One of the first things to notice in relationship is when you are triggered.

This can be very subtle.

It may not feel like you are defending your Self at all.

You show up explaining. Correcting. Withdrawing. Going silent. Becoming overly certain. Trying to be understood. Trying to fix. Trying to help.

I used to think I was simply being my Self. I had no idea I was defending my Self at the same time.

When I learned to tune into my body, I began to notice some signs.

Breathing fast or holding my breath.

Tightening stomach or rounded shoulders. Incessant thoughts in my head.

Notice what you are aware of.

Simply noticing is a beautiful place to begin. And a good place to return to.

There may be a feeling underneath the defense that quietly wishes to be seen.

But we will not go there just yet.

For now, learn from your body and know when you're triggered.

With love,

Taye