Superman #49 (November 1990)
Superman #49 (November 1990)
It’s here: KRISIS OF THE KRIMSON KRYPTONITE! Despite the silly name, which sounds kinda offensive when you strip it down to just the initials (KOKK), this is one of the most important Superman storylines ever. For starters, the scene on the cover actually appears in the comic: Lex Luthor really does beat the crap out of Superman in a fist fight. Or, uh, a fist/lump fight.
This historic moment is possible thanks to a chunk of red kryptonite that Lex gets as a gift from Mr. Mxyzptlk, who is busy in another dimension at the moment but still doesn’t want to miss his quarterly appointment to bust Superman’s balls. According to Myxzptlk, the red K will magically turn Lex into Superman’s physical equal – the only rule (because there’s always a rule) is that Superman can never know that Mxy is involved. After Lex has analyzed the rock to make sure that this type of kryptonite won’t make another part of his body fall off, he follows Mxyzptlk’s instructions and activates it… only to find out the kryptonite won’t give him Superman-like powers, it just gives Superman the powers of an overweight, balding businessman. So, no powers, and possibly asthma.
A fight ensues at Lex’s office and the now powerless Superman loses, partly because he doesn’t know what the hell is going on, and partly because he probably isn’t accustomed to feeling pain in his knuckles when he punches someone. Rather than killing Superman, though, Lex just has him kicked out of his office to make him suffer the indignity of being escorted out of a building by security, which is worse than death.
A crowd surrounds Superman and overwhelms him, but this time he can’t just fly away from their filthy hands. Luckily, a cabbie that Superman once saved (as told in Action $6.50) rescues him from the crowd and gives him a free ride to Clark Kent’s apartment. Does that mean the cabbie now knows that Kent is Superman? Nope, because there is no Superman anymore. THE END.
I mean, TO BE CONTINUED.
Plotline-Watch:
This whole storyline is about Superman suddenly becoming mortal, so appropriately, mortality is a big theme in this issue:
It opens with Lex Luthor stalking Perry White as he visits the grave of his (Lex’s) recently deceased son Jerry. Perry and Alice White’s marriage is going through a rocky moment right now, on account of everything I just said.
Luthor himself, of course, also learned recently that he only has months to live thanks to green kryptonite poisoning, so this is like his last big chance to defeat Superman forever.
Lois Lane tells Clark that she just found out her mom is dying. Remember Luthor secretly made Lois’ mom sick way back in Adventures #424 only to give her the cure, all part of a plan to score with Lois. I guess that now that she’s officially dating Clark, Lex finally gave up on that prospect and stopped giving her free meds.
Non-death related plots:
Lex isn’t the only amputee Superman fights in this issue: there’s also Barrage, the stock villain with an arm cannon who put “Terrible” Turpin in the hospital a while ago. Superman happens to be flying Barrage to Stryker’s Island when he loses his powers and they both end up underwater… at which point Barrage is fished out by Turpin himself. Theirs is truly a rivalry for the ages.
Lotto fever hits Metropolis! The store Barrage hits up is selling tickets for a $20 million jackpot. One of our supporting characters will win that money, and the DC Universe will never be the same again.
Pete Ross apparently traveled all the way from Smallville to Metropolis just to ask Clark if he could start courting Lana Lang… even though Pete already started doing that. Pretty dishonest, Pete. No wonder he becomes a successful politician, folks!
And finally, Mxyzptlk first offered Lex the red kryptonite back during the Superman/Flash race (as thanks for teaching him how to lie), but Luthor thought it was a joke and ignored him. To be fair, red kryptonite was a joke in the old continuity, where it turned Superman into wacky things.
BJ-Watch:
Moving on to more important matters, donsparrow got back to me about the BJ panel in the World’s Finest miniseries: turns out it’s on issue #1, page 35. I see the amorous couple now, Don! I just figured they were innocently making out in the park with their shirts off, since the guy’s pants appear to be fully up (at least in my copy).
Incidentally, this issue also has a BJ panel – as in, a “Byrne, John” one (which is almost as perverted).
