Tuba Tales
So a second play-through of Fiasco, with tuba-playing Salvation Army members, gym bunnies, army buddies and a whole lot of gangs; Russian, Jewish and Turkish. Also features Dr. Fluffenstein. A great playset from Graham Walmsley.
The Cast
Jerome Maskins - A Tuba player with the Salvation Army along with his quiet friend Herbie. Jerome steals from the Salvation Army and uses it as a front whilst pushing cannabis with local criminal Mickey. Between Mickey and Jerome, they are building up their business, funded through breaking and entry to become “respected” drug dealers. Previously humiliated by Russian gangsters when Jerome and Herbie asked for backing, Jerome will now make HIS business better and bigger than the Russians. Herbie, Jerome and Mickey are going to take them DAHN!
Jinx the Bastard - Back from the war, trying to trace down his family with the help of Mickey, allergic to dogs and currently has a trauma support cat to cope with his PTSD called Dr. Fluffenstein.
Mickey - Has fallen in with Jerome as a quick way to make money. Obsessed with finding out if he and his old army buddy Jinx are related, an old photo hints that they are, but who is the other person in the picture?
Herbie - Works with his mate Jerome at the Salvation Army. Has a sort of heart of gold, stealing tinned food from the Salvation Army and using it to feed the felines at the cat rescue home. Believes cats are more deserving of charity than the homeless.
The Set-up
Relationship 1 - Odd:Salvation Army between Jerome and Herbie
- Need 1 - To get revenge... on the Russians who humiliated you
Relationship 2 - Family: Distant relatives who have never met between Herbie and Jinx
- Location 1 - Oddities:Cat rescue home
Relationship 3 - Crime:Small-time housebreakers between Jerome and Mickey
- Object 1 - Unfortunate:Hydroponic cannabis-growing facility
Relationship 4 - Friendship: Army buddies between Mickey and Jinx
- Need 2 - To get some answers... to a question of parentage
Act 1
Scene 1, Jerome - Jerome and Mickey do a heist on the Russian Mafia Boss Fyodor, they bring along Jinx as a lookout. As the heist goes wrong, Fyodor's nephew Anatoly is taken hostage. The group contacts Herbie and he meets them at the cat rescue home where Anatoly goes into anaphylactic shock, due to his cat allergies.
Jinx unaware of his allergies gives him his emotional support cat Dr Fluffenstein but Anatoly panics and knocks Jinx's gun. As Anatolyi passes out, a bullet hits Jerome in the stomach.
Bad outcome - Jerome is shot, Anatoly is dead
Scene 2, Mickey - A flashback, Jerome and Mickey talking about needing more money to pay off Turkish gangsters. The Turks want a cut of their cannabis business. Jerome mentions to Herbie and Mickey about Russian gangsters who are stinking rich. A plan is hatched to pull off a daring heist, stealing cash for the Turks from the Russians. We give Jinx a call for muscle. During the heist, Mickey leaves his bag with gym ID at the Russian’s house.
Good outcome - But our dog a rottweiler half eats the ID card
Scene 3, Jinx the Bastard - A flashback, in the cat rescue home, waiting for the delivery of food from Herbie, Herbie is late, but Jinx helps him when he arrives. As they unload the car, they drop a pallet on the back end of the car, damaging it, a broken tail light. There is also seen by Jinx a tattoo on Herbie, on his lower back, it is a star of David.
Bad outcome - A tattoo the same is the same one that Jinx has, Jinx has been told he will inherit the family business as long as no other family members stand in his way, he thought he was next in line
Scene 4, Herbie - We get into the car and Herbie drives all of us including the dead Russian and a bleeding Jerome to a a motel on the outskirts of town, but the police follow due to a broken tail light
Good outcome - the police turn off, as we lose them in traffic
Scene 5, Jerome - Turning up at a local Vet who buys cannabis from Mickey, they wait at the back door. Jerome is struggling to keep conscious. The Vet comes out and is, as usual, high, we wake him up with some mild violence. The Vet doesn't want to help Jerome.
The Vet gives Jerome a spliff to calm him, Jerome gives the vet a line of coke, they party and then operate and somehow Jerome survives, he leaves the Vet with a cone of shame around his neck and some worming tablets.
Good outcome - Jerome gets fixed up
Scene 6, Mickey - We go and meet the Turks at a snooker hall. We offer the Turkish leader the drugs as a settlement. But the leader wants to know where it came from. He wants more of it. Jerome offers to tell him where the drugs came from, but Herbie says no. Jinx offers him an address where the drugs came from, he passes it to the Turk without the others seeing. The address is Herbie’s.
Good outcome - The Turkish leader believes them when they say they can get more drugs, we party - belly dancers & baklava!
Scene 7, Jinx - Over breakfast Jinx and Herbie discuss their family history and the tattoo, a phone call from an Uncle warns Herbie about Jinx, Jinx is from a rival member of the family and is going to inherit the business. Herbie is fine with that but the Uncle is furious. As Herbie is okay to give up the inheritance Jinx feels guilty about putting the Turks on to Herbie and offers to set up Jerome instead. A plan is needed to get Mickey and Herbie to pin something on Jerome.
