Adventures of Superman #501 (June 1993)
Adventures of Superman #501 (June 1993)
REIGN OF THE SUPERBOYS! I MEAN, MEN! Featuring Superman 2.0: a clone of the older, deader Superman who is definitely an adult and should never be referred to as "Superboy." Or that's what he keeps saying throughout this issue, anyway. We open with our brave hero stealing the glasses of a criminal (which, spoilers, he'll keep for decades) and forcibly making out with a girl he just saved. You know, just like the original Superman would!
Next up, Supermanboy stops by the Daily Planet and immediately endears himself to me by roughing up Jimmy Olsen for calling him the b-word. Lois Lane is already kinda fed up with all these people claiming to be her dead fiancee, so she doesn't seem terribly interested in this YouthMan of Steel's secret origin. It's just as well: at this point, our hero's attention is diverted by an attractive young reporter unsuccessfully looking for a job at the Planet, Tana Moon. Out of the kindness of his heart, the ChildMan of Tomorrow decides to give her his exclusive life story, allowing her to get insta-hired by GBS News.
Shady station owner Vinnie Edge is pretty pleased with the ratings this interview got and wants to turn non-Superboy into WGBS' new mascot (guess they need a new one after Turtle Boy got cancelled). Vinnie arranges for Tana and a GBS chopper to follow the Last InfantSon of Krypton as he goes after a crimelord called Steel Hand in Suicide Slum. There, they get some sweet footage of the SmallBig Blue BabyBoy Scout fighting some bodybuilders and, uh, machine gun-toting prostitutes (if only Professor Hamilton was around to help).
Steel Hand's forces whip out the big guns and the Metropolis TimelyMarvel actually seems freaked out for a second, but then they make the mistake of busting up his jacket. This pisses the kidman the hell off, and he pretty much smashes Steel Hand's whole operation within one page.
Naturally, the folks at Project Cadmus aren't pleased that their top genetic experiment busted out and now basically has his own reality show, but they can't retrieve him without calling more attention to themselves. The Guardian simply gives non-Superboy a talk about being more careful and mentions that "Things are seldom as they seem…"
Anyway, I guess things are exactly as they seem and this is truly an actual, no-bullshit clone of Superman! Welcome back! Again!
Plug-Watch:
This blog's co-host Don Sparrow was recently a guest at the Mike Fisher Podcast and talked about Superman, I'm told! I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet (I wanted to get this dang post done first), so I hope you didn't pledge allegiance to ISIS in there or something, Don. That would be awkward.
Creator-Watch:
This is the first issue of Adventures written by Karl Kesel, who previously wrote/drew some Cadmus back-up stories on Superman, and previously previously was John Byrne's inker. Kesel has already proven to be a worthy successor to Jerry Ordway with this first issue, by which I mean that there are lots of subplots and little character moments. So, let's get to that…
Plotline-Watch:
FIRST AND FOREMOST: Bibbo. Our favorite former drunkard continues his efforts to be more like Superman by putting on a blue shirt and delivering sandwiches to homeless people. As Bibbo arrives with the food, a distraught old woman starts crying because she'd just thrown her "babies" off the pier so they didn't have to starve. It turns out she's talking about some puppies, but Bibbo was already running dramatically toward the woman, so he jumps into the water to save them. The woman then donates the one living puppy to Bibbo (probably for the best), who decides to name it "Krypton" on account of its "sole survivor" condition. BIBBO: 1. OTHER SUPERMEN: 0.
When the kid makes the news, Lois talks to Ma Kent on the phone. Ma is like "there's no way that little turd is a clone of Clark," but Lois raises an interesting point: what if this is what Superman would be like if the Kents hadn't raised him? At least he's not a communist.
Vinnie Edge continues being an old creep by inviting Tana to his apartment at night and giving her booze. She's like 20! He also implies he'll hire a supervillain to fight Superboy for ratings, but that's like the least shocking part here. Like son, like father.
Steel Hand is a very obscure Jack Kirby villain that has only shown up in four issues ever, including this one. I see this as a prelude for the eventual Superboy solo series, which would at one point turn into The Jack Kirby Character Showcase Hour Feat. Superboy (and I loved it).
This issue has a couple of hints that Superboy's powers aren't exactly the same as Superman's. At two points he destroys weapons without seemingly touching them, and when Tana asks if he found Steel Hand with his X-ray vision, he changes the subject. (She probably just wanted to know if she should wear a lead bra.)
