You’re a cat. In space. When you sit on the couch and look out the window, you see planets, moons, stars. Perhaps the streaks of subspace. Inside your quarters, things are much more down to Earth. Your person, an android named Data, is getting dumped. And all you can do is watch from the next room as Lieutenant Jenna D’Sora breaks his sweet li’l positronic net.

In response to season 4, episode 25 “In Theory” I wrote a play about cats and breakups. But before we dive in you should take a moment to enjoy a picture of a cat. Here’s one: