Superman #28 (February 1989)
Superman #28 (February 1989)
Superman’s in space. Superman’s in spa-a-ace. Whatcha doin’ out there man?
Anyway, um, in Adventures #450 Superman decided to immediately exile himself to outer space in light of his recent mental issues. And by “immediately,” I mean “after fulfilling his contractual obligations by appearing in DC’s Invasion! crossover.” So, in Invasion! #3 we see Superman helping fight the last alien invaders and picking up a convenient teleporter from a member of the Omega Men, and then he really does fly off into the empty vastness. Incidentally, how great is Kerry Gammill? Pretty great.
Superman spends most of the issue jumping around with the teleporter, searching for a quiet place where he can settle down and cultivate his beard. First he arrives on a desolated planet, which is no good because it reminds him of the Pocket Universe Earth where he killed those bad guys, and that’s exactly what he’s trying to forget. The teleporter then dickishly dumps him right next to a sun, and he barely manages to escape its gravitational pull. Finally, he arrives on a perfectly nice planet with breathable air where he could see himself staying.
Superman’s musings are interrupted when he spots a falling aircraft populated by vaguely ET-looking pink beings. Superman saves the craft and is surrounded by more of the local aliens trying to touch him and get him to sign licensing deals, in a repeat of the scene from Man of Steel #1 when he saved that shuttle Lois Lane was in. Superman decides to leave that planet, because if he becomes a hero for the pink ET-people too, then logically history would repeat itself and two years later he would end up having a mental breakdown and beating people with nunchakus. (He would also make a porno tape with one of them at some point.)
Beard-Watch:
It’s coming along pretty nicely.
Plotline-Watch:
Back on Earth, Perry White gets the first part of Clark Kent’s expose of Intergang (Superman left the entire story to Ma Kent so she’d send it to Perry in parts), and it’s a doozy. The story is published and Intergang boss-man Morgan Edge freaks out so much that he immediatelly tells his murder specialist, Gillespie, to whack Clark Kent.
Of course, Clark Kent can’t be whacked because he’s in outer space (also he’s indestructible). Unfortunately, the dude who has been stalking Clark since Adventures #448, Matt “Not Gangbuster” Stockton, happens to pick this day to break into Clark’s apartment and take a look. Just at that moment, Intergang’s goons come in and kill the guy, thinking he’s Kent. Whoops.
We also get a short scene where Lex Luthor asks his multipurpose medic person, Dr. Gretchen Kelley, to keep Brainiac sedated because the guy is a pain in the ass (Brainy’s been catatonic since last issue). Just at that moment, Brainiac wakes up and groggily tells Luthor that he can’t feel Superman’s mind anymore. Surely without Superman around to try to kill, Lex will use his time for more productive things now.
WTF-Watch:
Every single time Morgan Edge appears, and I mean literally every single time (but don’t look it up because I’m probably exaggerating), we see him discussing some sensitive issue on the secret monitor in his desk (in this case: whacking Clark Kent), when an attractive woman (in this case: Cat Grant) comes in and he has to hide the monitor quickly.
I bet he used to say “MOM, NO! DON’T LOOK!” a lot as a teenager.
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