UNINTERESTING TRIVIA: When the old Superboy comics got translated into Spanish, they (for some reason) changed the name of Superboy's girlfriend from Lana Lang to Lina Luna. Luna means "moon," so I've always wondered if Tana's name was a reference to that. Probably not.
Lex Luthor Jr. is pretty pissed that he paid good money to put an informant inside Cadmus (Dr. Packard), and said informant never bothered to mention that they'd suddenly figured out how to clone Superman's funky, un-clonable DNA. The issue ends with a sweaty Packard saying he'll tell Luthor the whole story…
And that's the whole issue for me, but Don Sparrow has more to say after the jump!
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and on my version, it's another Superman S-shield, this one the familiar yellow and black "S" from Superman's cape. Only when we open up the comic, we see it's no cape, but a totally rad leather jacket.
As much as this issue (and Superboy's costume design) screams 90s, it's actually a great look, and a logical update for a costume created in the 30s. And right from the jump we're thrown into a fast-paced and fun story--I think the most fun issue of these four first introductions of the new Supermen.
Page 2 has a terrific splash page of The Metropolis Kid (honestly, it's so hard not to call him Superboy, but I'll try [Max: I gave up halfway through!]) simultaneously stopping a stolen taxi-cab (bonus points for the shattered windshield obscuring what must be some pretty gory injuries within) and also perhaps accidentally copping a feel whilst rescuing a pretty young jogger.
There are a few scenes that have aged a bit poorly reading this in 2017, so it's a fine line between The Metropolis Kid's youthful exuberance and uncomfortable disregard for our modern understanding of consent as he also lays a big smooch on the damsel he rescued. These early pages also do a great job of showcasing The Metropolis Kid's unique powers, particularly the way the gun he crushes appears to disperse, rather than merely squish in his hands.
From the fun of The Metropolis Kid's public debut, we go to the glum sweetness of Bibbo trying to fill Superman's shoes. As we'll often see as these stories progress,if anyone truly embodies Superman's legacy, it's recovering alcoholic Bibbo. Rather than showboating and groping attractive joggers, he's on the ground, using his resources to feed hungry people, and, in yet another example of Bibbo making me cry, he's rescuing a drowning puppy, profoundly observing "Miracles just need a l'il elbow grease to get ‘em rollin’!" Amen, brother Bibbo.
The introduction of The Metropolis Kid to Lois Lane is a comical scene (one I'm sure Max loved since physical harm comes to Jimmy Olsen [Max: How did you guess?!]) though the "Lois thinks this reallymight be Clark" moment is probably the biggest stretch of the four first issues, but still has some impact because Tom's so good at drawing Lois' emotion.
These scenes also introduce us to Tana Moon, a character who never really caught on like I imagine she was supposed to (and once again The Metropolis Kid shows disregard for personal physical boundaries).
The Metropolis Kid's choreographed battle with Steel Hand zips along nicely, and is another showcase for his power set. The panel on page 17 with his jacket in tatters is a great look (and a nice continuation of the super-team's seeming adoration of drawing a burnt or otherwise damaged super-cape).
The triple twist at the end of the story gives this fairly simple (but satisfying) introduction a more serious feel (Guardian revealing that he helped The Metropolis Kid fight Steel Hand, Tana and Vincent being shady, and Luthor getting the straight scoop on how a clone of Superman was possible). I know that The Metropolis Kid's eventually revealed lineage was a retcon, and not what these writers had in mind, but darn if that last scene doesn't make it almost fit. [Max: I was actually thinking the opposite… wouldn't Luthor know all this if he was always meant to be the "donor"? Did Packard come up with the idea himself and say "oh boy, the boss will love this"?]
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
Some cute inside-baseball headlines snuck into the Daily Planet scenes--one noting Jerry Ordway's departure to The Power of Shazam, and another heralding Karl Kesel rejoining the super-team as writer.
Minor colouring error on page 3 as the jogger's tank top goes from pink to blue and back again. [Max: I am pleased to report they fixed that in the collection!]
I'm guessing that's Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water that The Metropolis Kid is listening to on his Walkman.
Alice's one-word sentence trying to prepare Lois for seeing The Metropolis Kid is pretty funny. [Max: We've surpassed our image allotment, but for anyone curious, it's “ohmisslaneiknowyouvebeenthroughalotbutithinkyoubettergetreadyforashock”.]
Just occurred to me--maybe The Metropolis Kid suddenly kissing people is actually evidence that he IS the real Superman! [Max: I KNEW IT!]