Adventures of Superman Annual #3 (1991)
Adventures of Superman Annual #3 (1991)
Lois Lane dies, and Superman mourns her by making out with the villainess Maxima! Not literally on top of Lois’ grave, like this cover shows, but yes, they do make out. Also, all of this happens in a possible future. I probably should have started with that.
Waverider, the voyeuristic time traveler who likes peeking into superhero’s futures, visits Clark Kent for the third time (we already saw him in Superman Annual #2 and Action Comics Annual #2) to make double-extra-sure Supes isn’t destined to become the evil Monarch. (Supposedly. I think at this point, Waverider is just spying on people for kicks.) In this particular future, Superman and Lois Lane get married and she becomes pregnant with his child. Wait, can humans have kids with Kryptonians? Apparently not, because this happens:
Yep, the super-baby super-kicks Lois’ stomach and kills her and him/herself, which, holy crap, is a dark plot twist. Superman is so sad that he exiles himself to outer space, his standard reaction whenever he’s responsible for someone’s death. After being a space vagrant for a while, Superman becomes the victim of a drive by when some asshole aliens shoot him from their spaceship. Fortunately, another ship saves him – unfortunately, it’s occupied by Maxima, the telepathic space queen who hates Superman for repeatedly rebuffing her advances. However, Maxima’s hatred melts away once she remembers how hot Superman is.
With the help of her three-eyed servant, Sazu, Maxima devises a plan to make Superman fall for her by pretending to be “weak” like him. This doesn’t go so well at first (she throws a throne at him), but eventually Superman starts falling for her, and she actually starts liking not being a jerk all the time. Sazu tries to “help” them by convincing another of Maxima’s suitors, a spider-legged cyborg called De'cine, to destroy the Earth – her logic being that Superman won’t have a place to go back to and will settle comfortably in Maxima’s bosom.
That plan might have worked, if Superman hadn’t decided to take a short vacation to Earth just when De'cine was starting to attack the planet. Superman prevents the catastrophe with Maxima’s help (actually, it’s mostly Maxima) and we get the promised make out session, but then De'cine ruins the moment by opening his big mouth:
Like in every ‘80s romantic comedy ever, Maxima comes clean about her stupid “plan” and admits what Sazu did, but Superman forgives her. Since Superman can’t come back to Earth now that De'cine’s entire galactic empire hates him for killing their boss, he decides to stay with Maxima and fight evil cyborg spider people together.
Character-Watch:
Don Sparrow says: “This is the first attempt at humanizing the villainous Maxima a little. She’s much more sympathetic in this story, and it paves the way for her role in [SPOILERS], and ultimately [SPOILERS] (and to a lesser extent, the plainly awful [SPOILERS]).” I agree: in her first two appearances Maxima didn’t seem to have any redeeming qualities besides her looks (“she” even kills a guy on her very first scene), but in this issue we find out that she’s not really that terrible of a ruler, throne-throwing tantrums aside. Oddly enough it’s losing her throne what eventually makes her turn good.
Plotline-Watch:
This is the last Armageddon 2001 crossover annual for Superman: Waverider declares that he’s finally sure Superman can’t be Monarch, probably because he finally got to see some boobies in one of his futures (see Art-Watch below for evidence). The climax of that event was published shortly after this issue, and we’ll see the fallout in the next Action.
When Superman re-exiles himself, he uses the same breathing belt Professor Hamilton gave him in Adventures #450, and almost immediately grows back his space-beard. Very good, I like consistency. Too bad Maxima shaved the beard while he was unconscious.
The most bizarre difference in this alternate future isn’t Superman ending up with Maxima – it’s that, somehow, both Perry White and his shoddy replacement Sam Foswell are seen working at the Daily Planet at the same time (Jimmy’s there too, while we’re at it). That’s… not how things will turn out for poor Sam.
Also, I know that’s a DC Comics staffer on the left there, but I’m not sure who. Len Wein?
For more commentary from Don Sparrow, and more awesome Bryan Hitch art (yeah, 20-year old Hitch drew this issue!), click “Keep Reading”:
Art-Watch (by donsparrow):
This is a fascinating issue, starting with the old school, what-the-heck? cover with Superman and Maxima clinching on the grave of his beloved.This issue is also the first time I saw the work of one of my top three favourite artists of all time, Bryan Hitch. (For you scoring at home, the other two are Tom Grummett and Jerry Ordway, with Dan Jurgens and Gary Frank close behind these three) While Hitch’s style in this era is a little looser, slicker and a lot more reminiscent of Alan Davis, it’s still pretty amazing. Had Bryan Hitch’s style not developed into what it is (pretty much THE most realistic drawing this side of Alex Ross) I think he’d still be a name in comics, based on his work in this issue.
