Its too hard (update)

It's been 3 months since I started publishing this newsletter. I've managed to publish 3 articles.

What you may not know is that I started working on this newsletter more than one year ago. That is writing the articles, working on the ideas go much further back. Not only that, but it's the only thing I'm currently doing with my life. It has my full-time dedication outside of self-care. I've pushed away anything that isn't absolutely important for my life or doesn't directly contribute to the project.

When I started publishing in December, I thought I had about 70% of the articles written and that I could publish about once a week, maybe two. All that was left to do was polish the last 30%. I was estimating to have about 10 articles published by now.

The current strategy is unsustainable. I need to relax in my personal life and I need the project to move faster. There's too much to say and to build, and it needs to become personally and economically sustainable.

I wanted the newsletter to feel like a book with tiny digestible capsules of ideas. Something with a smooth, encompassing, and relatable narrative that anyone could pick up and read from the start. This was important because my reasoning builds up progressively and relies on previous insights. And I want it to be accessible to anyone because I belief that some of these ideas can have a positive impact on how we relate to life as human beings.

I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to make the progression of articles that I had in mind and make them short and accessible and interesting and preserve the precision and do it fast enough.

There's an inherent complexity in what I want to say that doesn't fit this format. What I want to expose is hard to communicate, fundamentally technical, touching too many domains. There's no defined community or established language around these ideas. I can't just reference them or assume you know what I'm talking about and still be accurate.

This project can be thought as an endeavor to redefine fundamental concepts. To reshape their boundaries to become expressive of obscure patterns that matter but are escaping us. But no concept or idea lives in a vacuum, they are interdependent. I can't be just present a single one in isolation. I need to batch and redefine them together making the whole thing heavier.

To move forward effectively, I need to pivot. The current stage requires long, dense, technical articles. My life is too hard otherwise.

There are 53 of you subscribed to the newsletter. I know most of you personally. My guess is that you're likely curious about my work but it's not something you're fascinated about. It makes sense. I expected that. I'm very grateful for you giving me your attention. It's the most precious gift in this world we live in, and I don't take your time and mental space for granted.

While I still hope you'll find the upcoming articles engaging, the irony is that I'll be writing for a technical audience. One that I don't have. I don't have a close circle of people invested in the stuff I work on. I've never worked professionally or been involved in academics related to these fields, nor do I have a strong social media presence to get exposure.

This is all ok. It's just the state of things. If the ideas are right, the exposure I need to make this sustainable will come. Nothing I'm doing is worth it if I can't manage to express the core ideas with clarity. This is the focus, and I need to remove any unnecessary load.

The natural outcome of this is that the content will be much less relatable. I hope it wont scare you too much. I'm sorry for that.

I don't think I'll be publishing more often. The articles that are coming are the hardest stuff I've ever written, and the foundational blocks for the rest. And as I mentioned, I need to relax and engage with life outside this world of ideas.