Superman #33 (July 1989)
Superman #33 (July 1989)
Superman’s exile in space takes him to the Korean War. Yes, I know Korea isn’t in space (despite what their splendid propaganda videos would have you believe), but bear with me here.
Last time we saw Superman, he was on his way to Warworld to kick some ass after the events of Adventures #455. Unfortunately, Warworld’s Overseeres decided to pack up and move the mechanical planet elsewhere, and Superman just misses them, so he has to head back to the asteroid where his new pals are staying. His new pals being: a 200,000-year old cosmic preacher called Cleric, Blurpy the Cellkeeper (now unemployed, since Warworld left him behind) and the egg-looking Kryptonian relic known as the Eradicator.
Since Superman is still pretty bummed about the problems that made him decide to go on this space exile in the first place, the Eradicator uses its vaguely-defined powers to send him and Cleric on a soul journey across some of the worst moments in their lives – for Cleric that’s the day when he inadvertently caused the death of thousands of old-timey Kryptonians in a spaceship (as seen in Action Annual #2), and for Superman it’s the day he fought Bloodsport, of all times, because of that creepy scene where he walks into a diner and everyone is dead (in Superman #4).
Superman feels upset about not being able to save those people, so Cleric tells him to relax and think of his dad. That’s what takes us to the Korean War, where a young Jonathan Kent was a soldier as related in World of Smallville #1 (meanwhile, Cleric is like “No, your other dad!”). Jonathan too feels bad about killing enemy soldiers; it’s a self-pity party all over. Finally Superman is forced to relive the events of Superman #22, when he killed the alternate-dimension Kryptonian criminals, and he swears never to take another life. Cleric convinces Superman he must return to Earth and be a champion of life.
Cleric formally passes on the Eradicator to Superman, then promptly drops dead, because it turns out it was the egg relic what was keeping him alive for all those millennia. Superman buries Cleric in a grave with the S-logo (which is kinda egocentric, but whatever) and sets off for Earth.
Beard-Watch:
Oh, but before that, Superman’s first official act with the ancient relic of his ancestors is to… use it to shave his beard.
Good-bye, sweet beard. I’ll miss you.
Plotline-Watch:
Hey, what happened to that Draaga guy who was so desperate to fight Superman again and die in his hands? Nothing. The Overseers name him the new ruler of Warworld, then say “You can’t fight Superman because we’re leaving” and he’s like “Oh, OK.” Eventually he’ll realize “Wait, no, this sucks” and go after Supes.
Brainiac appears again, looking somewhat slimmer because Luthor’s doctors Happersen and Kelley are still keeping him in a coma and feeding him through an IV. He’s also still wearing the same clothes he had months ago, which are probably pretty stinky by now. Brainiac is now fully plugged into the special lab LexCorp acquired in the “Hostile Takeover!” story, and Luthor can’t wait to start poking around his brain.
Clark Kent’s co-workers are convinced that he must have hit his head or something and that’s why he’s acting so strange, but no, he’s just a dumb shapeshifter called Matrix who used to be Supergirl and is now posing as Clark (it’s a long story). Since Matrix/Clark probably can’t even spell, Perry White tells Lois Lane to finish Clark’s story about Intergang, using Cat Grant’s “intimate” knowledge of Intergang leader Morgan Edge.
WTF-Watch:
We finally learn Superman’s rationale for killing the Kryptonian criminals instead of taking them back to Earth and arresting them in Superman #22:
I’m pretty sure that if Superman told the cops (or the Justice League or whoever) “These people are really dangerous, lock them away forever,” they’d say “Sure thing!” Failing that, he could have just bribed some officials and dropped them in a Mexican prison or something.
See comments on Tumblr: https://superman86to99.tumblr.com/post/77836978279/superman-33-july-1989-supermans-exile-in#disqus_thread
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