Adventures of Superman #509 (February 1994)
Adventures of Superman #509 (February 1994)
Introducing Massacre and de-introducing Auron! Because he dies in this issue (I’d say “spoilers!” but we all know that if a cover has the words “final fate” in it, someone’s definitely dying). If you don’t remember Auron, he’s the flying, metal-skinned clone of Project Cadmus’ Guardian who first appeared back when Superman was dead and Cadmus was trying to clone him. That story ended with Auron flying off into space with a copy of Superman’s DNA information inside his jetpack/computer to make sure no one can clone him and soil his legacy. In this issue, we meet Auron again as he’s getting crap beaten out of him by some big red sociopath called Massacre, who just likes going around the cosmos picking fights with people.
Massacre leaves Auron for dead in what appears to be the ruins of an alien strip bar. Luckily, Superman happens to stumble upon the very same bar while lost in space after his recent fight with Lobo. Despite never meeting Auron before, Superman offers him a friendly hand and proposes joining forces to find whoever wrecked the strip joint, but obviously they can’t do that yet: first they have to fight among themselves for a while, because those are the rules of superhero team-ups (and also because otherwise, the cover would be misleading).
Once Superman convinces Auron that he’s the real steel deal, they go looking for Massacre and find him as he’s Massacre-ing some more aliens. Massacre is actually pretty stoked to meet Superman, since he’s a celebrity all over the universe (probably thanks to the time he toppled Mongul) and being the one to re-kill him would boost Massacre’s reputation. Superman and Massacre seem to be pretty even, and when Auron is like “hey, uh, I’m here too,” Massacre easily kills him just so he’ll stop distracting him.
Massacre decides that fighting on Earth would be more interesting than fighting on some random asteroid, so he leaves, promising that the next time they meet it’ll be on Superman’s home turf… and also that he’ll kill all of Superman’s friends while at it (may I suggest starting with the one with the bowtie?). As for Auron, he uses his dying breath to ask Superman to destroy his body, no doubt hoping to prevent the Kryptonian DNA from falling into the wrong hands. Superman is like “no, you deserve a dignified end” and buries Auron in this asteroid… which is immediately dug up by a little alien who follows Massacre around to loot the trash he leaves behind. So dignified.
The issue ends with the little alien telling this whole story to the space barman at a space bar, then offering Auron’s jetpack/computer as payment. But, apparently, jetpacks alone are more valuable than jetpacks/computers, so the alien rips off the part containing the DNA info and is like “boy, I sure hope there was nothing valuable there.” The end! (For Auron. Superman will continue appearing in comics.)
Plotline-Watch:
While I like Auron, this was kind of an underwhelming end to his storyline. There was a lot more that could have been done with the idea of Superman’s genetic info being somewhere out in space. My pitch: Amazing Grace from the Legends crossover shows up with a half-Kryptonian, half-Apokaliptic Boy of Steel and tells Superman he's the result of that time they took a naked bath together (we really need to go back and add images to that issue), but then it turns out she got the DNA from Auron. It writes itself! Anyway, I guess an abrupt ending is way better than just forgetting the storyline forever (no, I will never stop being mad about Dr. Stratos).
It’s unclear how much Superman knows about Auron. At one point he calls him “a… guardian of my memory” (emphasis in the original) and then he’s like “What do you want from me, some DNA?” so it’s possible he figured out Auron’s entire backstory thanks to his super-senses, but he never makes it explicit.
Upon being punched by Massacre, Superman says this is the hardest he’s been hit since Doomsday. We’re gonna see that line like 200 more times over the coming years. Don Sparrow adds: "Max beat me to it, but this is the first of many instances where Superman invokes Doomsday in order to build up whatever opponent he's facing. It happens so often, it could become a drinking game, so we'll try to keep track of it for you." No "try," Don. This is our duty.
Also, note that if Superman and Massacre were evenly matched in this issue, when Superman’s all juiced up, that means Massacre should normally be WAY more powerful. I’m not sure if his future appearances addressed that.
Incidentally, I think the writers are running out of ways to show that Superman’s powers are expanding in every issue, because “he can now see microwaves” is a pretty lame one. I would have guessed that was already a power Superman had. Plus, he seems to forget he can do that at the end, when Massacre escapes.
Meanwhile, Lois Lane continues her investigation into the disappearance of Lex Luthor Jr.’s personal trainer back on Earth. She sneaks into the LexCorp locker room again and talks to another trainer who doesn’t seem to believe the story that Sasha just happened to move to Coast City right before it blew up. However, the most disturbing part of the issue is Luthor’s lackey Dr. Happersen watching the above conversation through the many hidden cameras in that locker room. I wonder if Luthor knows about these cameras, or if it was just Happersen’s “personal project.”
Patreon-Watch:
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AND NOW, more from the great Don Sparrow, after the jump:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and it's a good one. The sun behind Auron and Superman gives nice rim lighting (I always like yellow rim lighting!) and the shine of Auron's metallic costume is very well rendered here.
The interior pages have a fairly slow build on the first page, but we get a nice look at a very tech-y looking spacecraft. The big reveal comes on the second and third page splash, where we see Auron (apparently robots have gleaming white teeth, who knew?) throwing down with Massacre, who has apparently killed the all-female crew. Massacre's costume is a master class in 90s design, with every box checked: shoulder pads, dreadlocks, pouches, knee pads, buckles galore.
The panel of Superman's arrival is a good one, even if it veers into Image-comics territory for the unwieldy length of Superman's cape.
As the story progresses, we cut to Lois doing some investigative journalism, and she is looking extremely fit in her leotard, as she meets the world's most helpful cleaning lady.
In terms of battle excitement, Auron's fight with Massacre lasts a little longer than Superman's, as Massacre takes off to Earth after killing Auron. But there are a couple great panels, especially the one where Superman cracks Massacre's helmet while shouting "not while I live!"
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
It was an odd choice to have this weird, Heavy Metal-looking random alien as the story's narrator. I'm not sure how well it worked. I think we're supposed to feel something for Auron's passing—Superman certainly does—but the story is presented in such an uncaring, "and then this happened" sort of way that it diminishes the impact a little.
The narrator mentions Tauntauns on the first page (in a particularly gross way), making this reference one of the first to link DC to the larger Star Wars universe.
As Max pointed out, Happersen has a preeeetty elaborate camera system rigged up for that change room. And we all know how much Luthor likes surveillance videotapes.
Interesting detail that Wanda (last seen in Superman #77, talking to Sasha Green before she was abducted by Lex) remembers meeting Lois. I went back and checked that issue, and while Lois and Supergirl interrupt Lex Jr's sparring session with Sasha, I can find no indication Lois ever speaks to Wanda, though I suppose it may have happened off camera. Her hair is different, though.
GODWATCH: We get quite a few invocations in this issue, from Superman finding the corpses of the Virago crew, with a "Good Lord!", followed by another Good Lord, when Massacre hits him as hard as Doomsday, and lastly Superman flat our prays "Please God let me get there before him!" when Massacre threatens to head to Earth ahead of Superman.
The little purple alien drinking what appears to be a goldfish bowl has a rear end that is distractingly well-rendered. For some reason. [Max: Hot dang, how did I fail to notice that thicc little alien in 18 years? Insert "Oh Yeah" by Yello here.]
