Sycamore Press No. 22: A Bulleted List of Past-Tense Verbs

This e-mail finds me well. Hopefully we’ve been in touch by other means, even if just a little bit, in the latter third of 2025. If not, I hope my protracted silence didn’t set off alarm bells. In many respects, things are as good as they’ve ever been.

We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, so I’m just going to give a rapid-fire recap and get us back on track for a more consistent year of e-mailing:

• First, we have some sad news. In September, we had to say goodbye to sweet chocolate Ande the guinea pig after about 7 wonderful years. He is sorely missed.

Sycamore Press no. 21: Back 2 School

Thanks for bearing with me as I gave myself a little “summer vacation” from the newsletter. Here in the Southwest, the languid enormity of summer is a time for hunkering down more than anything else, and my avoidant tendencies kind of go into overdrive. Now my calendar is populating with work and social events, and the weather is letting up a little bit (after dark at least). I’m starting to see the light at the end of the PhD tunnel too (as one would hope to when starting year five). All this has got me feeling pretty good, so here’s me channeling that energy into an on-time (kind of) newsletter!

General Life Updates

Sycamore Press no. 20: June Things, Mood Swings

Hi again! It’s me. I started writing this back in late June and subsequently got caught up in pre-birthday dread followed closely by post-birthday bliss — not to mention a healthy dose of apartment-cleaning, unpacking, and organizing. Plenty more has happened since then, so forgive me if I end up rambling even longer than usual!

All men live enveloped in whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life.

— [guess what book I still haven’t finished…]

Sycamore Press No. 19: Change of Address

Omg hi!! Briefly, I want to lead with the fact that my physical address has changed. If you've sent a mailpiece my way recently, I should still be able to receive it without issue, but please ask for my new address before sending any new snail mail. Thanks!!

On a related note, I now have a special little corner of my desk area set up which I am using specifically for journaling and writing letters! I am hopeful that this will see my physical mail output increasing (something I'm always talking about but not always executing on particularly well).

Anyway, there's lots I want to say about the move and about this past month in general, so let’s get into it!

Sycamore Press #18: Wakeful Living & Floor Sleeping

Something must be different this time. Hard to say what, but there’s no mistaking it. That something’s changed, I mean. Look at the calendar! When was the last time one of these went out before the month even turned over? (A year — it's been a year since that has happened.)

And, look, sure, it may already be well after midnight EST, but the point stands! Let me have this win! I need a win!

“‘It's like a hole in my life, an eight-year hole. That's what I find interesting in people's lives, the holes, the gaps, sometimes dramatic, but sometimes not dramatic at all. There are catalepsies, or a kind of sleepwalking through a number of years, in most lives. Maybe it's in these holes that movement takes place.’

—Gilles Deleuze, On Philosophy”

—Tumblr User proustiansleep, text post

Sycamore Press April 2025: Back to Basics

In keeping with last year, this is coming out about a week later than I’d hoped. Unlike that time, I mostly owe the delay to, uh, being depressed rather than being on a fun trip. That’s not to say that I haven’t gone on fun trips since we last chatted though! Quite the contrary, in fact. I can’t wait to catch you up on what I’ve been up to lately. Let’s get into it.

“I got so tired of discussing my future
I started avoiding the people I love”

—Jeff Rosenstock, “Nausea”

(Whoa! Kind of a bummer quote this time. Is everything OK? Is there anything else we should be getting into right now?)

Sycamore Press March 2025: what is up you guys sycamore press here back with another newsl⎯

It’s basically a truism that February is the worst month. I don’t even dislike Valentine’s day or any of that, but paying a full month’s rent for 28 stinking days? What a racket.

You won’t be surprised to learn, then, that February 2025 was not the best month for me. But I’m coming out of it with renewed confidence and even getting the newsletter (confusingly referred to as the March newsletter) out more-or-less on time by following my time-honored February mantra: set really low expectations.

“You know what? I’m so sick of doing this whole thing with quotes. It’s such a pain.”

— me

Sycamore Press February 2025: Hey, Let’s Hear It For Music, Am I Right?

