Adventures of Superman #489 (April 1992)
Adventures of Superman #489 (April 1992)
PANIC IN THE SKY, Epilogue – The end of this epic saga… immediately followed by the beginning of another, almost as epic saga that has no official title, so we shall call it "Professor Hamilton's Bogus Journey."
Part 6 of "Panic" ended with Brainiac's Earth-invading, city-shrinking plans being foiled by Superman and like two dozen friends, plus non-friend Maxima, who betrayed Brainiac and lobotomized him. This issue opens with the also-telepathic Dubbilex (insert heart emoji) confirming that, yep, Brainy is pretty much brain dead. With that guy out of the way, the residents of Warworld surrender and agree to let Orion of the New Gods be their interim ruler until they elect a new power-crazed despot.
Once that's settled, Superman gathers all the heroes and they teleport back to Earth – just in time to join a big victory parade Lex Luthor II organized for them. Aww, such a thoughtful guy. Superman then gives a speech about how this experience made him rethink his "I always work alone" philosophy, and how it's too bad that the Justice League recently disbanded. Hmmm…
Moving on to the truly exciting part of the issue, Professor Hamilton is cleaning up his laboratory (he and Lex had to make all those gizmos for the heroes, so it's a mess) when he stumbles upon his old isolation chamber – the big fishbowl he once tried to use to cure Jimmy Olsen of his Eradicator-caused baldness, which instead transported Jimmy into another dimension. At the end of that wacky adventure, Hamilton promised an outer-dimensional being (Husque the Egyptian bodybuilder) that he'd find his missing sister… and then forgot all about it for two years, until now. Hamilton gets the chamber working again, and of course clumsily falls into it during an argument with his ladyfriend, Mildred.
The Professor is accidentally transported to Husque's home dimension and ends up joining a group of freedom fighters combating a tyrannical regime. They are 1) a guy who spits fire, 2) a goat-faced skeleton dude, and 3) the freakiest of all: Jimmy Olsen's dad('s clone)!
Meanwhile, on Earth, Husque finds Hamilton's unconscious girlfriend and takes her out of the lab, going "Hey, uh, anyone? I think this lady is sick." Unfortunately, no one speaks Husque's language and they all assume he's a monster who kidnapped her, so some armored Team Luthor members politely arrive to pick a fight with him. And then CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
Supergirl decided to stay back on Warworld a little while longer so she could bury her friend Draaga… in the same asteroid where Superman buried the Cleric three years ago (that place is getting crowded). And here's something cool: the Superman: Panic in the Sky! collected edition doesn't include the second half of this issue, since it has nothing to do with that storyline, but it makes up for it by adding a new page by Tom Grummett showing Supergirl departing for Earth in a spaceship Superman's old pal Blurpy prepared for her. So even if you have the issues, the book is worth getting just for the extra Blurpy.
This storyline started with Brainiac metaphorically owning the New Gods, so it's appropriate that it ends with them literally owning him – Metron takes Brainiac's body to New Genesis and will hang him up from some cables like a weird decoration, as we'll see in a few years
Also ending in this issue: Jimmy Olsen's poverty adventures, at long last! After getting fired from the Daily Planet nearly a year ago (or like two weeks ago in comic book time, I guess), Jimmy worked as a hot dog vendor, broke about a million cameras, got kicked out of his apartment and ended up in a homeless shelter. Now, with Bibbo's help, Jimmy has put his life back together and scored a gig at Newstime Magazine… which he uses to get his old job at the Planet back. Whit is ecstatic.
Speaking of Jimmy, the tyrants ruling Husque's dimension are none other than the Olsen-philiac mad scientists Simyan and Mokkari, last seen trapped in a void dimension (don't call it "Phantom Zone"). It's explained by Dad Olsen Clone #1 (originally one of their experiments) that S&M tricked Husque into transporting them to his home dimension, and then they just took over as its rulers. Never trust someone who loves Jimmy Olsen, people!
Uh, except for Don Sparrow, of course. Don's cool. Do trust him, and do read what he has to say about the art in this issue (and more) next:
Art-Watch (by donsparrow):
We open with a great cover, one of the rare visual collaborations between my two favourite artists, Tom Grummett and Jerry Ordway, and it’s a perfect summation of this transitional issue–the heroes are indeed home from defeating Brainiac’s forces. All the characters look great, and I love the touch of having certain strands of confetti and ticker tape in front of the trade dress, giving the image a three dimensional feel.
