Action Comics #648 (December 1989)
Action Comics #648 (December 1989)
The Brainiac Trilogy, Part 2: Superman vs. Metallo! And Metallo, and Metallo, and Metallo, and Metallo, and Metallo. They would have named this “The Metallo Sextology” but it sounded like a porno.
Oh, Brainiac is in this comic, too: as of last issue, Brainiac is in complete control of an advanced LexCorp lab in the Rocky Mountains (plus all the scientists inside of it). The problem is that the human body Brainiac hijacked in his first appearance is getting weak and dying, since it wasn’t constructed to house the mind of a powerful alien, so Brainy wants to upgrade it using a combination of cybernetic technology and some genetic engineering. For this last part he’s gonna need an actual genetic engineer, so he sends his new robotic friend Metallo (disguised with fake skin and a mustache) to fetch a famous one called Dr. Augustine and place a mind control gizmo on him. Augustine, in turn, leads mustache Metallo (Mustallo?) and Brainiac’s floating head projection to Project Cadmus to steal some genetic material. (I’ll spare you the sperm joke, since I’ve already filled my dirty joke quota for this issue.)
At this point we find out that Metallo has seen Star Wars, the big nerd:
Meanwhile, Superman is fighting some explosive Metallo duplicates sent to blow up the LexCorp tower (hence the cover image). Superman wraps that up just in time to hear the commotion at Cadmus, as Brainiac’s team is found out by good ol’ Dubbilex and Metallo kicks the Guardian’s ass for knocking the fake mustache off his face. Superman shows up and Metallo challenges him to a fight, but it turns out the guy isn’t such a formidable opponent when he doesn’t have a chunk of kryptonite in his chest.
(The real power was in the mustache.)
The mind-controlled Augustine manages to escape, though, and joins the Brainiac Science Cult in the Rockies. The issue ends with Luthor finally getting around to visiting the Rockies lab only for his own security people to point guns at him, since they are now loyal to the other bald supervillain. CONTINUED!
Character-Watch:
At the beginning of the issue we get a nice recap of the highlights of Metallo’s life, like that time he died in a car crash, or when that crazy scientist moved his brain to a robot body and sent him to kill Superman (in Superman #1), or his encounter with the Doom Patrol (in Superman #20). After that fight, Superman went “drat, he escaped” but we find out now that Metallo’s head was just buried in the rubble (Superman apparently didn’t look very hard), where it’s retrieved by Dr. Happersen and stuffed in a box until Brainiac freed him last issue. Now Metallo is back to being dismembered, but at least they left him his torso this time.
Plotline-Watch:
Clark Kent spends exactly four panels reminding us of the plotlines of the other Superman series, while drinking from a water cooler: Jimmy Olsen is still missing, the Eradicator is still safely turned off, and Clark is still mildly intrigued by that offer to become a magazine editor. Some interesting choice of words when he says “what possessed me to even consider Colin Thorton’s offer” – you were just thinking about the answer, Clark.
The poor guys at Team Luthor (last seen getting tortured by Mr. Mxyzptlk in Superman #31) appear again to try to stop the Metallo army from advancing into the LexCorp tower, without much luck. Their armors are still purple, but for one panel they appear white (or white-ish) due to the light coming from their blasters. I have a theory that whoever colored their next appearance used this panel as a reference, because they’ll be white from now on.
WTF-Watch:
I have no idea why there are references to Psycho and The Wizard of Oz in this short sequence of Mustallo putting on his tie, but I love it.
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