Superman #89 (May 1994)
Superman #89 (May 1994)
Superman's in space again... again! This time, because he's getting so big that pretty soon he won't even fit on Earth. Last issue, we left the increasingly grotesque Super-Superman strapped to a giant rocket that was taking him to a space station where Dr. Anthony "Big Words" Rodriguez of Project Cadmus is supposed to cure the condition that's turning him into The Hulk But With More Clothes. In this issue we find out that Superman has improbably gotten even bigger. The only thing of his that has shrunk seems to be his vocabulary.
Dr. Rodriguez' idea is to ask Superman to shoot his heat vision into a somewhat "Weapon X"-looking helmet that will safely channel his excess energy into space. Seven hours later, Superman's heat vision is still going, but he STILL looks like a caveman doing Superman cosplay. Eventually, the helmet gives out and Superman's ultra-potent heat vision destroys the entire space station. (Why, it's so potent, it even seems to be coming out of his mouth and chin!)
Superman has to figure out how to save Dr. Rodriguez from the vacuum of space despite the fact that 1) he can't see (he had to wrap some metal around his eyes like a bandana to stop the heat vision), 2) they can't hear each other, and 3) Superman can't even touch the guy without crushing every bone in his body. Eventually, Big Words manages to grab onto Superman's cape and hop on top of him like a big space horsey. Then, Superman has to manage to fly back into Earth's atmosphere without turning Dr. Rodriguez into a flaming skeleton. I'd say that Superman was able to do this by extending his special "aura" so it protected Big Words too, but we all know the real explanation for this scene is "it's comics, shut up."
Once the two have safely landed on Metropolis' bay, there's the small matter of the big, burning space station tumbling down towards Metropolis. That's where Superman's ultra-potent eye lasers finally come in handy, since they allow him to pulverize the whole station with one blast. Hooray! The only problem is that he's still huge and clumsy, and this storyline didn't really progress beyond making him a little bit huge-er. CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
We get a brief update on Lex Luthor Jr.'s health, and it just hit me (almost 30 years after first reading these issues) that his storyline is the complete opposite of Superman's: while Supes gets bigger and stronger, Lex is basically shrinking down and looks like he'll probably disappear into his Professor X hover chair any second now. I like that, despite the deadly clone virus ravaging his body and the fact that he's at war with a powerful government organization, none of that worries him as much as a pesky reporter snooping into his business...
Speaking of which, we find out that Lex has used his hacking abilities to plant ANOTHER wacky headline into the Daily Planet under Lois Lane's byline, although this one is a little more believable than the alien lovechild one: "LEX LUTHOR II IS REALLY ELVIS PRESLEY". On top of that, he also framed her for embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Planet. As a result, publisher Franklin "Frankenstern" Stern forces Perry White to fire Lois. This is a bit of a "You shouldn't have signed it" moment for Lois, as she realizes Lex MUST be behind her misfortunes and she has to "get him" before he gets her.
Regarding this storyline, Don Sparrow says: "Jurgens is generally the most frequent user of the Daily Planet's articles as a story element, and the results are usually mixed (I remember Perry's editorial about generosity at Christmastime way back in Adventures #462 being a particularly unrealistically maudlin piece of journalism--though nowhere near as awful as the "articles" in the Joe Kelly/Joe Casey era--the last page of Action #780 being perhaps the very worst it got) but the idea that a newspaper would go to print with obviously fake, wacky headlines twice really strains credulity, even in a comic book about a solar powered god in a cape. One time, mayyyyyybe, but after that, you can guarantee that the editors and publishers would be allover the printing process for the next issue. I quibble, I know, but it sticks out (as does the idea that Lois Lane would somehow suddenly have access or ability to embezzle hundreds of thousands of dollars). Also,if Lois really had embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars, it would be a matter for the police, not merely HR." I agree that having TWO wacky headlines slip in is completely unrealistic... but they're pretty funny, so I'll give them a pass.
Perry seems to be taking Lois' firing even harder than her. He points out that he's known her since she was a girl, which is true, as we found out during the World of Metropolis miniseries. In fact, he's so distraught over having to fire someone who's "like a daughter" to him that he doesn't even seem to notice the space station blowing up right behind him! Then again, this is Metropolis; they probably see a giant explosion go off in the middle of the city about two or three times a day.
Patreon-Watch:
Fun fact: This post was started on a stolen computer! (As in, one that has since been stolen from me, not one I stole myself.) The main reason I'm getting off my butt and retyping/finishing it now is because we promised monthly posts to our awesome patrons, Aaron, Chris "Ace" Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall,Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Sam, and Bol, who read half of this at the end of May over at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99. If it wasn't for our patrons we'd probably still be at "Reign of the Supermen," so shout out to them!
And now: more from the also awesome Don Sparrow, after the jump:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
Another caveman Superman cover, enhanced by some nice rim lighting. It's interesting that the generally wavy/curly Superman/Fabio hair has become limp and straight for the more Neanderthal Superman. The brush spatter stars here are well done, but the space junk looks a little rushed tome. Kudos for the off-centre UPC, which adds to the chaotic feel of this upside-down cover.Inside we get another look at the dying clone body of Lex Luthor II, notably completely hairless, which is quite a switch for this lion of a man. This scene gives way to a two page spread of our hulking Superman,which is a transformation, even over the last issue.
Super-Caveman's eyes are completely white for much of the story, adding to the inhuman feeling established by the oversized body, and pea-sized head. I do have some logistical questions about how Superman's belt and belt-buckle appear to be stretching proportionately with his body, but--it's comics--so I shouldn't probe too deeply. The tiny fingernails are a nice touch, that help indicate this massive growth was sudden.A little later into the story, Franklin Stern is well-drawn,though I miss the days when artists would hand-draw headlines--this computer text has some perspective issues. The conflict on Perry's face as Stern demands Lois be terminated is well drawn (even if it would be glaringly obvious to an old journo like Perry that Lois is being framed,but more on that later).
The double page spread as Superman's heat vision overwhelms the Newsboy Legion's collection gadget is appropriately explosive. I particularly like the use of grease pencil on the outline of Superman's heat vision. Though perhaps the dialogue on that pages ends something of a mixed message.
Lastly, the bleak, blank expression on Perry as he fires Lois is well-done, though I perhaps might have expected a little more emotion on her face in reaction to the news.
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
The super-team is dangerously close to risking the ire of the notoriously litigious Disney corporation on the credits page, where three overlapping planets create a distinctive silhouette.
I feel like the Elvis Presley connection of the headline is something of a nod to the King-obsessed Perry White on the then-currently-airing Lois and Clark TV show. [Max: I've always felt like it was a callback to that issue they did with all the Elvis-like sightings for the recently "dead" Lex Luthor Sr., Action #668, but it could be both things.]
I absolutely love the character consistency that when a space station suddenly explodes, and he is thrust into the vacuum of space instantaneously, Big Words still takes the time to say "An irreparable breech in the hull? I am at a loss for words." Classic.It must be both fun and challenging for the writer to come up with improbably tangled ways of saying simple things throughout the story.
