to celebrate her new home and my need to skip the group gathering. She was grateful for the body-doubling and connection, and I was home on the couch by 5pm for a luscious night in.

I found freedom and compassion in the in-between. So can you.

xo Andrea

What part of your life or work could use some ‘Option C’ energy right now?

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