Reaping Season
Hey Cult Baddie,
I’m deep in the post-Bali haze, lying on the floor and missing the stillness of it all. I keep thinking about AXEAN Festival 2025 — maybe because it still doesn’t feel real. This year has been a series of unlikely things made possible.
To be seen and supported in that way felt both absurd and quietly moving. I’m trying to hold onto that feeling as we edge into the final stretch of the year.
Welcome to ON MUSINGS: a quarterly space where I share reflections, updates from my music journey, and whatever else is stirring in the season. Think of it as a letter from me to you: an intimate, unholy communion between the artist and the witness.
In this issue:
Current hyperfixation: Alchemised
AXEAN Festival (where I petted a holy cow)
Post-festival songwriting camp
Upcoming release(s?): Aneleh (cowrote & feat. with Luna Carina & Nekane
Merch on sales!
If it isn’t already obvious, I’m a Dramione girlie through and through. I fell into that fanfiction rabbit hole nearly two years ago after a fateful algorithmic push from TikTok’s FYP.
Manacled by SenLinYu was the first fic I picked up and the rest is history. Here I am, still in love with two fictional characters falling in love, over and over again, across timelines and trauma.
Am I deranged? Or just a tragic romantic?
For context, Manacled has since been reborn as a traditionally published novel titled Alchemised. When it dropped (about two weeks ago), I quite literally flung myself to the nearest Kinokuniya and snatched the last signed copy off the shelf.
Now that I’m a little over 200 pages in, and it’s already darker than I dared imagine. I can’t wait to schedule an emotional breakdown for when I finish it. It will be devastatingly exquisite.
If losing yourself in a book feels like stepping into another world, maybe the work I’ve been sowing is its own kind of magic.
They don’t call it reaping season if there weren’t seeds sown first. I suppose I’ve been sowing for years — writing songs, playing shows, doing the quiet kind of work that no one notices.
Now the invitations to perform and collaborate feel like proof. Maybe all that work wasn’t invisible after all.
Being asked to play at Yayasan Sime Darby Arts Festival and Emerge Festival this year was unexpected in the best way. AXEAN Festival in Bali though — that was something else entirely. There was a weight to it I couldn’t quite anticipate.
And then the songwriting camp invitation arrived. I think I just stared at the text for a while.
It didn’t truly hit me until I was panic-checking in at the airport on a long-weekend Friday, spiralling into a near-meltdown thinking hue and I might actually miss our flight because of the massive crowd surge at the counters. The brisk walk to the gate had us sweating like maniacs by the time we arrived.
Fitting, really.
The moment we arrived at Jimbaran Hub, we were met with such welcoming arms. And of course, I was completely awestruck by everyone there. I even bumped into a few familiar faces I’d met earlier this year at Music Lane Festival. It felt like my worlds were colliding in the most high-energy, exhilarating way.
The lineup was impossible to take in all at once. So many sounds, so many hidden gems from across Southeast Asia. I didn’t know most of them before, and yet watching it all unfold felt quietly thrilling. A few stood out - Kiwako Ashimine, Nghich, Bigpom, Xandega, and Naykilla. Granted, I was also trying to keep my nerves in check and mentally prepare for my own set on the second day, so I didn’t manage to catch every act (but the ones I did were unforgettable).
This time, I managed to get Saerah (and Shikin) from Styllar to style my stage outfit. It made a difference. I felt, briefly, like a Queen of Dark Arts risen from the altar when I walked onto the festival grounds. On stage, I moved in a way I hadn’t expected, as if my body had its own plans. It surprised me, and yet it didn’t.
Halfway through the first song the safety pin on my skirt popped, and my skirt was left hanging from my hip. Nothing truly scandalous, but if I’d been wearing granny underpants… well, let’s just say it would have been memorable.
Special shoutout to Hwang, Mun, and Charice for helping me both onstage and backstage. Playing overseas can be a daunting undertaking when you’re on your own, but this time, I wasn’t. And I was so grateful to have a team backing me up to make sure I put my best foot forward.
The weekend’s true highlight? Two cows showed up at our villa after the afterparty. It was a godly hour of 2 a.m. As much as I was dumbfounded, it felt almost spiritual in a predominantly Hindu place.
Then I remembered I’d had a couple of shots at the afterparty, so… maybe I was tripping(?) But one of the cows walked right up to me, and really, who was I to reject the opportunity to pet a cow? In Bali?
The AXEAN Songwriting Camp post-festival was the part I’d been anticipating most. Four days of writing at Lala Panzi Villa, moving between different producers and songwriters every day.
Each day had a different dynamic. My favourite session was actually on the first day with Sam & Tim Marquez (ONE CLICK STRAIGHT), LUSTBASS, and Aldi Haqq. We wrote a song called Pilgrims. It turned out to be something quite spiritually feral, and I know it’s something that’ll resurface again in my future writing, maybe in the form of a longer body of work.
Nightly listening parties by the pool were the ultimate songwriter showdown. To be submerged in that much talent was like baptising myself in sound. Honestly, the whole experience felt like a metaphorical pilgrimage: the reaping after a long, long sowing.
I kept returning to this thought: “There’s a seat waiting for me at tables I haven’t even seen yet.”
Thank you, AXEAN, for having me this year. I left humbled, nourished, and forever changed by the time I packed my bags and boarded the plane home.
There will never be another place like Bali for me.
As usual, before we part ways, I have a few offerings for you as a thank-you for reading my newsletter to the end:
Firstly, a collaborative single called Aneleh with my favourite band from Isle of Wight UK, Luna Carina that’s coming out on Oct 24. This time, I got to cowrite with them as well as Nekane from Spain. If you listen to it closely, you might be able to catch my vocals too. Presave it now and make sure you give it a spin when it comes out.
I mayyy have another single coming out in November. Date TBC. You’ll hear from me once it’s locked.
Merch alert: 15% off everything (tote, pocket mirror, zine), not including postage. If you’re interested, slide into my DM and we’ll get that sorted.
As we step into the final quarter of 2025, I hope you get everything you’ve been quietly manifesting - and then some.
May it be filled with softness, wicked mischief, and sweet, sweet divine intervention 🖤
Your cult leader from the unholy communion,
S.
