Superman: The Man of Steel #32 (April 1994)
Superman: The Man of Steel #32 (April 1994)
Bizarro’s World, Part 4! In which Bizarro’s horniness for Lois Lane proves to be his undoing. Superman is taking Bizarro’s inert body back to Metropolis for studying (as seen last issue) when a simple glimpse of Lois makes him spring back into life and rush her for a hug.
After pulling Bizarro away from Lois, Superman loses track of him thanks to his newly “enhanced” powers – his telescopic vision and super hearing are so powerful that whenever he tries to use them, he just sees everything, everywhere, all at once™. Meanwhile, Bizarro sees a couple reconciling when the guy gives the girl a ring, so he naturally reasons that he can make Lois stop shunning him by giving her the biggest ring he can find. He ends up stealing a giant plastic ring display from a jewelry store and offering it to Lois. She's flattered by the romantic gesture, but ultimately turns him down.
Bizarro doesn’t take Lois’ rejection well and ends up fighting Superman again. During the fight, Superman accidentally punches him through a bridge with his super-super-strength, causing a bunch of cars to fall to their doom. Bizarro actually helps Superman save the cars, but he’s so clumsy at being a superhero that he almost crushes some of the drivers to death when he "gently" puts them down. Bizarro doesn’t appreciate this long-haired ruffian criticizing his rescue efforts (especially since it was his fault the bridge broke) and of course they end up punching each other once more.
Luckily, the nerds at Project Cadmus have figured out they can trap Bizarro if they can simply get him to stand between two giant pillars producing some sort of energy field. Now they just need a way to lure him there, and pretty soon they manage to find the perfect bait: Lois Lane in a tight outfit.
By now, Lois has grown fond of the big doofus and feels bad for using his love for her to trap him – especially since he appears to be dying, like all the other clones in Metropolis. Before Cadmus can even try to cure him, though, Lex Luthor Jr. shows up with a court document saying Bizarro is LexCorp property and takes him away to continue his experiments (and see if he can use him to cure himself).
TO BE CONCLUDED!
Plotline-Watch:
Been a while since we've seen Lex Jr. in his Lex-Men armor (which he debuted in the Supergirl and Team Luthor special). In this case, the armor is a convenient way to hide the fact that not only is Lex bald again due to the Clone Plague, but he even lost his beloved red beard in the few hours or so since we last saw him in Action #697.
Speaking of mysterious facial hair, that’s supposed to be Cadmus’ Director Westfield being served the document by armored Lex up there, but since when does he have a mustache?! Was that supposed to be a different character but the script changed? Is Westfield going incognito because he knows the Underworlders have a hit on him? Either way, I demand a Baldy Award for pointing this out.
And speaking of the Underworlders, Professor Hamilton is able to determine that the Clone Plague is based on "environmental" factors (probably that big flood from a while back) and not Cadmus-created germ warfare by studying his sewer mutant pals. That’s pretty much all the same to them, though, since Westfield was the one who flooded their tunnels and presumably got them sick, so it's all Cadmus' fault anyway. Lex, too, now blames Westfield for his disease, so all the pieces are in place for a big war in Metropolis. Should have probably kept your mouth shut, Hambone.
I do like that Hamilton uses his old isolation chamber (from the Bald Jimmy Olsen/Husque storyline) to study the Underworlders.
Another deep cut: this issue features the return of the cabbie with the S-shield logo on his fade cut, first seen in Action $6,50/#650 and then again during "Funeral for a Friend." The logo is barely visible this time, but it’s clearly the same guy… unless that's just a popular style in Metropolis?
On the other hand, as a continuity nerd it has always bugged me that Lucy Lane shows up multiple times in this issue and not once does she comment on the fact that the monster harassing her sister looks just like the one who sacrificed himself to restore her vision back when she was blind. Then again… she WAS blind, so maybe she simply never found out what the original Bizarro looked like? Maybe it was Arnold Schwarzenegger or something in her mind.
Patreon-Watch:
Half of this post was first seen last week by our patrons Aaron, Chris "Ace" Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, and Bol at patreon.com/Superman86to99! Shout out to all of them!
And shout out to the great Don Sparrow, who has lots more to say about this issue after the jump…
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We open with the cover, where Jon Bogdanove makes the Bizarro/Frankenstein connection explicit with a very Frankenstein's Monster-looking Bizarro, complete with lightning. I can't place the exact pose (maybe the scene where he's chained up?) but it definitely has a Boris Karloff feel, at any rate.
Inside, we're in for a sketchier issue than some. As we've noted covering these books, Bogdanove can at times be one of the strongest artists on the roster (“Panic in the Sky” and the “Doomsday!” storyline come to mind) but there are times where his looser, cartoony style becomes perhaps excessively broad and fluid. This is one of the latter, where we get very little in terms of backgrounds throughout, and the figure work seems rushed at times. I will say, all through the issue, Bizarro looks appropriately deteriorated and pained, giving him a more tragic feel in this installment than the previous chapters, which mined the comedy a little more deliberately.
Page 5 has a nicely drawn cape, as Superman catches a train car with some effort, it's a great detail the way the cape twists and folds under his arm.
There's some quality cartooning on page 14, as the child-like Bizarro adopts the posture of a small child who has messed up, after he dumps a pickup truck on top of a sedan.
Guardian in flight always looks great, and it's nice to see the jet-wings from the Doomsday fight used again. The monster movie reference seems to switch from Frankenstein to King Kong a little later in the story, as on page 16, Lois adopts a Fay Wray pose in order to lure Bizarro to her. I am unable to resist pointing out how great Lois looks in her insulated suit, so, predictably, I must mention it.
The splash of Bizarro getting jolted by the containment field is frightening, and Bogdanove and Janke do a great job of a familiar pieta pose (which also recalls the way Lois cradled Superman as he was dying in the Doomsday storyline).
Not much for a "B" storyline here, other than the odd cutaway to Lex Jr. and Happersen--the rest of the story is all devoted to the slugfest, and with all the action, felt like a quick read to me. [Max: That's Dr. Packard, not Dr. Happersen, Don! Unless he got reconstructive surgery after Bizarro fried his face and ended up looking just like Packard?]
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
I think this is the second time that a "Konica-Minolta" camera has instead been called a "Mignola" in these pages, no doubt after Mike Mignola (who would absolutely kill a Bizarro story, come to think of it). [Max: Yep, there was another shout out during the "Spilled Blood" storyline. Co-sign on Bizarro Mignola. I'm shocked that's never happened!
As we noted in previous issues, they play a little loose with Bizarro's level of intelligence. Despite being only a few days old, he seems to have a comedic understanding of not only spelling, but economics, as he presents a "vizza" (which we later learn is a crumpled license plate) to pay for the novelty decorative ring from the jewelry store.
As always, the Simonson and Bogdanove book seems to have the more ethnically diverse Metropolis, as the S & S Diamond Exchange appears to be run by Orthodox Jews, in a nod, perhaps, to the real-world diamantaires of New York City's 47th Street.
Professor Hamilton hanging out with the Underworlders further confuses him with Charlie in my mind, at least at first glance--that's not a great looking coat Ham is sporting.
Whenever I see a taxi with a crumpled front, I can't help but think of the throwaway gag from the early portion of Superman II, when the cabbie smashes into Clark Kent (more or less directly in front of Lois Lane). I wonder if that's the reference here?