Superman: The Man of Steel #5 (November 1991)
Superman: The Man of Steel #5 (November 1991)
Superman gets choked at the movies by Ghost Rider! Actually, I’m lying, that's not Ghost Rider (if you came here from Twitter, you just got clickbait'd). It's a completely different guy called Joe Martin, a crazy film nerd who was present at S.T.A.R. Labs when it blew up (Action #670/Armageddon 2001 #2) and turned into a gritty revamp of his favorite movie serial character: the Atomic Skull. Appropriately, this issue is a widescreen-format double feature: on the left of each page are scenes from the black-and-white Curse of the Atomic Skull serial, while on the right we see Atomic Joe fighting Superman while quoting extensively from the movie. The huge dork.
The stories progress in parallel: while the Atomic Skull mounts a bike with his girlfriend Zelda in the movie, Atomic Joe steals Bibbo’s ride and kidnaps Lois Lane in the real world. Lois is surprised by this turn of events, because she's never seen a Superman comic before.
Joe’s craziness/obsessive fandom leads him to believe that Superman is really the dastardly “Frederick,” a guy in a jetpack who works for the mad scientist who turned the Atomic Skull into a radioactive monster, Dr. Electron. Eventually Joe reaches Electron’s headquarters (actually S.T.A.R. Labs’ ruins) for a final confrontation with the villains (actually some random S.T.A.R. workers). Just as Electron puts a helmet on the Skull’s skull to take away his powers in the film, Professor Hamilton hands Superman a radiation-absorbing rod to do the same thing to Joe. Even Superman thinks that one was a little too convenient.
So, Joe turns back to normal… physically. He still thinks he’s in the movie and proposes to Zelda (actually a fat S.T.A.R. technician) as they take him away, presumably to dump him in a cell forever. That's what he gets for being a dweeb.
Character-Watch:
This version of the Atomic Skull only made a few more appearances, either because A) they were afraid of getting sued by Marvel, or B) they knew they could never top this issue. I'm leaning towards B. As I recall, Joe is more of a straight supervillain in future issues, whereas in this one he’s actually just a deeply, deeply confused dude who is a little too into cosplaying. It’s not exactly a concept that lends itself to a lot of Superman stories, though I’d love to see a solo special where Joe forgets to take his meds while a Jerry Bruckheimer Curse of the Atomic Skull remake is shooting in Hollywood, and hilarity ensues. It’s not too late, DC. Call me.
Plotline-Watch:
The retro section is drawn by Curt Swan, the go-to split-page artist around here, since he also handled the silliest half of Superman #35. Come to think of it, Superman #35 was sort of a precursor to this issue. In that comic the two stories had some parallelisms but still remained separate – this one takes the concept to the next level by playfully connecting the plots, and even having Superman comment on the coincidences. I also like the contrast between Swan’s classic style and Jon Bogdanove’s purely ‘90s energy. This is some Will Eisner shit right there:
This was one of my earliest Superman comics ever, and I can't communicate how stoked I was to find out that the “Dat’s my new bike!” guy was a recurring character with a backstory and everything (sidenote: his previous bike exploded last month in Superman #60). I’d probably seen Bibbo before in later issues I read before this one, but this is how I first noticed him: as some poor biker who had his ride stolen by Ghost Rider. Of course, I had no idea back then that Bibbo was a millionaire and could afford 100 more.
Jimmy Olsen joblessness update: Joe and Lois pass through the printing press of the Daily Star, where Jimmy is “researching an expose” of the terrible working conditions (read: actually living those terrible working conditions, because he’s broke). He manages to snap some photos of the Atomic Skull which surely would have made him rich and famous, but of course the Skull destroys the camera with a power blast. At least Jimbo’s still got the shitty job, right? Nope, he gets fired for being pals with Daily Planet staffers, leading to what’s probably the most depressing final panel in a Superman comic (not featuring Doomsday):
I know this is chronologically impossible, but it’s like Mike Carlin and the Superman team read all my Jimmy-bashing entries in this blog and wrote this whole storyline just for me. I almost feel bad now. Almost.