For some reason, I thought I was going to start paring these down to be more streamlined and focused. That kind of went out the window this month. Can you blame me? How did they fit so many days in that month anyway? Also, how did they fit so many horrible things in those days?

I’ve been a little on the depressive side this month. But I’ve also been facing up to the things I can change in my own life and just kinda doing my best with the rest. For the most part, this newsletter will detail the highlights of my month. As you’ll see, I have actually experienced quite a few moments of joy already in the new year. Let me tell you a little bit about them.

“That’s so fucked up why would you say that to me”

— My friend and yours Griffin in response to my message about the joys of eating kiwi fruit with the skin on

Sycamore Press 2024 Needlessly Long Year–in–Review Jamboree

I just want to say that I am not legally liable for whatever may have happened this month if you took my advice “don’t even pay rent until you’ve read the newsletter” seriously.

I have a wonderful life. I do pretty much what I want, and the only real problem I ever have is wondering what that is.

— Brian Eno, in the introduction to his published 1995 diary

Sycamore Press December 2024: I Accidentally Left This Part Blank Until Right Before Hitting Send Which I’m Gonna Do Right Nowwwww—

Wow, uh. To say it feels like a long time since the last newsletter is maybe understating it a little. It’s been a crazy month in good and (at times, very) bad ways. I’m happy to have had a restful weekend and to once again have the privilege of writing a little something to you.

It also occurs to me that I’ve been doing this for a full year at this point — pretty much to the day. I can’t tell you how helpful it has been in keeping me sane this year. There are plans for a more fleshed-out year–in–review type piece very soon, but just know that this year has seen me investing more in myself and in my own creative expression than I have since college. For being a part of that, I can only say thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

With that out of the way, let’s get into it!

Sycamore Press November 2024: A Day Late & A Dollar Short

It’s hard to believe that this is the penultimate newsletter of 2024, but here I am shopping online for 2025 planners and lounging in what is finally starting to feel like cool autumn air. As an incredibly eventful October came to a close, I noticed more and more a sense of resolution. Chapters turning over and maybe — if we’re lucky — making way for new beginnings. It’s been tough sometimes, but I feel increasingly as though I have an awful lot to show for it.

There really is a lot to dissect this time around. So, without further ado, let’s … ah, what is it that I usually say at this part?

once—


— Built to Spill, “Big Dipper”

Sycamore Press October 2024: Staying Grounded

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ground this month. Maybe it’s the whirlwind of work and personal activities to juggle, the Sisyphean washing and resoiling of dishes and laundry, or the unrelenting heat. For me, these have all been dizzying, disorienting. In that haze, I want to grasp for something solid and immovable. Something like solid ground. My feet firmly on it — that must mean I’m not upside-down, at least. That perfect tenderness, the way the giant Earth pushes against me, nudging me skyward with just the weight of my body, nothing more. And the cool, stone tile floor. Ahhhh…

I’m actually sitting on the floor as I write this. What, you thought I was speaking figuratively? C’mon, this is a newsletter, not the monthly poetry review! Oh, speaking of the news, it’s been a busy month (and I even have an ~exciting surprise~ to share), so let’s get into it!

The only thing in him that was thinking was the sound of his own shoes echoing in the head that the sun was now tranquilly igniting.

— Clarice Lispector, The Apple in The Dark (transl. Benjamin Moser)

Sycamore Press September 2024: A Stroll to a Stampede

Wow! Things are really picking up now. I’ve been super busy: work-wise, socially, personally, et cetera. This is partly why the news is hitting your mailbox nearly a week into the month of September.

Even though the academic Fall has commenced, summer rages on. That said, I think I’m coping with it reasonably well, besides one point on which I’ll elaborate a little bit later. In fact, we’ve got quite a bit to cover, so let’s get into it! Oh, and sorry in advance for how long and rambly this gets. If I had the time, I would have written you a shorter e-letter, or whatever.

DON’T LET ME DOOWWN
DON’T LET ME DOOOWN

— The Beatles, “Don’t Let Me Down”

Sycamore Press August 2024: Ups and Downs (That’s Just What Life Is, Yeah?)

