Adventures of Superman #0 (October 1994)
Adventures of Superman #0 (October 1994)
"Peer Pressure," Part 3! We learn how Kenny "Conduit" Braverman became a supervillain, and how Clark Kent learned about journalism... and other things. Sexy things. After finding out that someone definitely wants to kill him in Superman #0, Clark apparently thought "ah well, what are ya gonna do" and went back to calmly painting his apartment with an also very relaxed-looking Lois Lane. Or at least she looked relaxed until he pulled this gag on her:
What they don't know is that Conduit is spying on them through the scope of a giant '90s supervillain gun. For some reason, the subject of someone trying to kill him makes Clark think back to his time wandering around Europe after college. More specifically, he remembers spending time in Paris and meeting a "worldly" journalist called Simone D'Neige who took a special interest in him, if you know what I mean. (I mean they porked. Or at least it's heavily suggested that they porked.)
While Clark talks about that, Conduit remembers what he was doing at the same time: volunteering to be studied by the CIA because of the weird condition he'd had since he was a kid. Eager to rise from "lab rat" to an actual CIA agent, Kenny infiltrates a Quraci terrorist group and helps them plan a terrorist attack in, what do you know, Paris. The two flashbacks intersect when Clark and Kenny remember bumping into each other at a club; Kenny hides his contempt for Clark, while Clark is just happy to see his old buddy.
Clark tells Kenny about an important interview that Simone set up for him near the Seine. Kenny is like "cool!" and then runs off to convince his new terrorist pals that it sure would be fun to blow up a bus on a very specific spot near the Seine. On the day of interview/terrorist attack, Clark happens to spot the almost-exploding bus and has to ditch Simone to throw the bomb in the river with his super-speed. As a result, Clark gets dumped by Simone while Kenny is commended by the CIA for exposing the Quracis with a terrorist attack that killed no one, though he's still pissed that he didn't get to blow up Clark.
In the present, Conduit finally sees Lois and Clark near a window and shoots at them...
(Hope Lois didn't ruin her AI-generated “Adidas” leggings.)
...but it turns out Conduit was only looking at a mirror. To make matters worse, Superman once again comes out of nowhere and butts in on Conduit's attempts to murder his old schoolmate, the big meddler. During the ensuing fight, Conduit says "I play the cards fate deals me, Superman! But I play to win!" Superman remembers Kenny saying something like that when they met in Paris. At first he's like "nah, it couldn't possibly be my good ol' chum" -- but a quick X-Ray peek reveals that, yep, Conduit is Kenny. Give or take a few cables.
("You bastard!")
Superman is still reeling from that revelation when he's zapped by a blast of that green energy that's always crackling around Conduit, which turns out to be... KRYPTONITE!!! The issue ends with Superman sinking underwater after the kryptonite blast and everything going dark. That's a TO BE CONTINUED right there if I ever saw one.
Character-Watch:
First appearance of Simone D'Neige, one of a select group of women who might have realistically had the honor of popping Superman's cherry. She will re-appear under a different spelling (damn you, Superboy Prime!) and join the Daily Planet staff... until 1999, when everyone forgets her forever. Except Clark, presumably.
Plotline-Watch:
I need to point out that the front page story Simone wrote about the foiled terrorist attack is headlined "SACRE-BOUM!" She won 14 Pulitzers and, despite not living in Metropolis, a Baldy Award for it.
Bibbo doesn't appear in this issue (boooo), but you could say it's still an important milestone in Bibbo continuity because Clark is wearing a shirt that says "Bibbo's Pal - Ace O'Clubs Wear." My only question is why would Clark wear anything else now that he owns that. Yes, including to the office.
When trying to think of who might want to kill Clark, Lois mentions Intergang, a name we've barely seen since Clark brought them down with the power of journalism (and a little bit of punching) exactly three years ago, in Superman #60. Clark reminds her that "Intergang's still dissolved." For now.
The CIA scientists who study Kenny wonder if his nascent powers might have anything to do with "the Cadmus boys metagene." I don't remember Cadmus having anything to do with the discovery of the metagene, first mentioned during the Invasion! crossover, but it would make sense if they did and kept it quiet because, you know, secret government agency and all.
You might think it's a huge coincidence that Clark went from never mentioning Kenny to randomly bringing him up like six times during this one storyline, but consider this: this is technically a new universe. It's possible that in post-Zero Hour continuity, Clark brings up his dear friend Kenny every single day and Lois is just used to it by now.
Shout Outs-Watch:
French shout outs (okay, that sounded dirtier than I wanted it to) to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Shevlin, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode! Both of those also have free tiers, if you just wanna get posts like this one in your inbox.
And now, more art commentary (and pictures of Simone D'Neige) from Don Sparrow:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
We start with the cover, and even apart from the metallic silver look, it would be an all-timer. The explosions subtly recall to me the first return to Adventures issue, AOS #505, with the holographic fireworks. Only these aren’t fireworks, they’re clearly enemy fire. Still, great pose, great colouring, great look.
Kitson and McCarthy absolutely excel at the shiny, high-tech look of Conduit, each muscle looking realistic and in place.
While I’ve been enjoying Lois’ more casual fitness outfits, Clark is really leaning into the inherent dude-broiness of the mullet, and wearing sunglasses indoors with cutoffs and a neon shirt.
As the story continues, we get parallel histories of these post-high-school years of both Clark and Kenny, and as with other issues that did these sort of parallel stories at once, it doesn’t really work as a whole—you almost have to read the entire top story first, then come back and read the bottom story, otherwise it gets a little confusing to follow. But there are some great visuals here, first of Paris France, in Clark’s story about worldly Simone D’Niege, but also a very Agent Coulson looking handler in Kenny’s story (a full 14 years before the Marvel films began to feature him).
The story zips along well, and generally, this art team is great, but there are a few strange things from time to time like Clark having about 32 teeth on the top row as he makes a hip reference to the Bee Gees' 1977 song. I like the cutaway edge for Superman’s x-ray vision, and as in the last issue, Kenny’s cords and cables look quite painful.
SPEEDING BULLETS:
For those of you unfamiliar with these international terms, a French Kiss is when the tongue is used during a regular lip kiss. And a French Copy-Edit is when an older woman mashes her ample chest against your ear while checking your spelling.
As a die-hard Lois and Clark ‘shipper, I naturally detest any of their previous relationships, but even so there’s something particularly grating about the Simone character. Almost every line of her dialogue contains either a come-on or a threat, which isn’t an endearing trait. Continuity-wise it rankles as well, as it becomes hard to fit in all these meaningful relationships to such a short post-high-school era, particularly given how important Lori Lemaris was made out to be in previous issues. On the other hand, even while I dislike Simone, I’m uncomfortable with Clark using a gendered insult like “salope”, the kindest translation of which is “slut” (and there are a few even worse), when he tells Lois about her. [Max: I think Simone and Jeb Friedman should be in the same comic at some point. Preferably Suicide Squad.]
There’s something amusing about a full-on makeout in the back of a parked cab, on page 11. I can just imagine an over-it French cabbie rolling his eyes.
It’s good writing to have Superman clue into Kenny’s identity from his phrase about cards and fate, even if it has felt like it’s taken a long time for Clark to catch up to us readers.
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