Good outcome - Jinx gets the backing of his family and the inheritance
Scene 8, Herbie - Jinx, now the head of the Jewish gang suggests to Herbie to entice the Turks over and Jinx and his new gang will take them out. Herbie tells Jerome about what Jinx is planning, and Jerome says he has his back and will be with him when it happens. Herbie and Jerome escape as the battle breaks out between the two gangs, destroying Herbie's house.
Bad Outcome - Herbie’s house is destroyed, police turn up and start questioning everyone, and they look for Herbie.
The Tilt
Tilt 1 (Herbie) - Guilt: Greed leads to Killing
Tilt 2 (Mickey) - Paranoia: A stranger arrives to settle a score
Act 2
Scene 1, Jerome - Ivan the father of Anatoly grabs Jerome as he and Herbie escape the burning house. "I want the man that killed my son, a little bird says it's you!" Ivan shows Jerome a half-eaten gym ID. Herbie blurts out that it looks like Jinx. Ivan drops Jerome and marches off.
Good outcome - Jerome avoids being killed at the hands of Ivan
Scene 2, Mickey - At the gym Russian gangsters turn up and stake it out, whilst Mickey and Jinx are working out. The gangsters are spotted. As Mickey runs for it he trips Jinx.
Good outcome - Mickey gets away
Scene 3, Jinx - The Russians corner Jinx after he falls and try and compare his face to the half-eaten gym id, they decide it's not the man who killed Anatoly but for wasting their time, they make Jinx swallow the ID. The ID is covered in dog saliva, as Jinx is allergic he goes into shock. Mickey watches this in secret and then runs over, trying to help Jinx. A stern-looking orthodox jew turns up, he pulls a gun on them.
Bad Outcome - Jinx goes into shock
Scene 4, Herbie - Herbie decides to get out of town, but forgets the corpse rotting in the trunk, smelling it as he sits behind the wheel. Herbie takes the corpse back into the house and down into the basement, he starts hacking the nephew into cat food, surrounded by the impatient meowing of cats.
Good Outcome - Herbie doesn’t get caught with the corpse
Scene 5, Jerome - Jerome goes down into the basement, but freaks out seeing Herbie chop up the nephew, so gets out of town, grabbing a bus. On the bus a bunch of drunk soldiers want him to play his tuba (still packed with coke from the heist). Meanwhile, a couple of Turkish mobsters get on, sitting near Jerome, eyeballing him.
Jerome plays, but the sound is terrible, soldiers get annoyed, swearing at him, and they get off. Still playing, Jerome starts to get off too trying to leave the Turkish gangsters behind.
Bad outcome - The coke bursts in the tuba, sending clouds of it around the bus, it's all gone.
Scene 6, Mickey - Flashback, Herbie has told Mickey about setting Ivan the Russian on to him, as they know now they are family. Back to the present day, the orthodox jew hit man tells Mickey the head of their gang is Herbie.
Bad outcome - Outside the gym the Russian mafia is there with a dog, the dog craps out the missing ID card, and they hold up the ID, "Hey it's him!"
Scene 7, Jinx - The hitman and Jinx make it into a different car during a shoot-out with the Russians. They are separated from Mickey, but they'd planned to meet at the cat care home if things went west. At the home, the door is open, and Jinx goes in with the hitman, hearing noises downstairs they descend. Hunched over a bench, they see the cleaver of Herbie rise and fall. Jinx’s cat, Dr. Fluffenstein leaps from Jinx’s arms at Herbie. At the same time, the hitman shoots. Herbie spins around and hits the hitman with a meat cleaver. The bullet from the hitman hits Jinx.
Bad outcome - Jinx is caught in the crossfire
Scene 8, Herbie - Herbie struggles with the dying hitman. Dr Fluffenstein grabs a chopped-up finger attached to it is the ring of the nephew. Mickey enters the basement. Close behind Mickey are Ivan and the Russians. Dr Fuffenstein pads up to Ivan and drops the nephew’s ring and finger in front of him. The hitman pulls out a machine gun, everyone fires at each other.
Bad outcome - Herbie is caught in the gunfire in the basement.
Final Act
Jerome - Overdoses along with all the passengers, the police arrive finding a bus full of dead people covered in white powder.
Mickey - Walks through a hail of bullets unharmed, gets in an armed Russian people carrier outside, eyeing a suitcase full of cash on the seat next to him.
Jinx - With just a minor graze from the gun, Jinx grabs Dr Fluffenstein and stumbles outside getting into the same car as Mickey, "Room for one more?"
Herbie - Also makes it out completely unscathed physically but mentally he's now gone. Many cats died in the crossfire. Herbie swears to kill anyone and everyone who harms cats, and a vicious serial killing spree ensues. An RSPCA record seems to connect all the victims.
Ran on The Raspy Raven Discord on 13th December 2023, thanks to Tom for facilitating and players Jerod, Alistair and Andy