Notes from the Engine Room VI
Meta Letta
My eternal fear with these newsletters is that one day, I'll be staring at the blank page and blinking cursor of a fresh edition and I'll have ... nothing. It'll come in a week laden with stress, devoid of entertainment, or thoughts. Weeks where the goal is to survive, not thrive. At those times I'll go to my well of inspiration and find it dry. To you, this may seem silly; but to me it's a very real fear. This last year has seen me flirt with burnout on more than one occasion, when I've tried to stretch just a little too far for a little too long. I'm not especially good at non-productive relaxation, but burnout is a state where working harder and doing more makes things worse, not better.
It's part of why I've been trying to keep up with yoga, and indulge myself in a little meditation. To give the mind a chance to unclench a little bit. And maybe eek out one more newsletter.
In My Ears
This segment is always the trickiest, because even though it's short in here, curating a playlist takes time and research. I have a few cheats lined up for weeks when finding nine tracks that pique my interest is just not feasible. But, happy days, this isn't a cheat week!
Behold, Sounds From The Engine Room 2!
My particular favourites this week are by CATTY and Atomic Bronco.
On My Screen
So TFATWS concluded and I shan't spoil it here. I will say that the transition of Bucky Barnes from long-haired cypher to PTSD survivor is one I'm here for. His character has power, which can be, and has been, harnessed for great acts of destruction by different sides. But in this show he came across as phenomenally human, a man trying to find peace, identity and a family. In my opinion, it was the most relatable aspect of the whole show. As opposed to the new uniform, which adheres closely to its comics blueprint, but I think looks a little silly.
I had some catching up to do with Line of Duty season six, primarily because I found the first two episodes quite boring. The show walks a fine line between the needs of narrative and of realism, and sometimes makes the wrong sacrifice. I know people say they care about so-called realism, but is your viewing pleasure really enhanced by the extreme length of the tone when the DIR engages? Do they really need to use extensive 'real' terminology and acronyms throughout? Does every AFO, sitting in an ARV as part of an ARU assigned to the MIT have to report to the TA, or can the SIO instruct them to apprehend the CHIS based on an AM? The answer is in item TG-12 in your packs and on screen.
Thankfully by episode three the drama picks up a little; definitely so by the end of episode five. But if LOD hadn't had five successful seasons, I wouldn't have persevered. There's now only one episode left of season six, and while I'm enjoying the show much more than those first two of the season, I now fear that the search for the Mastermind will drag on eternally. It's not just Ted who doesn't have that kind of time...
Happy days! I May Destroy You, still available to watch on BBC iPlayer, has received a well-deserved eight BAFTA nominations! Michaela Coel is a genius, and I hope she wins big. It's not too late to start watching this now, if you haven't already!
John Wick spinoff The Continental will center on a young Winston, the character played by Ian McShane in the movies. The prequel will explore the young Winston and how it came to be that he and his team of confederates found their way into The Continental Hotel, sanctuary of killers and assassins. Starz likely won't air the show until after the fourth John Wick movie which, due to the pandemic, isn’t set to release until May 27, 2022.
In My Eyes
As alluded to last week, I didn't carry on with American War. Instead, when I went into London last week and popped into the lovely Gosh! Comics, I saw that they had Volume 3 of the Black Magick collected edition.
Greg Rucka's 'witches and crime' drama went into hiatus two years ago, and I'd honestly given up on expecting more. It's now on another break, but at least this time I have faith it will continue.
In My Browser
I feel I'm probably going to change this new category heading, but I've already got some ambiguity around In My Eyes and On My Screen. But anyway, from time to time I find interesting things on the internet, and this is where I share them with you.
Dove reverses selfie edits to highlight dangers of social media - The pressures young people, girls especially, face as they grow up and try to form who they are is immense. My own girl, three years of age, was told she couldn't play with some children if she wasn't wearing pink, or a dress or something sparkly. And this in a safe environment, surrounded only with trained adult professionals and other three-year olds. This is before the introduction of social media, and those fragile, formative pre-teen years. Dove might have created an advert, but anything that helps to illustrate the problems is of help.
My Favourite Game: Myth - Subscriber Rob Milner on his favourite retro game, Myth.
The clockwork universe: is free will an illusion? - "It isn’t unheard of for philosophers to receive death threats" A loooong read on the (possibly inevitable) debate surrounding free will amongst philosophers.
In My Face
I love coffee, and I've tried a lot of it. My current favourite is made by a coffee van local to me. Brad and Dills use their own blend of Caravan coffee, and it's excellent. And you can buy it to try yourself.
They also use that coffee to make a delicious espresso martini. I sadly don't have their recipe, so here's mine:
Espresso Martini
Ingredients
- Vodka (I use Russian Standard)
- Coffee liqueur (I use Mr Black)
- Espresso (I use Brad and Dills made in a moka pot)
- Optional Sugar Syrup (you can use sugar instead)
- Optional coffee beans
- Ice
Equipment
- Cocktail shaker
- Martini glass(es)
Method
- Chill the martini glass(es) in the freezer
- Prepare the espresso, allow to cool slightly
- Add the vodka, espresso and coffee liqueur to the shaker. For a single glass of martini, Diffords recommends a ratio of 45ml:30ml:20ml, Felicity Cloake uses 25ml:35ml:35ml. I like to use a simple ratio of 35ml:35ml:35ml. Partly because it's easy to remember.
- Stir, taste, add sugar or sugar syrup to taste
- Add a lot of ice to the shaker and shake it! Vigorously! For at least 20 seconds!
- Pour out through a fine strainer into the chilled martini glass
- If you're feeling fancy, float three coffee beans in the froth
- Enjoy!
On My Mind
This last week I've tried to do a little marketing for the newsletter. I sent it to some people I know, put up Facebook posts, mentioned it to people I know, random people on the street, etc. It was a stunning response, in that while I didn't have high expectations, I was expecting a little more than zero uptake.
While this is a shame, it does highlight two things:
- On the whole, people aren't that married to the idea of newsletters. Unless it's a Patreon of someone known or established, newsletters are most often used for marketing purpose. Email is increasingly deemed an antiquated mechanism for interaction, mostly used for work or by the parents of Gen Z.
- Since this newsletter isn't going to take off massively, it actually makes things easier. The stress levels are a lot lower, and there's a lot less second-guessing as to tone and content. I can just write what I like and how I like, and quite frankly that's good for me.
There are still future questions about things like viability in this unchanged format, some form of Patreon or (the dream) a POD magazine. Clearly such projects can succeed, but I've just this moment seen a comment about paid-for content which says:
"It's literally an opinion piece. Are opinions worth paying money for these days when everyone can publish one for free?"
Yikes.
But those are far future questions, and not ones to trouble my pretty little head over. Do it for the joy of it, rather than wracking my brains as to how to turn this into yet another side hustle.
You know how Marcus Aurelius had someone stand behind him to remind him he was mortal? I need something similar to that, someone who reminds me from time to time that all creative endeavour doesn't need to become a stressful project, to unclench my jaw, drink more water and do my yoga.
Denouement
The above figure of zero new subscribers is now no longer true, after one further push on Instagram. Hello and welcome, by the way! But the principle of what I wrote still stands. The only momentum this newsletter really has is that the more I hit the deadline, the more there is a compulsion to continue to keep hitting the deadline.
It's a bank holiday weekend, so for those of you to whom that means something, I hope you can take time to relax, recharge and recuperate. See you next week!