Adventures of Superman #463 (February 1990)
Adventures of Superman #463 (February 1990)
Mr. Mxyzptlk forces Superman and Flash to race around the world to find out who’s faster. WHO COULD IT BE?! (Flash, obviously, because that’s all the guy has going for him and Superman has like 16 other powers.)
The issue starts with Wally “Flash” West eating at Big Belly Burger with his pal Mason when they hear about “terrorists at Mt. Rushmore.” Mason convinces Wally to go check it out, but the “terrorists” turn out to be Mr. Mxyzptlk, who has vandalized the presidents’ monument to include his sexy face.
Upon finding out that Flash’s power is being super-fast, Mxyzptlk wonders who’s faster, him or Superman, and then remembers he can use his unlimited powers to find out – he announces to the media that there will be a big Superman vs. Flash race across the globe, and if Superman wins, Mxy will go back to his dimension. At this point Superman should have discreetly asked Flash to throw the race to get rid of the magical imp, but instead he decides that being a dick to Wally sounds like a better course of action:
The race begins and we get cameos from various DC superheroes watching the competition (but not Batman, like the cover promises). Superman continues being kind of an asshole to Flash as they run across deserts, oceans and mountains, so it’s actually a relief when Mxy tricks him into running into a wall with a tunnel painted on it, Wile E. Coyote-style, and Superman ends up buried in rubble. Flash actually stops running to help Superman there, and they get along better from then on.
In the end Flash wins, shocking no one except Mxyzptlk, who lied about his deal with Superman and planned to stay only if he won. Since Superman lost, Mxy leaves and Supes and Flash go for some shakes and burgers (the scene isn’t shown but I know it happened, in my heart).
Character-Watch:
Mxyzptlk learned to lie during his last visit to our dimension, in Superman #31, when Lex Luthor introduced him to the concept. Speaking of Lex, Mxy runs into him when the race reaches the Soviet Union, since Luthor and his team are apparently looking for kryptonite rocks all over Europe now (we saw another team in Ireland in Superman #40). Since there’s nothing there, Mxy creates a chunk of kryptonite and offers it to Luthor, but he turns it down because it’s the wrong color (red).
What Lex doesn’t know is that red-K does have a powerful effect on Superman that will lead to a huge storyline (the unfortunately named “Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite”), but that won’t happen for like 10 months.
Plotline-Watch:
According to an ad in a previous issue, the race was supposed to “continue all across the DC Universe,” but in the end Superman and Flash only made guest appearances in New Gods #13 and Hawk & Dove #9 (if you count “a red/blue woosh of air” as a guest appearance). Either the editors couldn’t get organized, or Superman and Flash are running so fast in all those other comics that they’re invisible.
Superman’s assholeness in this issue isn’t exclusively directed at Flash: as Clark Kent, he’s also shown being an ogre to his employees at Newstime Magazine because they’re slacking off (then he leaves work to run across the world with a pal). Incidentally, Clark took that job at Newstime during his last sudden bout of jerkitude in Superman #39. All will be explained soon.
Speaking of Newstime, the owner Colin Thornton is among the people shown watching the race, along with Jose Delgado, Professor Hamilton, the Kents, Lana Lang and the Planet staff. The word “devil” in this panel is some super-advanced foreshadowing:
Also watching the race is Lois Lane’s sister Lucy, but Lois just can’t concentrate because she misses Clark too damn much since he quit the Planet. She actually feels sorry for being mean to him in all those John Byrne comics. Progress!
I’m a big fan of the Flash comics from this era (I did short issue-per-issue commentaries for the whole thing at Comics Bulletin), so it’s nice to see Wally’s supporting cast make cameos: besides Mason Trollbridge, Wally’s sort-of girlfriend Connie is cheering him, as is the wife of the original Flash, good old Joan Garrick (who, at this point in the continuity, believed her husband dead and was having a sexual adventure with Mason).
Creator-Watch:
The Justice League International appears in this issue, since Flash was a member at this point. This is significant because I’m pretty sure this is the first time Dan Jurgens writes and draws the JLI, and he’ll end up taking over their comic in a couple of years when Superman joins the team, right before Doomsday kills him and mangles all the others.
The Justice Leaguers in this issue include Martian “I posed as Superman’s ghost” Manhunter, Mister “Superman did a porno with my wife” Miracle and Jurgens’ creation Booster Gold, who bet $1,000 on Flash. He can use his winnings to repair that billboard of him that Superman destroyed.
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