Superman #14 (February 1988)
Superman #14 (February 1988)
Now we are balls deep into the Millennium crossover, which is an appropriate metaphor because this issue is all about poontang. More specifically, little blue men from space making poontang. Let’s move on, assuming there’s anyone left reading this after that sentence.
In Millennium #6, Superman and fifty other superheroes fought the grand master of the Manhunters, a big robot called Grandmaster, who at the end of the fight fled into another dimension where the Zamarons (a race of noble female warriors) and the Guardians of the Universe (the aforementioned little blue men from space) are “creating” a new breed of immortals. Superman and Green Lantern are sent to this dimension to stop the Grandmaster – when they get there, they find the Guardians’ and Zamarons’ clothes scattered on the ground. For a second Green Lantern thinks this means the Grandmaster killed all of them, but then he realizes the truth is even more horrible: they took off their clothes because they’re basically having a massive amazon/dwarf orgy. This place is basically their motel (Superman’s words).
The completely naked Guardians and Zamarons are floating in the air in a circular fashion and holding hands, which is apparently how their races mate. The Grandmaster tries to kill them, but Superman and Green Lantern kill him instead. They then have to rush back to Earth, because somehow there are still two more issues of Millennium left.
Plotline-Watch:
It’s kind of weird that the main villain of the Millennium crossover got killed off in a tie-in issue like this one instead of the main series. My theory is that John Byrne heard the final fight would involve interrupting the Guardians’ lovemaking session and he said “Me! Me! I’ll do that part! I’ll do it for free!”
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