Reflection #58 – Breath and Anxiety

I hesitate before sending these words, afraid of judgment, of misunderstanding, of being seen too clearly.

Everyone worries, this is something else-- a sudden breathless crashing wave, no fight, only flight.

The heart races, the chest tightens. my insides feel sick physically sick at heart.

I imagine judgment, misunderstandings—and… making myself small, wanting to quietly disappear.

Now, looking back, I think how many choices were quietly shaped by dread never named?

Still, even in this moment I’m longing that feelings, however fierce. will not be forever.

The raging stories of my mind are hopefully not true… now I long for this wave to pass, and breath to return.

--Patricia D. Brown