Superman #30 (April 1989)
Superman #30 (April 1989)
In this issue, Superman becomes a space farmer. Not in the “someone who farms actual space” sense, but in the more mundane “someone who farms crops and lives in space” one.
Continuing his self-imposed space exile, Superman finds a quiet little planet populated by nothing but prairies, and since prairies won’t judge you if you go crazy and start dressing up as Gangbuster, he decides to settle down there. The planet is basically a giant version of the Kent farm, but without the farm. Superman starts working on fixing that by creating a massive crop on this land – he even sets up a little Flintstones-style adobe home to chill at night. And then, after Superman has spent two weeks lovingly working on his farm planet, a giant typhoon comes along and just fucking destroys everything. The whole crop and even the little Flintstones house. Superman flies off to space and takes out his frustation on some innocent meteor rocks (as seen in the cover), not noticing that his breathing aparatus was damaged by the typhoon and is leaking air…
Bonus Story!
There’s a second feature starring Lex Luthor in an adventure titled “Hostile Takeover!” It’s basically that: Luthor trying to take over another company using shady business tactics. As seen in Adventures #452, Lex has been feeling rather down because his biggest enemy went off to space without even saying good-bye, so in this issue he decides to inject some excitement into his life by messing with LexCorp’s rival tech company S.T.A.R. Labs. This thrilling tale (written by Roger Stern and with art by Dan Jurgens) will continue over the next issues of Superman and Adventures.
Plotline-Watch:
Meanwhile, in the real Kent farm, Ma and Pa Kent’s new adopted alien, Matrix/Supergirl, overhears them talking about how they wish Clark was here with them. To reiterate, Matrix is a mentally unstable super-being who has been staying in Clark’s old room, being raised by Clark’s parents, staring at Clark’s pictures, and according to this issue, has even been reading the same books Clark read as a kid. Oh, and she has shape-shifting abilities.
During the Luthor story we get an update on Brainiac’s situation: he’s still stuffed in a LexCorp closet, more or less, and being kept in an artificial coma so that he doesn’t bug Lex anymore. Hopefully they’ve at least got someone (Dr. Happersen?) changing his diapers.
WTF-Watch:
I’m consolidating this issue’s Beard-Watch section into the WTF-Watch one, because this is just baffling and inexcusable. Here’s what Superman’s beard looked like before he spent those two weeks farming:
And here’s where it was two weeks later:
It’s the same beard! What the hell is going on here? Is Superman trimming his beard in space, in a place with no reflective surfaces whatsoever? Do Kryptonian beards grow at a slower pace than human ones? Does the farm planet exist in some sort of temporal pocket where time flows more slowly? Whatever the explanation is, I feel like we’re being swindled out of some beard growth, and that cannot be.