Archive • west of the moon. • Buttondown

west of the moon: I'm sorry, it's all about plants.

One very essential thing about me and gardening: I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a lot of plans and ideas and thoughts and principles! Just also the...

vacation notes: poolside blackjack.

Our last night in Mexico, Declan stayed up way past his bedtime playing Uno with some tipsy Midwestern divorcees... wait, maybe I should start this story a...

twenty-two march: a few notes on vacation.

When the plane started to descend through the clouds, I almost started to laugh--from above they were brilliant white, poofed up like cotton, big pillars...

tuesday, thirteen december: irresponsible or unfashionable.

December 13, 2022

So on Sunday I had lunch with an old friend visiting from out of town–we met up at a restaurant in Manhattan, and the whole walk from the subway to the...

sunday, four december: toy soldiers.

December 7, 2022

We went to see the Rockettes once, when I was little. I forget how old I was exactly, but probably eight or nine? We hardly ever came into New York despite...

saturday, three december: five golden rings.

December 4, 2022

Oh, boo, I’m too tired to not be boring, and I hate being boring. Extended-family holiday party this weekend, which we haven’t been able to do for several...

friday, two december: a snail story, part one.

December 3, 2022

This goes back at least to the summer that Declan turned one. It was my first summer at home with him, and at a loss for what to do with a wiggly baby, I...

thursday, one december: holidailies, why not.

December 1, 2022

Today was the kind of day where I woke up tired, creaked around through my morning, bickered with my kid over breakfast,fought with my pants while getting...

viny things and spiky things: twenty-one august

August 22, 2022

For so long, gardening meant just trying to coax anything at all to grow. Our backyard in Greenpoint was essentially bare earth when we moved in--when we saw...

We’re in the Anandapur Theater, waiting for the bird show. He’s already ridden Everest six times today, and he’s agreed to humor me by watching the bird...

friday, one july: the post economy.

Memory is always fuzzy: I think I remember this, the details might be wrong. But what I remember is being at WisCon, at a party one night, maybe the same...

monday, three january: ella quiere acostarse temprano esta noche

January 3, 2022

We go back to school tomorrow--with an extra day at the start and an extra day at the end, this winter break ended up being more like two and a half weeks,...

saturday, one january: lo siento, no estamos disponibles esta semana

January 1, 2022

I have, from time to time, gotten all spun up in my head about “begin as you mean to go on” and all that; in that sense, maybe it’s not great that we all...

friday, thirty-one december: voy a sentirme feliz hoy

December 31, 2021

This morning, stepping out on to the porch to fill the little birdfeeder, I saw some movement in a tree in the neighbor’s yard. It took a second to see past...

monday, one november: the chariot

November 1, 2021

"with a fixed gaze and sure footing, you'll be headed toward all you dream of." --- At some point one has to wonder if there's an irregularity in the card or...

sunday, thirty-one october: ace of cups

November 1, 2021

"aces mark the beginning of exciting new phases .. expect to enter a blissful time of health, joy, and friendship." --- Today I said goodbye to the apartment...

saturday, thirty october: the world

October 30, 2021

"contemplate for a moment the idea of 'being whole' ... close your eyes and envision this radiating energy inside you." --- I said something the other day...

monday, twenty-five october: eight of wands

October 25, 2021

"sudden movement or change ... a card of news, change, or clarity in an unresolved situation." I've had a number of these cards lately--you know, I'm still...

sunday, seventeen october: the chariot

October 17, 2021

"the chariot is your confidence, your will, and your inner warrior. At points in your life when you felt the bliss of achievement and triumph, you were...

sunday, three october: the world

October 4, 2021

(the world: "it signifies completion, harmony, and contentment. It's rare to experience this energy, as we are usually consumed by wanting, needing, and...

tuesday, seven september: the chariot

September 7, 2021

"The Chariot is your confidence, your will, and your inner warrior ... Build a relationship with this part of yourself." What is frustrating me right now,...

monday, six september: the sun

September 6, 2021

The Sun: "Vitality and health abound, while you feel assurance and clarity in all that you do." I would not go quite so far as that, but I do feel better...

friday, twenty-seven august: four of wands

August 27, 2021

“Completion, celebration … your labors have been steady and strong, and the harvest will be plentiful.” It’s cheating, this was yesterday’s card, today’s is...

tuesday, twenty-four august: the hierophant

August 24, 2021

The Hierophant: “You’ve come as far as you can on your own … open your heart and your teacher will soon appear.” So my mom calls, and we talk a little–she...