July seems to whoosh past every year, and July 2024 was no exception. I guess that’s not such a bad thing, given the devilish heat. In contrast to the broader pattern, last week went by remarkably slowly. More on that in a sec.

I am also happy to report that I indeed had a really good 25th birthday thanks in a large part to lovely friends both near and far. I have also found some new ways to amuse myself over the past month, and these have really come in handy. Let’s get into it!

It was a world of constant sunsets
That got progressively longer
Until they were all unifying
Into a slow and constant burn
Each moment a humming sizzle
Drifting in and out of our heads

— Parquet Courts, “Tidal Hisses”

Sycamore Press July 2024: Whoa. Oh… We’re Halfway There??

This is a weird one to write. Already we’re finding ourselves in the latter half of 2024. For me, this realization is just one half of a devastating one-two punch, as I am also turning 25 this Friday. I know it doesn’t really mean as much as we’re tempted to think that it does, but it’s still a scary milestone when so much in my life feels like an unsatisfactory work in progress.

Still, it’s also a birthday, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try to have some fun! I have worked really hard this year, so I think I deserve it. I even consulted the WikiHow article “How to Enjoy Your Birthday” for tips. Plus, it’s on a Friday and, for me, a day off. And you know what? Writing to you all again is kind of a birthday gift in itself. I can’t wait to tell you what I’ve been up to!

“His childhood was dead or lost and with it his soul capable of simple joys and he was drifting amid life like the barren shell of the moon.”*

— James Joyce, Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man

Sycamore Press June 2024: Ever Heard of GNU Emacs???

Well, it finally happened. A couple nights ago I had (to my recollection) my first teeth-falling-out dream. This coalesced with several other factors spurring me to start a dream journal. I have actually been enjoying lots of vivid dreams lately, although that particular experience was a little too vivid for my tastes. At any rate, there’s so much to tell about my experience of the material plane too, so let’s get into it!

Don’t you realize our bodies could fall apart at any second?

— Car Seat Headrest, “Bodys”

Sycamore Press May 2024: Headed in the Right Direction!

The last time I wrote you, I was kind of losing my mind a little bit. Thankfully, that stirred-up mess of thoughts, feelings, and desires has settled down a bit — reduced, crystallized. Now I’ve started to scoop up what’s left and use it to fill a jar labeled “Concrete Life Changes, 2024.” …Wait, what are we even talking about here? Well, whatever — let’s get into it!

“EEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

— Periodical cicadas in the Midwest and Southeastern USA this year (paraphrased)

Sycamore Press April 2024: Better Late Than Never!

I must begin by apologizing for the delay, although many of you will know that this is because I was doing some very rewarding traveling. It was so lovely to see some of the people (including many of you!) and places that have meant so much to me over the years. Now, without further ado, let's get into it!

"I am holding a mystical sphere."

— Steely Dan - Time Out of Mind

General Life Updates

Sycamore Press March 2024: Spring Fever?!

Don't worry -- I haven't fallen ill. But my allergies are acting up, because blossoms and sunshine abound this time of year! If you're still sheltering from the cold, you don't have to be jealous of me for too long. We all know what summer has in store for me here...But enough about the weather anyway! Let's get into it!

"I thought I was going to yawn, so I got ready with a "yawn whenever you want" mouth, and then I sneezed. How could I mistake a sneeze for a yawn? I had opened my mouth too wide, and I heard myself sneezing with a boom like I'd never heard before."

General Life Updates

Sycamore Press February 2024: OK, okay!

Much like the bird clock in our home playing a different bird song each hour of the day, this mailing list has become a grim reminder of the unrelenting passage of time. Still, I am relatively satisfied with how 2024 has gone so far. Let's get into it, a little!

This program is too demanding so I hope that it stays in an eternal sleep. If we must air this program, I can maybe handle it once every six months. The physical, emotional fatigue afterward is comparable to broadcasting a three-hour marathon.

— Kenji Fukui (Announcer, Iron Chef)