Inside we pick up very quickly on the heels of last week’s issue, with a lobotomized Brainiac and a raging Maxima. [Max: I like the contrast between the grandiose title of the story ("Hail the Conquering Heroes") and Superman's grief over Brainiac's state.]
The body language of the different characters is, as usual, well observed. Orion brusquely rejecting Maxima’s advances is a great visual. That exchange, however, makes me glad that Maxima is a little more haughty in the upcoming pages of JLA, rejecting Blue Beetle (and Guy Gardner, despite their exchange on page 3). Between Superman, Orion, and eventually Captain Atom, Maxima probably throws herself at the men of the DCU a little too often.
[Max: Fun fact! Ordway says on his commentary for this issue in the collection that he originally wanted Maxima to stay as Warworld's new ruler, but then he found out Dan Jurgens had plans for her in the Justice League so he went with another feisty redhead, Orion.]
The image of Deathstroke cradling an injured (dead? it’s hard to tell–the child’s mother doesn’t seem too saddened) alien child is pretty affecting, and if the goal is humanizing Slade Wilson, his exchange with Wonder Woman (who calls him friend!) is effective.
PANELOF THE WEEK honours go to the bottom of page 7, where my two favourite heroes shake hands, and given Jerry Ordway’s close involvement with both, it almost feels like a passing of the torch somehow (in spite of Blue Beetle’s snark).
After Superman’s “I’m starting up the JLA again speech” (which manages to not be boring, visually, which is tough for a page of pure dialogue) we catch up with Professor Hamilton, who suddenly remembers the void dimension from months back. I have to admit–the void dimension doesn’t hold a lot of interest for me. Plus, it’s a little confusing–didn’t it originally get started as the place that Mokkari and Simyan would send their failed projects? If so, where’s the Kryptonite Superman from Superman #43? One would think he’d be some help in the weird revolution going on there. (Ah! This isn’t the void world from Superman 43, it’s all explained by goat skeleton man on page 21! This is another world, which they teleported to FROM the void, where, I assume, they left Green Superman)
Art wise, I love Jimmy’s celebration on page 13, at having been hired back to the Daily Planet, as is Hamilton getting zapped into the not-void dimension. [Max: In my memory, Jimmy does the exact same celebration when he returns to the Planet again in Superman Forever #1. It's even by Grummett again. We'll find out if I'm right in six years!] It’s a small detail, but I also love on page 10, where the very human Emil appears to really struggle under the heft of lugging his equipment. It’s nicely observed, even though he’s clearly lifting with his back and not his legs. Come on, Ham, kiniesiology is science, too.
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
Metron is such a douche, though. Brainiac kicked his butt and held him prisoner yesterday, and he still deigns to call earthlings “lesser beings”–when it was one of those lesser beings, The Flash, who actually stopped Brainiac.
I’m glad for the one throwaway line of dialogue from Orion, that he’ll run Warworld until a suitable leader emerges. Orion is nowhere to be found the next time we see Warworld, and I was getting confused about that on my first reading. [Max: I looked it up and no one ever mentioned Orion's role as Warworld leader again. Too bad. It could be seen as practice for that time he ended up ruling Apokolips.]
I love the down-to-Earth Flash riffing on Orion and Lightray’s stilted, Shakespearean way of speaking.
Considering how doom and gloom he was during the fight, it’s a bit weird to see Gangbuster at the front of the parade, basking in the Ghostbusters treatment.
Are leisure suits the rage in Australia at this time? Seems like that’s all Lex Jr. ever wears. [Max: That's because he's such a good, down to Earth guy!]
Mildred kinda gets mad pretty abruptly, and I don’t get it. Shouldn’t Emil be the one offended? She just flat out told him he was boring her. But it’s her that tries to storm off. Oh well, she may only have a grade 8 education, but she’s a step up from the kind of company he used to keep. (Hookers. He used to hang out with hookers.)
Is Husque pronounced “husk” or “hoosk”? I read it as “hoosk” but am realizing it might be “husk”. [Max: I pronounce it "hookers".]
Jimmy Olsen’s dad’s spy adventures would make for a pretty cool backup book.
I’m very interested in all these versions of “the Phantom Zone” which at this point didn’t officially exist in continuity. I had an idea for a storyline where the voidzone from this era, and the ghost zone from Grant Morrison’s Prometheus story in JLA all had backdoors in and out of the Phantom Zone proper. DC, come on, hire me! I work cheap!