monday, twenty-three july: the high priestess

August 24, 2021

I was trying to remember this weekend all of the different times this apartment has taken on water. Regularly through the pump drain in the basement floor,...

friday, twenty august: temperance

August 20, 2021

No time to write this morning, I'm getting ready for today's adventure, our final expedition of summer break. I'm attempting to take a nine-year-old to...

thursday, nineteen august: five of pentacles

August 19, 2021

So yesterday, Wednesday afternoon, my mother called. She doesn't lead with "hello" or anything normal. Instead, "Noelle is going to have a memorial for...

wednesday, eighteen august: strength

August 18, 2021

I am definitely in the "what day is it" stage of summer, also known as the part where I've a little bit given up and am just riding it out to the end. It's...

tuesday, seventeen august: six of pentacles

August 17, 2021

For vacation, I downloaded a set of books that I wasn’t sure I was going to like. There’s this romance author, Sarina Bowen, whose books I often like, even...

monday, sixteen august: five of pentacles

August 16, 2021

The first card I drew today looked very sad--it's a drooping rose dropping petals--and I thought, no, don't want that. So I put it back and drew another, the...

saturday, seven august: strength

Today's card: Strength, described as "focus, compassion, self-control" and "mastery of emotions." Well played, tarot deck, well played. There's a sort of...

friday, six august: the hierophant

Continuing what still feels like a statistically-improbable run of major arcana cards, today’s card is The Hierophant. One way to read it: the picture is a...

tuesday, five august: the fool

The picture on the card today is a baby bird perched on a budding branch. The Fool is about beginning, launching out into the world with naive optimism and...

wednesday, four august: eight of pentacles

For Christmas, my mom bought my dad a book about Mob history. He's been reading it a little bit at a time, a chapter here and there. Most recently he read a...

tuesday, three august: son of pentacles

Another very brief one today--my sleep is still sort of off, my shoulder is still sort of strained, and I have to pack up stuff for yet another overnight...

monday, two august: the magician

The Magician again: action action action, bodies in motion, etc. I don’t know if it suits my day, in which I’m taking Dec for a swimming day with...

sunday, one august: ten of swords

(Today’s card is very gloomy and no match for my mood, so I’m ignoring it. Instead, Sunday rambling.) Now that I am forty-five years old and thus An Old...

saturday, thirty-one july: father of pentacles

I told Declan about the squirrels eating the mushrooms yesterday and his first reaction was to wonder if the squirrels were okay, since some mushrooms are...

friday, thirty july: six of pentacles

Twice so far this morning, I’ve seen squirrels in the yard with what seemed like big chunks of food. One ran past the window with something in his mouth that...

thursday, twenty-nine july: father of cups

In other news, I slept really well last night, and I feel like a person again, so that’s good. Today’s card doesn’t feel particularly useful as a writing...

wednesday, twenty-eight july: four of cups

The description for today's card is very direct: it basically says that my life is very good but I don't see it that way, and that I should stop taking my...

tuesday, twenty-seven july: ace of cups

I swept all the little flowers off the patio and paths yesterday, which I think doesn’t reduce the number of bees, it just displaces them. (Relatedly, I...

monday, twenty-six july: four of pentacles

It’s Drunk Bee Season in the backyard. There’s a tree in the neighbor’s yard that drops these little yellow-green flowers. It drops a million of them–in the...

sunday, twenty-five july: the magician

“The Magician is a card of boundless, expansive energy … this card is all about action, action, action.” It’s been inaction on my mind lately, though–this...

saturday, july twenty-four: the moon

Drawing a single tarot card a day is an interesting exercise; drawing a single tarot card on my birthday feels like it’s supposed to Mean Something. We are...

friday, twenty-three july: the lovers

The whole morning routine was disrupted today by the Olympics opening ceremonies, and then there's this cake. There is a reason I prefer to make chocolate...

thursday, twenty-two july: the empress

I swear to you I shuffled this deck. I started to shuffle, then realized a few shuffles in that I was distracted thinking about birthday cake. I’ve always...

wednesday, twenty-one july: the empress

Today’s card looks like a tree on fire, red-tinged in the night. The guidebook says it represents either an actual maternal relationship or “the side of...

tuesday, twenty july: father of swords

I am not sure how it happens, but I’m sitting here at six-thirty on a Tuesday morning, middle of the summer, my only real responsibility today is to go to...

monday, nineteen july: nine of pentacles

The guidebook says that the nine of pentacles represents a “happy, healthy home” and the result of loyal hard work and dedication. Worked at that, haven’t...