Superman #9 (September 1987)
Superman #9 (September 1987)
It’s the Joker. The Joker is in Metropolis, words on the cover. He’s right behind you. This issue starts with the Joker stealing a diamond with a Superman robot that launches poisonous laugh gas and has a nuclear bomb inside. That thing must have cost a fortune, which confirms my theory that the Joker is actually billionaire socialite Bruce Wayne in disguise.
Superman takes the nuclear super-laughbot to space before it blows up, then lands in the Mojave desert. By the time he gets back to Metropolis, the Joker has kidnapped Jimmy Olsen, Lois Lane and Perry White and is making his getaway. However, Superman quickly catches him due to the Joker’s poor understanding of how his X-Ray vision works. As the Joker is being handed to the authorities, Superman asks him why he came to Metropolis and did all this, and the Joker replies: “Ooh, Superman… Why not?”
There’s a second short story in this issue starring Lex Luthor, who offers a random waitress a million dollars in exchange for spending a month as his sex toy. Luthor gives the conflicted waitress ten minutes to decide, but then leaves before the ten minutes are up, messing with her head (which was the idea of his little game all along). It might be the best thing John Byrne has written.
Character-Watch:
Captain Maggie Sawyer appears again in this issue and interacts briefly with a reporter covering the Joker crimes, Toby Raines, who will later become Maggie’s long-time girlfriend. After breaking up with Toby years later, Maggie will move to Gotham City. I mention this because good ol’ Mags has been making headlines lately due to her non-marriage to Batwoman.
Speaking of botched marriages, the Joker will take another vacation to Metropolis nine years later and ruin Superman’s engagement. Seriously.
Plotline-Watch:
Superman Hates Batman: Maggie asks Superman why he doesn’t call Batman to help him catch the Joker, and Superman goes “Ugh, no, hate that guy.” However, in this issue Clark Kent finally opens the unmarked package he got four issues ago and it’s… Ma Kent’s scrapbook of Superman stories (stolen from the Kent farm by Luthor’s goons in Superman #2). Who sent it? Superman will just have to bite his tongue and ask Batman to figure that one out.
Manhunters in Smallville: There’s a page of Lana Lang painting her house in Smallville when a little flying robot comes in, shoots a laser into her eye and then the house is empty. This is a little prelude for the Millennium series, DC’s crossover event of 1988.
WTF-Watch:
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