The first thing that jumped out at me came right on page one. As a Jerry Ordway lifer, I have a lot of his work committed to memory, particularly his early stuff which I would read again and again. So when I saw the first panel of page one, I knew I’d seen a similar pose before. I did some digging, and found that Hitch was creating an homage to the cover to Adventures of Superman #449. Not at all surprising that he’d tribute Jerry in this way,as Bryan Hitch often heaps praise on Ordway on his twitter feed, as all comics lovers should.
Moving onto the issue itself, there’s lots to like, and one thing I hate, but I’ll get to that. Hitch’s Clark Kent is very nerdy, and the sheer size of his glasses (seemingly from the same optical store where Reuben Tishkoff and George Burns got theirs) really helps distance him from Superman in people’s minds. He really excels at drawing Lois, though, who is beautiful and sassy throughout. This seems as good a time as any to point out that this issue is probably the sexiest Superman comic ever seen up to this point. From Lois’ towel and bathrobe that just barely covers her in the married bliss of page 7…
To Maxima’s endless array of underboob revealing loungewear (pg 23, 29–is her costume actually shrinking?)…
To page 37 where she stops wearing clothes altogether…
To her bizarre look on page 39 (I’m guessing Almerac’s chief export is double sided adhesive tape)…
This is a lot of skin for a Superman comic, tame as it might be by today’s standards. [Max: I took the liberty to compile all the examples Don mentioned. Hope no one minds.] Even Superman gets into the act with his Prince Adam-looking Purple and Pink ensemble with a V so deep American Apparel wouldn’t touch it (above).
Titillation aside, this issue is mainly famous for one scene (drawn with quiet tragedy on page 10), which seems to suggest that Lois Lane (or any human) carrying Superman’s child wouldn’t be able to withstand a Kryptonian baby. This has always bugged me, as people often point to it as a reason that the regal (if icy) Wonder Woman is a better match for Superman, or even just to explain why Superman could never have a child, period. Which is why I have to explain–
WHY THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN:
The issue’s writer, Louise Simonson does give us a small out, as, at the funeral (pg 13) Pa Kent has a throwaway line about this particular combination of their genetics being the reason things went badly.But I think I can take it even further than that. According to the Man of Steel miniseries, Clark’s powers didn’t really start to kick in until puberty, and even then they developed slowly (the Smallville TV series did a good job of this, where in season one,gunfire leaves him with deep bruises, but by season three, he’s walking away from explosions) over time. He did seem to be, for the most part, invulnerable (surviving being trampled by a bull with nothing more than a scare) when he was in grade school, but that really does appear to be the limits of his powers at a young age. We really have no indication, from the John Byrne origin, that he was anything special as a baby, besides not getting colds or flus.
Besides that, this child is only HALF Kryptonian, so,Pa’s comment about combinations aside, it stands to reason that the child would be, at best, only half as powerful as Superman once fully grown–and again, the fully Kryptonian Superman didn’t seem to have any super kicking ability that we’ve seen at a young age, much less in utero. Lastly, It’s been established over and over that the yellow sun of Earth is the reason for Superman’s abilities. Lois’ baby has never been exposed to direct sunlight, so it really shouldn’t have any special powers that would do Lois damage internally. So to me, the whole thing is–to use a 1991 expression–totally bogus. [Max: Or, maybe Lois died in a regular miscarriage, and Superman just blames himself for it because he likes blaming himself for stuff. Incidentally, I’m curious to see how Dan Jurgens will handle this problem in his upcoming Superman: Convergence issues, which feature a pregnant Lois.]
Other notes:
De'Cine’s robots look strangely Kryptonian (et tu, Kelex?).
All the space stuff shows glimpses of Hitch’s unparalleled spacecraft/technology design which would become a staple of his runs on Stormwatch, JLA and the Ultimates.
The cutely named Seegel disruptors are used on page 47–isn’t any anti-Superman weapon technically a Siegel–I mean Seegel disruptor?
GODWATCH: Hard to tell if it’s a Catholic or Protestant ceremony on page 6, but that’s definitely a cross.
The “techno-shrapnel” threatening Superman’s heart on page 17 reminds me of Iron Man, though to my knowledge Tony Stark never wore purple and pink silk. Nor would he have ever put off Maxima, come to think of it.
Where are all the other wedding guests? Are Lois’ parents both dead by 2001? [Max: They may not have been invited to the wedding, but I see Ella, Lucy and Sam Lane to Clark’s left on the funeral.]
I know he’s in the early stages of mourning both his wife and child, but Superman’s a bit cold to his parents at the funeral. "I’m so alone! There’s nothing left on Earth for me! Not even one relationship that would keep me here, even for a little while! I have no family whatsoever, because I don’t have any children! So long, suckers!“
In the very unlikely event that Bryan Hitch or Dan DiDio or both happens to read this: Please, please, please put Bryan Hitch on a Superman title. And me on the other. [Max: Agreed on both counts. I’ll write both books if you want.]