Action Comics #694 (December 1993)
Action Comics #694 (December 1993)
Spilled Blood, Part 2! Superman vs. Bloodsport vs. Hi-Tech (the lady with terrible acne in the cover). Previously in this somewhat infamous storyline: Bloodsport 2.0, the KKK's favorite DC Comics character, has fired two missiles, one aimed at Jimmy Olsen and one at Ron Troupe, just to force Superman to choose between a white person and a black person. Superman saves Ron first, but it's not because of his skin color -- it's because Jimmy is awful (and because he has more experience getting out of deadly situations, I guess).
Superman rushes to stop the missile aimed for Jimmy as fast possible (after stopping to chat with Ron for a while, naturally), but it looks like he'll be too late -- until the missile is intercepted by Hi-Tech, that technophiliac thrillseeker Superman met a year ago in Action #682. In that issue, Hi-Tech started out trying to beat Superman but they ended up joining forces against another villain. At first, it looks like she might still be on Supes' side in this issue, since she saved a life and all (only Jimmy's, but still). But then, she absorbs the missile that was headed for Jimmy into her body and its programming is installed into her brain, meaning that she's now obsessed with killing Jimmy Olsen.
Meanwhile, Bloodsport is still trying to kill as many black people as possible, starting with Ron Troupe. Ron is saved when Bloodsport is distracted by Superman and Hi-Tech crashing down right in front of him -- at this point, Hi-Tech reveals that she's also working for Bloodsport's mysterious benefactor and near-namesake, Bloodthirst, who sent her as "backup." Oh, and he's also the one who gave her the power to absorb machines. However, Bloodsport is NOT happy when he learns that Hi-Tech has ripped off his signature weapons-teleporting gimmick (that he ripped off from another guy in the first place), and he lets her know his displeasure:
So now Bloodsport and Hi-Tech are fighting each other while Superman fights Hi-Tech's teleported robot helpers and Ron Troupe freaks out in the middle of it all. Eventually, Ron gets tired of hiding, grabs one of the giant Rob Liefeld guns Bloodsport left laying around, and decides to end this mess himself:
Hi-Tech is already out of commission at this point after Bloodsport made her "absorb" a wooden stake right in her stomach, so it looks like Ron saved the day. But, while being held at gun point by Ron, Bloodsport teleports an explosive into his hand… which isn't very smart, because it's the same hand Superman broke last issue. He clumsily drops the explosive and Superman only has time to get Ron out of the way before it goes off, killing both villains.
Or did it?! Hours later, we see Hi-Tech materializing at the spot of the explosion, now completely robotic and looking evil-er than ever. She murders two cops and says she's going after Jimmy, and nothing can stop her from killing him now. Cool, I'm rooting for h-- I mean, oh no, not Jimmy! CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
Man, Hi-Tech is all over the place in this issue: she saves Jimmy, then tries to kill him, then accidentally saves Ron, then tries to help Bloodsport kill everyone, then fights Bloodsport, then tells Superman to save Ron right before the explosion, then goes back to "kill Jimmy" mode. Maybe this is commentary on how our over-reliance on technology has made us fickle and easily swayed… or maybe Karl Kesel was assigned this fill-in issue on short notice and didn't have time to plot out a more coherent character arc for her (the cover says "Stern," but the credits box inside says the only writer is Kesel).
SPOILER: Bloodsport didn't die in that big explosion either. I was gonna rag on the Super-Team for that one, because "big deadly explosions where no one relevant actually died" is a pet peeve of mine (see: Coast City), but then I remembered that both villains had teleporters inside of them at the time of the explosion so I'll give them a pass.
And now, the sleaziest panel ever printed in a Superman comic: Cat Grant's boss, TV mogul Vinnie Edge, uses the death of her son to hit on her. In comic book time he's been dead for, what, five days? Common etiquette dictates that you should wait at least a month to bring out the "hey, no babysitters" line, dude. Cat officially has enough of Vinnie being a creep to her and announces that she'll end him, but he's like "hehe, she's crazy for me." SPOILER 2: she was not.
Our resident art appreciator Don Sparrow is out this week, so it falls on me to point out that Jackson Guice draws a MEAN Ron Troupe. I'd read a Ron Troupe miniseries by Guice, but I'd even read a Allie the Daily Planet Copy Girl or a Whit the Office Psycho series, so that doesn't mean much.
Patreon-Watch:
Customary shout out to Superman ‘86 to '99's pals, Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris "Ace" Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Samuel Doran, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush and Raphael Fischer! The last two exclusive Patreon posts have been about two more episodes of the increasingly wacky 1988 Superman cartoon, featuring THIS guy:
Also, a reminder that we're giving a classic George Perez Action Comics cover reimagined by our own Don Sparrow (a cover version of a cover, if you will) and anyone can enter the giveaway, not just patrons. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99!