Action Comics #651 (March 1990)
Action Comics #651 (March 1990)
Day of the Krypton Man, Part 3! Maxima returns to seduce Superman. Unfortunately, the Man of Steel is going through an “emotions are for cavemen” phase in his life right now, so not even Maxima’s luscious curves can get a reaction out of him.
We start with Clark Kent arriving at his new job as editor of Newstime Magazine, where all his employees now hate and fear him for being a jerk who fires old people. Clark is like “silly humans” and reflects about all the fellow aliens he’s met recently as Superman – including Lady Maxima, who showed up in Metropolis back in Action #645 and caused a ruckus, but appeared to get blown up before Superman could find out what the hell she wanted. Of course, that was just a replica of Maxima that she sent to Earth to check out Superman before putting the moves on him. Just as Clark is thinking all this, the real Maxima comes to Earth and finally tells Superman what she’s after: poon-tang.
Yep, she wants to make babies with Superman so they can rule her galactic empire. Superman is intrigued by “the possibility of continuing the Kryptonian line” (and how!), but he rather tactlessly turns down Maxima because he doesn’t want to mix his genes with that of a savage brute.
Maxima doesn’t take the rejection well and a fight ensues, ending up at Metropolis’ S.T.A.R. Labs facility. Maxima manages to connect with Superman’s mind and shows him what his future with her could be like: it’s full of exposed chests, sexy poses and mullets (well, at least one of those things came true). However, Superman resists Maxima’s psychic advances thanks to his flawless Kryptonian logic.
“stfu, epic win for science. friendzone!”
Maxima is like “screw you, then” and attacks Superman with a psychic blast before trying to escape, but he stops her with a well-placed ladyslap, and then puts a convenient S.T.A.R. Labs gizmo on her head to suppress her powers. Maxima is arrested, but then the issue ends with Clark Kent finding out the government basically gave her diplomatic immunity for being president of another world, and let her go. The reporters at Newstime are scandalized, but Clark agrees to kill the story when Washington asks him to, because it’s the logical thing to do.
Character-Watch:
We find out a lot more about Maxima this time around: her home planet is called Almerac and they like to conquer worlds, select their sexiest specimens and breed with them to create a perfect race. Maxima was preparing to battle with another evil galactic empire, Mongul’s Warworld, when she found that Superman pretty much singlehandedly brought down that guy (back in his space exile). Apparently she didn’t prepare well enough, though, because in a few years Almerac will go up against Warworld (headed by someone other than Mongul) and lose pretty badly.
Plotline-Watch:
We get another update on poor unlucky Draaga: he’s still stranded in that asteroid with his cabbie and is getting more desperate to fight Superman. He’ll finally get his wish in the very next issue… but Superman won’t be calling himself Superman by then.
This issue pretty much completes Superman’s slow progression into an emotionless Kryptonian. He says that seeing Maxima getting all hot and bothered (with anger, I mean) made him realize what he didn’t want to be. And once again, his costume briefly transforms into a Kryptonian suit, this time just as he’s smacking her in the face (apparently the Kryptonians were way into punching women).
Before going after Superman, Maxima makes a short stop at the prison to free her three-eyed servant Sazu (we saw her there last issue), only to send her to another prison in space. Maxima will eventually return Sazu to our justice system when she tries to go good.
While trying to convince Superman to make whoopee, Maxima brings up an interesting point: Superman couldn’t have a kid with a human woman, but he could with Maxie. The issue will be explored at greater length in a future annual also featuring Maxima (and the same revealing suits from this issue).
I’m pretty sure that the scene where Superman is thinking about all the aliens he’s met is only there because someone wanted George Perez to draw a bunch of characters: we see Martian Manhunter, Kilowog from the Green Lantern Corps, Starfire from the New Teen Titans, Mr. Miracle and Big Barda from the New Gods (and, as I’ll never get tired of pointing out, Superman’s porno tape), plus recent baddies like Lobo, Brainiac, the Four-Armed Terror and that giant bug who almost pooped Superman.
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